Ep. 96 Lost in Life? 5 Steps to Rediscover Your True Self

In Episode 2 of the Lost in the Noise coaching series (guided by the angels), I share with you the importance of understanding and managing emotions that drive our thoughts and behaviors, and the need for self-compassion, identifying core values and passions to create authentic life change.

Through the 5 steps identified, you’ll gain the tools to build a solid foundation and structure your personal growth or in navigating grief in a way that allows you to create optimal life changes that are manageable and true to you at every stage of your transformation.

This series is largely designed for Millennials, Gen Z and those at any age who by tragedy or circumstance, feel lost and want a more structured approach and the tools to rebuild and enhance all areas of your life with confidence and ease.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome.
• 0:08 Lost in Life: Introduction and Overview.
• 2:03 Understanding Emotions and Their Impact.
• 4:22 Balancing Mental and Emotional States (
• 8:25 Five Steps to Rediscover Your True Self.
• 18:23 Closing.

Transcript

Vonne Solis  0:00  
Lost in the noise? I got you. I'm Vonne Solis. Welcome to this series for powerful life change. 

Vonne Solis  0:08  
Hi. So welcome to Episode 2 of my Lost in the Noise series. This episode is titled, "Lost in Life? 5 Steps to Rediscover Your True Self". So Lost in the Noise, is a dedicated coaching series to help anyone who feels lost or without an identity discover who they really are on a journey of powerful transformation. So I hope you stick with me, and thank you very much for being here. 

Vonne Solis  0:37  
In Episode 1, we left off understanding that committing to treating yourself first with the gentleness and respect that is necessary for all transformation will help you to immediately start eliminating or reducing the imbalance you may be feeling in all areas of your life. Which is a solid beginning that you need to set your transformation in motion, to basically getting what you want in life during all periods and stages of your life, and as things change and events happen. Or, just you know, you progress and evolve consciously. We sometimes want different things, and this coaching series is designed to help you have all the tools you need to always basically master your life and get what you want. 

Vonne Solis  1:29  
So turning to this episode again, which is Lost in Life and 5steps to Rediscover Your True Self. I'm going to take you through these steps that are going to offer you the ability to create a foundation that you can rely on, no matter what happens in your life, to always know yourself and chart a course for the next phase of your journey with confidence and ease. So let's get to it.

Vonne Solis  2:02  
Turning to the idea where we left off, that understanding that committing to treating yourself first with the gentleness and respect that is required for all transformation to immediately start eliminating or reducing the imbalance in all areas that you may be feeling, this is actually what sets your transformation in motion. We really can't create what we want in our lives when we're feeling a jumbled mess of anything underneath the surface and certainly at the deepest parts within us. 

Vonne Solis  2:02  
So a lot of this chaos, we'll just call it we're feeling within, extends to what we're experiencing in the external is due to the underlying and obvious, predominant mental and emotional states that govern most of our conscious or awake time. Some of these, which can't be helped for a variety of either health-related reasons or they are thought based reasons that are driving how you present yourself in the world, and therefore attract what you are experiencing that as yet have been undiscovered by you and not yet possible to change. That would be these undesirable thoughts and beliefs. 

Vonne Solis  3:26  
So when you think about emotion, which is really driving us and is a largely untouched subject for many people who strive to stay as far away as possible from that which is buried underneath and causing them their pain from accumulated unpleasant experiences, it is in fact, the energy of emotion that drives most of our thoughts, actions and behaviors. I like to think of emotion as E equals energy in motion. So capital E and then the word Motion capitalized equals E = Motion. This is what is driving us to think, act, behave in certain ways, and certainly plays a huge part in what we believe about ourselves. 

Vonne Solis  4:17  
And while emotions are one of the hardest things for us to identify and connect to at a deep level, because of the uncertainty of what they will bring up for us? We have turned, largely as a society, to treating our mental state for many of these negative and painful thoughts, behaviors and actions that are constantly driving us. 

Vonne Solis  4:41  
In treating our mental state, we center on our ability largely to think rationally, make decisions and cope. While on the other hand, the emotional state is very much being aware of and accepting what we are feeling and having the skills to process what is going on within us. Again, a boundary that can't be crossed for millions of people because of the threat that unpredictable emotions are to us.

Vonne Solis  5:15  
Yet in general, because the affect of one state on the other, mental and emotional. Emotional and mental will influence what we are experiencing in all areas of our daily life, without the capability to go within and really understanding what we are feeling and process what is going on within us, it will leave us with a huge imbalance of energy that presents as illness, stress, anxiety, frustration, doubt, hopelessness, mistrust of the world and therefore our place in it. Which impacts everything we do and all of our relationships in one way or another, usually very negatively and chaotic. 

Vonne Solis  6:06  
Alternatively, a balanced state of mind, where we feel overall contentment in our life presents as this deep satisfaction we have with everything going on in our life. And if something isn't working out in one area, we are confident we will be presented with options and ideas that pull us in the right direction towards the vision we have for our life. Which then produces a host of positive emotions that in turn help us attract the life experiences and conditions we do want, physically and internally that are correlating precisely to what we are feeling and expressing emotionally at any given time in relation to what we feel about ourselves and our life in general. 

Vonne Solis  6:54  
Sometimes this can be what we are feeling and emotionally expressing about others in our life. But, as a self-focused species, humans are inclined to be one-directional in their desire to feel great and succeed, to satisfy the ego, or what we will refer to here as the lower self. And that's okay when we are aware of the difference between choosing success from the inside for overall contentment, and for which we don't depend on external influences to achieve this. They will follow always when we are happy within. And for those times we are choosing to wallow, to soothe ourselves as best we can in this all too real Human Condition we find ourselves in on this planet.

Vonne Solis  7:44  
So for those feeling lost and without direction, the following5 steps offer you an approach to develop a framework and build a solid foundation to start creating life changes almost immediately with a more structured approach. And while this framework can shift as you personally grow or if you are impacted by life events that cause you to reconsider or reframe your life in any way, in general, it does provide guidelines to develop a more meaningful relationship to yourself through introspection that for many will become a life practice. Especially the more committed you are to evolving your mind as part of the overall enhancements you are making to your life. So here are the five steps. 

Vonne Solis  8:34  
Number one, understand your core values and beliefs. And while this may sound obvious, it may be surprising to some, how little they have actually thought about their core values and beliefs. Which, without doing so, can lend itself to a host of mental health issues when you don't know yourself well, if at all or what you want. This also leads people to feeling stuck and without hope of finding any way to change whatever situation they are struggling with, to become more aware of who you want to be. What you really want to do in your life, which includes work and personal. The environments you most want to be in. The people and relationships you want to surround yourself with. How you want to be treated and how you actually treat others. What is important to you. How deserving you feel of what you want.What excites you. What brings you joy. Joy being defined as those moments where your heart feels like it's singing out of your chest. And if you don't feel any of this, why not? What is consuming you and feels like a waste of time? What would you rather fill your time with and with whom, if anyone? To answer these questions and more that come up as you allow yourself to be curious about you, the more you will define and refine what you value and what you believe about yourself and the world you find yourself living in. 

Vonne Solis  10:10  
Number 2. Focus on self-compassion. While this is worthy of an episode on its own, it is never too soon to start thinking about compassion as a driving force for your emotions. Remember energy in motion equals capital E. Capital Motion. So knowing precisely how much energy you give to anything in your inner and outer world that is currently being shown to you as what you manifest directly correlates to how you see yourself and the world around you. Both positive and negative. To raise this vibration and improve your overall thoughts and beliefs, begin by practicing gentleness, forgiveness and understanding for yourself of any limitations you may have, and for all that you perceive as, quote, unquote less than. Which includes your capabilities and what you are currently choosing for yourself that you may desire to start changing immediately or down the road a bit. Allow space for new thoughts and beliefs to emerge as you embrace personal growth through introspection and curiosity and the opportunities that will arise as new energy is created within from a faster vibration and more positive focus. Remember you are a creature of magic and magnitude of power that most people have barely begun to understand. Those parts of you that remain a mystery today are there for you to discover and explore more deeply in time and as you are ready to embrace all of who you are. Not just today, but for eternity. 

Vonne Solis  12:09  
Number 3. Identify your passions and interests. While you may or may not feel passion for something as yet identified by that fire within pushing you to go in a certain direction, identifying what would create that spark of joy to make your heart sing, or what you'd really love to do. Sometimes discovered by knowing what you don't want to do, this plays a significant part in forming identity and creating changes in your life with confidence and the certainty you will get exactly what you want pretty much when you want it. And while it can take time to identify your passions, which can evolve or change over time, getting clear about what you love and feel inspired by, can lead you to your life purpose and a host of other opportunities in a completely different wheelhouse than the one you're experiencing now. Opportunities that come to all of us on this path in various ways. 

Vonne Solis  13:17  
For example, I became an author and dedicated in all areas of my work to helping people expand their consciousness and claim self-mastery over their life, completely rooted in my bereavement after losing my daughter to suicide in 2005. Others may have life experiences or a constant drive to do something where they establish a nonprofit. Start a business. Become motivational speakers or activists. Change their career midlife, or follow a dedicated path early on. Feeling passionate about what you do and what you represent, your environments and the values you hold most dear can lead you to switch course when the path you are on feels wrong at any age or at any time. Volunteering, taking up new hobbies, joining certain communities, undertaking specific studies, these and any other ideas you come up with on your own that at first may be subtle or not so subtle, all hint at or are driving you to pursue what you intuitively know within will lead you down a certain path and set the course for the rest of your life. Or at least for what you are envisioning for the next period of time that truly feels authentic to you.

Vonne Solis  14:42  
The key is to check in within to see how you are resonating with any changes you are making or a direction you think you should go by listening to what your heart and gut is telling you and not being afraid to be truthful with your answer.To determine this, ask yourself the following questions. Does this decision feel right for this moment? And, do I feel ready for this opportunity or change right now? When you trust that you can get what you want in your life, changing course will not feel as frightening or impossible. You'll believe that you can create what you want, whenever you want, and will always be led to the opportunities that will take you to your next step. And then you just got to have faith it'll all turn out the way it's meant to. Your job is to remain alert to your opportunities and follow your heart when seizing them. If not this one, then another one will come along that is for the better. 

Vonne Solis  15:52  
Number 4. Create a vision, not a rigid plan. All of the above will allow you to broadly create a vision for your life. And for those who can't envision their life too far down the road, choosing a time frame that feels manageable to imagine rather than longer term will suffice. What you envision for your life does not have to be specific or rigid, but rather how you see yourself traveling in a general direction that may be passion-based or purpose driven, based on the information you have acquired from introspection. A loose vision can provide clarity for some of your steps and motivate you to keep going when some opportunities feel like a wrong turn or that you've made a mistake by pursuing a certain opportunity. Keep your focus on the progress you have made, and check in often with your inner radar confirming you are on the right path for this part of the journey. And then stay flexible. Sometimes what you think you want may not be what you want. Opportunities that feel like a wrong turn can be valuable to help you get a clearer life vision. A slight pivot can be sufficient to get yourself back to balance.

Vonne Solis  17:13  
And number 5. Seek meaningful connections. One of the blessings we can all have is to be surrounded by people who love and support us without judgment. Family and friends who remain understanding of our journey and are there to just listen or offer another point of view can be a godsend. Figuring life out is not easy for anyone. Having a core group of people that you can trust with your struggles and successes can provide you with both the opportunity to simply vent or stimulate conversation to help you sift through ideas, decisions, and ultimately make changes in your life. In the end, no one can figure out our lives except us. Having a supportive group of people around us, no matter how small, can remind us of how much we have accomplished. How proud they are and we should be of ourselves. Which motivates us to stay on track during all phases of this wild and wonderful journey we call life. 

Vonne Solis  18:23  
I hope you enjoyed Episode 2 of my Lost in the Noise series, and I invite you to stay with me as we all journey through powerful transformation through this coaching series, largely guided by the angels. For more resources, visit my website at vonnesolis.com or to sign up for my newsletter to stay in the loop about what's happening in my life as I go through my own transformation. 

Vonne Solis  18:49  
Thanks for watching, thanks for listening. Until next time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai