Ep. 88 Pain to Purpose: Unlocking Your Consciousness

In Part 9 of the Soul Sisters series, join me and my real-life sister, Brenda Rachel, as we delve into finding your life purpose after experiencing tragedy, struggle, or feeling lost. We’ll guide you in starting a deep and meaningful exploration of your inner self to foster optimal personal growth and spiritual development and unlock the transformation you truly desire and trust you can create!

Connect with Brenda:
https://www.brendarachel4angels.com/

Brenda's book "Broken Spirit, Awakened Soul, My Journey of Healing with the Angels"
https://www.amazon.com/BROKEN-SPIRIT-AWAKENED-SOUL-Journey-ebook/dp/B0CBD3QLW8/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=Brenda+Rachel+Broken+Spirit&qid=1701376272&sr=8-1

 Connect with Vonne:
https://vonnesolis.com/

Vonne's books:
https://vonnesolis.com/vonne-solis-books/

Living Meditations on YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/@livingmeditations

Coaching with Vonne:
Click on the link below to learn about my coaching services and to book a pre-coaching Zoom call if you are a serious student of life. (Limited enrollment).
https://calendly.com/vonnesolis/one-on-one-coaching-with-vonne-solis

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Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome.
• 0:08 Finding and identifying purpose in life, with a focus on overcoming struggles and finding happiness.
• 3:42 Purpose and feeling lost after tragedy or struggle.
• 7:19 Purpose and drive, with a focus on personal growth and spirituality.
• 12:11 Finding purpose through hardship and suffering.
• 19:14 Near-death experiences and the afterlife.
• 25:02 Finding purpose through a spiritual journey and identifying your gifts.
• 29:41 Taking responsibility for one's reality and seeking help from angels to overcome struggles.
• 35:38 Coping with grief, loss, and disability through small changes and self-awareness.
• 43:46 Accepting disabilities and aging, merging spiritual and human selves.
• 47:53 Embracing spirituality and overcoming childhood trauma.
• 54:09 Personal growth, healing, and self-care.

Transcript

Brenda Rachel  0:08  
Welcome to the Soul Sisters series, where you'll get thought-driven inspiring topics for your soul! With Vonne Solis and Brenda Rachel.

Vonne Solis  0:30  
Okay, so welcome to Part 9 of the Soul Sisters series. I'm Vonne.

Brenda Rachel  0:37  
I'm Brenda. And together we are the soul sisters!

Vonne Solis  0:44  
So welcome. As I said before, we never get tired of doing that. So thank you for bearing with us.

Brenda Rachel  0:49  
We sure don't. We sure don't.

Vonne Solis  0:51  
So, last week, we talked in Part 8 all about struggle. How to identify struggle. Most people know that but we talked about some things that you know, present as struggle, and, you know, could be a surprise for some people. So we talked about that. How to get out of it. What motivated both Brenda and I through our various struggles. Me mostly in my bereavement as a bereaved mother from the loss of my daughter to suicide in 2005. Brenda with struggling with Fibro and many disabilities, possibly all related to fibro.

Brenda Rachel  1:32  
Yes.

Vonne Solis  1:33  
Probably. 

Brenda Rachel  1:33  
Many of them. Yeah. 

Vonne Solis  1:34  
So in all of the work that she has, you know, written about in her books, and Broken Spirit Awakened Soul and her most recent book, and me and my books. Divine Healing, and also, Lessons in Surviving Suicide as my most like two most poignant books. You know, we've talked a lot about our struggles and overcoming them. And then on this Soul Sisters series, we have, like, just some conversation, to sort of feel like we're right in your living room, or wherever you're watching this podcast episode or listening to this podcast episode, to inspire. To expand in every way in your life right?

Brenda Rachel  2:14  
Right. 

Vonne Solis  2:15  
And obviously, to choose the best life that you can for yourself, as we have done and continue to do. So in this episode, today, we're going to talk all about purpose. And I'm not going to expand on what I think about purpose right at the moment, but I am just going to say, purpose in general. How to identify it. What if you can't find it? Is it even important? And we're going to talk all about divine timing, and blend it in probably, with the work that we have done since 2006 as Angel Healing practitioners. And again, how what we do. How we live. What we're sharing, just as I said, to inspire. To invite deeper thinking, can maybe help you and change your life in whatever way you may be struggling or simply want to grow. So welcome.

Brenda Rachel  3:07  
Welcome. 

Vonne Solis  3:08  
Yeah. So let's get right to it sis. 

Brenda Rachel  3:12  
Okay. 

Vonne Solis  3:13  
Let's just talk about purpose. 

Brenda Rachel  3:14  
Okay. 

Vonne Solis  3:15  
You go and just tell me, what you think about purpose. The thing I want to start to get across that's different from what we hear a lot about purpose, purpose. Find your purpose, find your purpose, live your purpose, you'll be happy. Yeah, well, so, so I want to get your thoughts on what you think about finding purpose in general. And is it even important? Like for those people that go like, I'm never gonna find it. Cause I did struggle. I didn't have a clue what my purpose was until Janaya died. 

Brenda Rachel  3:15  
Right. Right. Okay. So for me, I didn't have a purpose either until 2004, when I had my disability with my feet. And even though I had in the 90s, late 80s, and 90s, studied to become a minister. Was going in that direction and then that didn't happen, then I was absolutely purposeless. And so I thought to myself, What do I do now? 

Vonne Solis  4:18  
Yeah.

Brenda Rachel  4:18  
Like, I was doing lots of fun things, lots of fun activities.

Vonne Solis  4:22  
Right. 

Brenda Rachel  4:23  
But I had no purpose. And for me, it was very important.

Vonne Solis  4:26  
Okay.

Brenda Rachel  4:27  
Because I felt very, very incomplete. And I just, every day it was like, What am I doing? Like just going to the office every day. I worked in an office and I just went to the office every day. And I felt like there was something more.

Vonne Solis  4:43  
Yeah.

Brenda Rachel  4:44  
But nothing was opening up. 

Vonne Solis  4:46  
Right.

Brenda Rachel  4:46  
No doors were opening up.

Vonne Solis  4:47  
Right.

Brenda Rachel  4:48  
And my health wasn't operating functionally. 

Vonne Solis  4:51  
Right. 

Brenda Rachel  4:51  
And so I just anyway, I felt very 

Vonne Solis  4:56  
The word to me like for me is coming rudderless. 

Brenda Rachel  4:58  
Yeah. 

Vonne Solis  4:59  
Rudderless. 

Brenda Rachel  5:00  
Yeah, yeah, you're absolutely right. 

Vonne Solis  5:02  
Yeah so. I didn't mean to interrupt you there but it just I was 

Brenda Rachel  5:06  
Great analogy. Great 

Vonne Solis  5:07  
Right?

Brenda Rachel  5:08  
analogy. Yeah.

Vonne Solis  5:08  
And and however you view your life. Whether you view it as a life raft, a ship. A whatever. Like when you can't, when you feel that you can't steer yourself, it is a very lost and lonely and isolating experience. 

Brenda Rachel  5:23  
Absolutely.

Vonne Solis  5:24  
Right?

Brenda Rachel  5:25  
And that's exactly. And I used to lay in bed at night and say, like, what am I doing here? 

Vonne Solis  5:30  
Yeah.

Brenda Rachel  5:31  
Really, like, what am I doing here? I felt like I was taking up space that for no reason. Like it was really, really it was a real conflict. Total inner conflict with me. 

Vonne Solis  5:43  
Yeah. So I want to actually just speak directly to you a little bit audience just for a moment here. Because there is a lot of, in my, in my conversations with people and having guests, you know, that come on the show. And, you know, we talk a lot about purpose. And I think, I think that the word purpose has gained ground over the last few years, for sure. It was really popular in the like, the 80s, 70s, and the 80s and purpose purpose, and then it kind of went away a little bit. And, you know, it was sort of for the spiritual gurus and the people that were, you know, going to go climb the top of the mountain and, you know, meditate and find their, you know, God given purpose. And I do know, in my life when I was busy raising my family. My two kids. Married. We were travelling. We were in the diplomatic corps. Lived overseas. I mean life was busy. Life was, I'd say, actually kind of pretty exciting. It was full for sure, as most families will find their lives quite full. And it seems more when you're touched by some tragedy, or illness, or disability, or other pain, and struggle coming from myriad of things. You know, relationship, breakups, lost jobs, financial problems, lost homes. Loss, loss, loss of some kind. And I think when it touches us in our spirit in such a way that we feel this rudderlessness. 

Brenda Rachel  7:14  
Yeah.

Vonne Solis  7:15  
That's when we gravitate to the word purpose.

Brenda Rachel  7:18  
Right.

Vonne Solis  7:19  
Do you think so? 

Brenda Rachel  7:19  
I do. I think that, but I also think that there is that nugget of soul seeking within, that drives, that drives the momentum, to be seeking a purpose. Because there are many, many people that are quite content

Vonne Solis  7:35  
Right.

Brenda Rachel  7:36  
doing their life. So I'm just saying, for myself, there was just something inside of me, that kept driving me to say, there's something more. I feel there's something some reason for me to be here.

Vonne Solis  7:50  
 Right.

Brenda Rachel  7:51  
But had no clue. Absolutely no clue. Not even an inkling of what that was. 

Vonne Solis  7:58  
Right. So I want to say a couple things. One is that so sticking just to the folks right now, that have a busy content, contented life, and basically no real problems. Maybe a few little life situations that most people have, but nothing that's derailed them. And not really thinking about purpose, and that's okay. So your purpose might be just simply to be a parent, and raise your kids. Your purpose might be just to establish a career and get yourself on track. All A-okay. Things that we don't necessarily think of as a purpose as such. A life, a soul purpose. So when we're talking about purpose, we're talking soul purpose here. So I'll just make that difference. And I will say, I believe very strongly that a soul purpose can be to raise a family.

Brenda Rachel  8:52  
Absolutely. Absolutely.

Vonne Solis  8:53  
Holy smoly! Or be a guardian to pets. Or, you know like, you know, people who end up having kind of bigger purposes. And they go and you know, they're you know, working in some kind of global capacity, or, you know, conservation capacity, whatever. So those are very, very big purposes. But when we're talking here purpose, and years ago, you know, when I was doing angel readings for many years. I did them for 10 years, but many people that came for readings wanted to know their purpose. And so whatever drives you to want to know your purpose. First of all, I want to say let it be okay, if you haven't discovered it yet, but do be excited that you have found this sort of tickle inside. This little moment. Like this little twitch or whatever you want to call it. Nagging nugget, something driving you to go hmm. Or be curious if not driving you. To be curious about, I think I'm here for something else.

Brenda Rachel  8:53  
Right. So I was just going to interject and just add to not add, but emphasize.

Vonne Solis  10:05  
Yeah. 

Brenda Rachel  10:05  
That the drive. It's a drive. It's something that I can't explain and it just happened. And it was just within me that I just knew. It was a knowing that I was here to do something. 

Vonne Solis  10:26  
Yeah. 

Brenda Rachel  10:26  
Not having a clue what that something was. 

Vonne Solis  10:28  
Yeah. The other thing that I'll add to that is when I was a child, I was very curious. And I remember staring out the bedroom window. I may have mentioned this to you in past. And I would just look at the big sky, you know, and I'd go, like, what am I here for? And I was like, maybe 12 13, 14. And in a former episode, we were talking a lot about, well, actually, it was episode one. And we were talking a lot about how we were raised very much with the church influence, and went on to, you know, basically non-denominational type practice of Christianity or a Christian practice. Which led for sure me into a more metaphysical and certainly my my spiritual practice by my mid-20s. But when I was 12, I went up with Billy Graham in our small town, you see, because I just felt this calling to come up. And as I was saying, in that episode, just you know, sort of wasn't being ordained, but being touched by Billy Graham, just sort of as a recognition. I'm here to do God's work in some way. And so that would have been a nudging. An inkling of something, but a way too young. I was way too young to put the pieces together. 

So for me, it wasn't until I was 48 years old when Janaya took her life in 2005, that all the pieces kind of went "chink chink chink chink" and the puzzle was built. And I knew what I was here to do. But I still didn't know how that was going to unfold. And put simply, I was here to basically change the way we view loss and grief, so that we can better support the bereaved as they rebuild their lives. That's essentially the work I do. But, I didn't have the words for it until many years later. So your purpose can evolve. I'm not sure, I guess you can have more than one purpose, can't you? 

Brenda Rachel  12:24  
I think they can be intermingled for sure.

Vonne Solis  12:26  
Intermingled?

Brenda Rachel  12:26  
Yes.

Vonne Solis  12:27  
Yeah, yeah. So for me, my purpose very much was to be a mom. That drove me and my daughter actually came to me when I was 16 years old in dreams. And I dreamt about her until I had her at age 25. And, and so it was not a coincidence that when she passed away, she came to me in dreams, and still does. And that's obviously the relationship that we have. But she started when I was 16 years old. So I already knew what she was going to look like. And this little baby was always visiting me. Always visiting me. And actually, when I had her, she looked pretty much exactly how she had come to me in her in my dreams. So that's just a little aside and a fun thing, but it all tied into the purpose. 

Brenda Rachel  13:15  
Exactly.

Vonne Solis  13:16  
The purpose I was going to have her. The purpose of the work I was going to do when she left me all too soon. So I just want to encourage you and I definitely want to have your your thoughts on it sis. For the people that may be struggling, please don't struggle. If you have a nudging, right? Stop. Be quiet. Listen. Listen. And I had to do that through all of my bereavement, and particularly in the first many years, when I was just this lost vessel. And so I'm really not just like going back and trying to think what it was like, you know, 40 odd years ago, when I'm trying to connect to a purpose, but not really diligently. But just hmm, being curious. I literally lost my identity and had to rebuild myself and I was rudderless for many, many, many, many, many years. And just kind of floundering and just following you know, one footstep after the next footstep to gain my ground. And as I just said, I couldn't put the new or the bigger purpose or, this is what it was all about. Freak. Freak. Her death. Whoa! And should anything as dramatic and tragic happened to me in the future, I'll probably have to re-evaluate that. We were just talking. Weren't we just talking the other day? I'm not sure. Please. I hope I'm not here to learn more. 

Brenda Rachel  14:41  
Yeah.

Vonne Solis  14:42  
Like like we don't want to go through

Brenda Rachel  14:44  
Like, like negative things.

Vonne Solis  14:45  
Like another major overhaul of my life. 

Brenda Rachel  14:49  
Yeah.

Vonne Solis  14:49  
We were having coffee the other day. And I just said that to Bren. And I was like, Oh God, I don't. I'm tired. I don't think I could do that because I've given this my all. And so going back to whatever inkling, niggling, nudging you have within. Listen to your heart, listen to your gut. Be curious. And let your nudging take you where it may to find whatever you're meant to find that is surely to lead you to ultimately what you are on the planet to do. If you feel it that strongly. 

Brenda Rachel  15:23  
So I just also want to say, it didn't happen to either of us to find our purpose through a positive way. That doesn't mean we had to, chose to go through very negative situations, hardship, to learn. To, to come to the identity of our purpose. That does not mean that for any other person on this planet?

Vonne Solis  15:47  
Right.

Brenda Rachel  15:48  
That needs to be their truth. To find your purpose, can come to you in a very positive manner. We just made choices in our charting, when we came here, to have it be negative experiences that drove us to our purpose.

Vonne Solis  16:05  
Yeah, for me, very painful and you know, rooted in suffering. But that's the work I do. Is to be a bright light for others who, you know, have chosen their own pain and suffering. And I would say there's, I would say that purpose comes to us. We're driven more to connect to that something more. Purpose, the Divine, our soul, our spiritual practice, through hardship, pain, and potentially tragedy and suffering. A lot of people will find, it could be it could be ill-health. You know, it could be near death. It's something that really, if you don't come to it through knowing as a child. Like I also really connected with writing. And I tell this story a little bit elsewhere where, you know, again, I was about 12 years old, and got, I think Mom had an old Olivetti typewriter. And so this would be in the late 60s. And I would just sit on the bed and just tck tck tck. Somehow I typed. Probably with two fingers, but nevertheless, typed out stories. I loved it.

I also, you know, a little bit younger than that cut out from the Sears catalog. You know, I mean, I remember having a dollhouse, but I was fascinated by all these picture perfect pages in the Sears catalog that you'd get every season. And I would make, I would cut them out meticulously, and I'd have my mom and my dad and my, and the boy and the girl. And then I'd put the living room together. And the bath, well I don't know about the bathroom, but the living room, the kitchen. So I put my house together and I'd lay all these pieces out on my bed. And I guess I would just sit there and literally dream. Daydream would be a better way to say that about just a perfect family. Right down to imagining, say in fall, October, November, cold, windy, maybe even rainy weather. And they would walk past my house and it would just emit all these perfect cooking smells and warmth and cheer. And you know, I guess love although I wasn't thinking about in terms of love. And what I was doing in my mind is not only preparing to create that in my life. So I go so far as to say, tapping into a well, it's not exactly a signpost for that. I consider people like, Ah, you're my signpost or something like that. An interchange. But this was more like just tapping into some kind of connection with the plan for the incarnation starting right back then. You know, because I did become a writer. I did create that home exactly as I described it. I did have a son and a daughter. And you know, and so it the tapestry. 

You and I have talked about soul tapestries. And I have long for many years, felt soul, the incarnation that we're here with this piece of the soul. Thinking of the huge tapestry as the bigger soul. And I'm not an expert in this. This is just how I have have adopted it to understand it in my experience. And this incarnation is just a little tiny, tiny, you know, piece of that fabric. Fragment of that that creates the bigger, bigger, bigger thing. That I'm hoping when at least I transition, I'll be able to go, Yeah, it all made sense. And you know, when you have this life review. It all made sense. And this incarnation was key for you, as painful as it was, and joyous, you know, to complete this part of it. Whatever we're doing.  Anyway, that's how I look at it. How do you look at it? How do you look at soul? 

Brenda Rachel  20:24  
Well, I look at soul as this is just a fragmentation. It's just as if you took off a piece of cookie, and you have a bite of a cookie. And you've got a cookie in the whole rest of the cookie. And, you know, like, and it's a cookie that never ends. Like, it's not going to all get devoured because I don't know. Anyway, I haven't really, you know, got an analogy for that. But just that this is for me, it's just one little bread crumb.

Vonne Solis  20:55  
Bread crumb. That's a great way of saying it. Bread crumb. Do you think that when we cross, we get the understanding of the much bigger picture of the energy, the light we are or whatever we are in our truth that's not this physical being. And while, we're not talking about afterlife here. I've done a couple episodes on it. And there are people that do work in this. PH Atwater is a huge researcher of afterlife. There's tons of stuff online you can research. But anyway, so understanding. For those of us that understand and adopt this, you know, belief that we are much, much more than this corporeal body. This physical, dead weight body. Do you and so whatever we return to do you think we get the whole picture for the incarnation then and that piece? That crumb that we were? How it fits into the 

Brenda Rachel  22:01  
Well I

Vonne Solis  22:02  
into the existence?

Brenda Rachel  22:04  
I think that for me, you know, like, when I go, and I'm laying however it is, I will know that I'm making my transition?

Vonne Solis  22:06  
Yeah. 

Brenda Rachel  22:06  
No matter how fast or how slow the process is. But I also believe that from the moment that I pass, I'll be light. I'll just be light. 

Vonne Solis  22:22  
Yeah. 

Brenda Rachel  22:23  
And I don't I really don't know if I'll see the whole picture. 

Vonne Solis  22:27  
Not sure we need to.

Brenda Rachel  22:28  
But I, that's a human kind of thought.

Vonne Solis  22:31  
I know, I know. 

Brenda Rachel  22:32  
And so because I don't think pictures and all of that kind of stuff. 

Vonne Solis  22:35  
Yeah. 

Brenda Rachel  22:36  
Do you know what I'm saying?

Vonne Solis  22:36  
 I do know what you're saying. 

Brenda Rachel  22:38  
Because that's concrete. 

Vonne Solis  22:39  
No, I know. 

Brenda Rachel  22:39  
And I just I just the way I see myself leaving is just flash of light. 

Vonne Solis  22:44  
Oh, interesting. Interesting.

Brenda Rachel  22:46  
That's how I see myself. 

Vonne Solis  22:47  
And maybe that's how you will go. Because things, many books I've read over the years and, you know, and anything about people who have experienced near death experience. Where they've like, well, you know, it's really a death experience where they've literally died. And you and I've talked about it. It shouldn't be near death. Ot should just be a death experience and you've come back. It's not near. They've died. They've been pronounced scientifically, medically. dead. And then they come back. And a lot of them are firm believers that and then and also spiritual leaders over the decades, have basically proclaimed that the passing is what's in our consciousness and essentially what we want it to be. And I actually felt really comforted by that because, you know, I mean, a lot of us are afraid to die, understandably. And I don't think it's, you know, what? Listen, I'm gonna say, for me, I don't think it's that I'm afraid to die. It's more how I'm gonna go. I just don't want to be in pain. Other than that, I'm good. I'm good to go. And I'm not saying I want to go. I'm not saying that. 

But my daughter, Janaya has showed me so much that and so many times over the years, that, you know, it's kind of like a party. It's like yeewho and nothing to be afraid of. And so these people, millions of them that have actually spoken about their near-death experience. Their death and their return to the body. Almost none of them wanted, I don't think any of them, I don't think I've ever read any that wanted to come back into the body. None. And so and so, if that's a comfort for any of us, we can hold on to that. And we kind of got down to a side, a side, you know, conversation here a little bit in terms of kind of back to the purpose. But I think that why I'm talking about that is because when you are like kickstarted into, I know there's more. And purpose is quite often connected to this feeling of knowing there's more? Than all of that It comes into it. And we understand or for sure adopt the practice for our life. So conducting ourselves. Trusting in the process of, of the human experience, and it's, you know, limitations that we can depend and ask for and trust, you know, the well, I'll just say the resources that are there that can't be seen. That they're going to help us through all of this human struggling. 

And I couldn't have done my surviving the way, I guess needed to survive in the in the certainly the first hours, weeks, months, years of losing, Janaya without the angels. You know? And could I see them? No. Had I physically experienced them to that point? Yes. Enough that gave me just that inkling, inkling, teeny inkling. For the audio, I'm holding my little, you know, like a pinch of salt here, fingers up, to demonstrate that. I just had that little tiny inkling of, of, of hope and trust, that they were wholly with me. And honestly, when you open up that whole kind of canvas of possibility, you just really can't go back to the, you know, boxed in human way of thinking, and, you know, just living life.

Brenda Rachel  26:41  
Well once, you know, there's more, or once I knew there was more, there was more.

Vonne Solis  26:45  
There was more. What a great way to say it.

Brenda Rachel  26:48  
You know?

Vonne Solis  26:48  
Once I knew there was more, there was more. And it's like, yeah, and it was a sense of comfort. Yeah. And yeah, you know, it was just a it was just a once you know, that. Like, for me, my purpose was defined or given to me, when I was off with my feet isn't really planted flower planters fasciitis, and plantar fasciitis anyway, and the music started coming, you know, started channeling the music to me, and the words and the music Simon some simultaneous sometimes simultaneously, sometimes not. Yeah, but anyways, and I then asked the angels laying on the couch in agony. What is it you want me to learn from this experience? None was a direct question to them. And from that moment on, my purpose has evolved. 

Yeah. And in earlier episodes, we do talk more in depth about our actual connection to purpose, and our spiritual journey, and all of all of that in earlier episodes. But while you were talking, I was thinking, the other thing that's really important to share, is that the more that we open ourselves up to what we can't see, the more we can be of service. The more that this energy can come in to our beings to be then released and channelled, shared, communicated in the way that we were gifted. Chose to be on this planet to fulfill that, quote, unquote, purpose. 

Brenda Rachel  28:30  
Exactly. Absolutely. 

Vonne Solis  28:32  
Yeah. So I don't think we can say anything more about that. It's just if you are looking for purpose the other thing that came to me recently with a guest on the show was talking about it in terms of what are you really good at. What's your gift? What's your gift? And when, when this person, this, this guest, I had when we talked about when you think about what's my gift? Instead of gotta go after the purpose. Gotta make this life worthy. And if you have more than one major gift. I don't know what it is, it could be listening. Whatever it is, you know, make a list of all the things that you're really talented at. Good at, as, as a human being, and refine it until you kind of if you could only be one thing, or you could only serve in one way. You know, okay, maybe two or three but your top, you know, your top three, but narrow it down, narrow it down. And if you need to think about it like that, a lot of people when they're teaching coaching, talk about, well, what do you love to do? 

And I do want to acknowledge that and talk about that just a little bit here. Because when you're in major struggle and pain it's really hard to even see, you know, the day. The next minute.

Brenda Rachel  29:58  
I

Vonne Solis  29:59  
like

Brenda Rachel  29:59  
no way I would have even been able to get out a pad of paper you know.

Vonne Solis  30:04  
And so you're not thinking about what you love to do. You hate everything, let's just be really clear. You're angry, and you know, you hate everything, you're in pain. And even if you don't hate everything and you're not angry, you're maybe too sick. Maybe too weak. Maybe too limited, whatever, to start thinking about even the possibility of tapping into something greater than yourself, and really fulfilling the Incarnation in the way that, you know, you could fulfill it and experience it completely opposite to what you're doing right now. And I really do get that. So we did talk a lot about the struggle in in Part Eight. And you know, how to stay motivated. So I invite you to actually, you know, check that episode. But just to sort of sum it up. You have to find something. I believe it takes the courage, the willingness. I've spoken before about the possibility it, you know, that that it possibly comes from the disposition that we chose the personality. 

Brenda Rachel  31:12  
Yeah.

Vonne Solis  31:12  
How we were born, and I'm going to be born with, you know, where I just inherited genes that makes me you know, see positive instead of negative. You know, but if you're caught in that sort of cycle, where the dominant approach to life is negative, and everything is a problem. Because if you're positive, you're already going to be looking for what can I do to change this? What can I do to better myself? What can I do to improve it? You know, you're just going to be wired that way. But if you're not, so speaking to those of you who may be watching this, and are caught. Truthfully, you have to truthfully look at yourself, and understand what your viewpoint is. How you're doing life. And if you're doing it from the whole, everybody else is wrong. You know, poor me. And again, we talked about this all in in Part Eight, then I would encourage you. Invite you, and even to some degree challenge you to go, Wait a minute, what if I didn't think that way? What if I flipped it to just the opposite, even just on this one thing. And allow yourself to feel some good. Because I really believe just in tying that piece up, that anybody caught in a poor me. And, you know, life is hard. And you know, life is happening to me. I have no power. Don't even think of it in terms of power. Just just basically poor me. That is like pain, plain and simple. Just coming from a very painful place. Unresolved pain that is causing them to feel stuck. 

Brenda Rachel  32:59  
Well and I would also say, from my own experience, when I got into the Ferris Wheel of pain, and I couldn't get myself off of it, it keeps perpetuating. And so 

Vonne Solis  33:17  
Yeah.

Brenda Rachel  33:17  
there's no escape. And it's just like if you see a ferris wheel going round and round and round and round. And the only way that I was even remotely possible to step off of that ferris wheel and see a little bit of light was my faith in the angels. 

Vonne Solis  33:36  
Yeah.

Brenda Rachel  33:36  
You know, and my trusting in the angels, and my working with the angels to see some bit of brightness. And actually, when I adopted the attitude that I created my own reality with every thought that I think, and that became the primary step for me, that my whole life changed. 

Vonne Solis  33:59  
I think what you're saying, we again, we re like we revisit this in most of the episodes because it because it's at the core, it's the core foundation of how Brenda and I both live our lives. We are responsible for all that has happened to us. We are, you know, we have the power within us to create what we want. Plain and simple. So we live like that and have lived like that for decades. And, 

Brenda Rachel  33:59  
And we don't blame anybody.

Vonne Solis  34:28  
No.

Brenda Rachel  34:29  
We don't blame anybody, or anything for what has happened to us. And we just we know that it was all part of our creation of our reality.

Vonne Solis  34:40  
Right. And so, again, for those doubting and going, Yeah, well, you might have it all together. We do have it together. You know and again, in former episodes, we tell you how we deal with things like anxiety and and I live with PTSD, how I manage that. So you know, it's not that we're completely challenge-free, but we're solution-oriented thinking and, you know, thinkers. And when we need something, we pop the request up to the angels. And that request is always fulfilled. And we have fine-tuned our lives to the point that that's just how, that's just our reality. So it pains me to see people suffer and struggle, when they don't think they have a way out, or can't see a way out. Because you can. And before my daughter died, she would be 40. Now, so when she was, you know, like nine and 10. And, you know, and through, you know, her teens, and, you know, and all the friends I had. And I was always encouraging, and helping them when they had some problems, and seeing in them what they couldn't see for themselves. And I didn't have a wide circle of friends. But you know, I certainly was involved socially. Certainly, when we lived in the diplomatic corps, lots and lots of people around and I was the go-to person. I was the go-to person that you know, you want to be cheered up? Do you want to be motivated? 

And when Janaya died at age 22, all that fell away They all they weren't there for me. And I have no blame. I'm just saying they were not there for me, and I had to completely rebuild my life. And the reason they weren't there for me, is because I was their pillar. And when that pillar crumbled, they didn't know how to be a support to me. And it took me a few years to understand that, you know, and not be hurt by that. And once I saw that, I have absolutely no, no anger. No resentment. No no feelings of, you know, like begrudging them any of that. None of that. In fact, I was thankful that it happened, because it was one aspect of the bereavement and the grief experience that I had that other people don't have. There might be other people out there, you know, in a tragic situation, bereavement, whatever it is that their friends rally, and they're all around them. But more often than not, I've, you know, talked to and met people who've had to completely rebuild their social circles, and be with people who do have the strength in the stomach to be around people who have suffered what they would never want to go through. And that's okay. I'm glad that happened to me, as I said, so I can understand that segment of the population. 

But the reason I'm talking about that, and linking this to when you feel powerless to create the life you want. And it's easier to blame others, and life itself. The world. Everybody's against you. Pain does that to you. It isolates you. And isolation impacts your mental and emotional state, and you immediately start creating this story. This repeat record in your head about how worthless you are. How nobody is listening. How nobody respects you. How nobody gets you, you know? How much you don't deserve anything more. Maybe you really do deserve what you're struggling with. And the list goes on. And so that's the cycle that you just have to get a little tiny wedge of light in there. A little tiny wedge of hope in there. A little tiny wedge of something different than that cycle. Than what that cycle is filled with, to leave room for a little bit more positivity, hope and the feeling that maybe I can get through this. You know, it's a very, you know, it's it's not as simple as I'm making it sound.

Brenda Rachel  39:08  
Yeah, no, no, and and I understand exactly what you're saying.

Vonne Solis  39:11  
Do you? Yeah.

Brenda Rachel  39:12  
I do. 

Vonne Solis  39:13  
Yeah. It's just that willingness to just take the first step. 

Brenda Rachel  39:16  
Exactly. It's just one little thing. Like for me, after I attempted my had my suicide attempt, and I didn't die. It was almost as hard to come back from that. Because I didn't want to be here. 

Vonne Solis  39:30  
Yeah. 

Brenda Rachel  39:30  
And so for me, it was a real battle inside of me. Now, what do I do? Because I'm here, and I have to start over from square one. 

Vonne Solis  39:40  
Yeah.

Brenda Rachel  39:41  
In a very, very negative and ill-health place.

Vonne Solis  39:44  
So a really good example of that is building on what Brenda just said, is both in our respective ways at various times. Various decades, different decades. Neither of us wanted to be here. 

Brenda Rachel  39:56  
Correct.

Vonne Solis  39:57  
And so that sliver. And it might have been, you know, more like a huge pillar, but the choice to be here, both of us and go, I'm choosing to be here. Now what? That was the opening. That was the opening. But it could be, as, you know, gentle as saying, waking up with the same pain. The same struggle. The same, you know, like, we say, every day is going to be the same unless you change it. And going, I want today to be different. And just by doing that, you might get a flash of a thought through your mind. You might decide to taste your first cup of tea or coffee in the morning differently. You might, you know, just decide to make one small change in your routine that is a little bit better for you than what it has been. However it comes to you. An appreciation for someone that you've you know, felt a lot of anger for. The list goes on. However it comes to you, that flips the switch on the otherwise, you know, routine thinking that is causing this pain cycle mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Just keep going round and round and round and round, like you said earlier. The ferris wheel. That's enough, in my experience and my view, to kickstart it, and gently allow more and more of what you really do want in your life to filter through. 

And we can't handle big changes. Here, that's the other thing I want to say, is years ago, if you remember, it was my 50th birthday. And you and I went to the tropics together. And at that point, you know, I was like, and I'd only been bereaved two years, and not even two years. And I had this grand vision of being this leader and being on stages and going around the world, and you know, and all this stuff. And, you know, that all fell away. And I don't knock myself for having those visions in my head back then. But as the years went on, and I didn't achieve not one single thing of what that vision, probably highly influenced by the thought leaders of the time that you know, were associated with The Secret that had become really big in 2007, 2008. And me going, I want to be one of them. I want to be one of them. And leaders, and I just didn't have the capacity in any way. Spiritually, mentally, emotionally, or physically to ever carry it out. And here I am 16 years later, from let's just say 2007 and don't even want those things anymore.

Brenda Rachel  43:05  
Right Right.

Vonne Solis  43:07  
You know, don't even want, there is way too much for me. And so while we also talked in earlier episodes about being hit by limitations, disabilities and things like that, and we've revisited that a few times in in this particular segment. And coming to the end of this particular, you know, series focus is that we've both been hit by that. That's why we're sitting here sharing. We've both been hit with disabilities, limitations, that it's taken me years to adjust to that. What would you say for yourself? 

Brenda Rachel  43:46  
Yeah, well, for myself, I still I just accept. I'm just in a place of acceptance. 

Vonne Solis  43:51  
Yeah.

Brenda Rachel  43:51  
When things are not going right in my body, and I just go okay, well, today, it's you know, I don't get upset. I don't fight the process. It's just I was going to say the analogy that I have, cause I love analogies. And the angels give them to me all the time, is thoughts are either positive or negative. So imagine you have a magnet and whatever you put out there. Whatever thought it is, if it's a negative thought, it's just going to boomerang back to the magnet. And just keep boomeranging, boom, you know, until whatever. And the only way that you're ever going to make room for a positive thought to come in is clean the magnet off and have it all be wet, so nothing can stick to it any longer. And so in our thoughts when we just say to ourself, thoughts, we're the ones that have to say no more. I don't want to attract any more thoughts like this that are going to keep sticking to my magnet in my brain. And you know, that I can't let go of, because the only person that it's harming is me. It's not harming another, well it might be harming another individual. But I'm just saying the person that it will harm the most is myself. And yet, I am the one that's creating it. And I am the one that can stop it. 

Vonne Solis  45:15  
Right.

Brenda Rachel  45:15  
So, you know. 

Vonne Solis  45:17  
So I will just, you know, sum up and acknowledge that you came when you were hit with disabilities from a life devoted to outdoors, rafting, hiking, walking, you know, enjoying all that kind of stuff. And I didn't come from that. But in other ways, it that's sort of the same as me going well, I want to really be on the stage and talking and motivating people and I have been on stages. And I have done that in bits and blurbs in my life. But as a steady like career? You know, here I am, like, you know, 2023 going into 2024 soon and I just don't want that commitment. I don't, I don't want to have to be running around. Even if I really wanted to jump on planes and always be going to different cities and chilling, you know, conference rooms and stuff and motivating, yay motivating people. It's like, whoa! I'm tired just thinking about it. 

So you and I, you and I talk a lot about, you know, like the things that we used to do, even maybe a couple of years or a year ago. And just going yeah, I'm kind of done with that. And it isn't about age. It is all about where we find ourselves physically. And, you know, in our capacity to function maybe for me, at the the same rate, my brain feeds me information. And so I've had to take time to learn to sort of process what my brain is telling me. Oh, you could do this, you could do this, you could do this. And then I have to just sort of wait a minute and digest it. Think and go, Okay, no, I need to either modify it, or I need to let that go all together. 

Brenda Rachel  47:06  
Exactly.

Vonne Solis  47:07  
And we have had, again, former discussions in earlier episodes about this idea, this notion when you have a spiritual practice, and when you're in tune with all this wonderful divine stuff that speaks of perfection and wholeness. And then in the human body, when you're actually not that way, and how to respect and honour the humanness of who we are, along with the wholeness and perfection of the spiritual self. And merge that however, we can merge that and be okay with it. Just be okay if we're not perfect in human form, it's okay. Still see yourself as perfect and strong when you look in the mirror, and look past, what the physical limitations and blocks appear to be to you, and love that inner being of who you really are, which you can actually see through your eyes by the way. Don't be looking at body parts. Look at your eyes. 

And a practice that I had developed long ago and have again, talked with some guests about is that is to tell yourself, you love yourself by name. So when you are looking in the mirror, and you make a habit and a practice of looking straight in your eyes in your reflection, and you tell yourself, I really love you. And in my case, it would be I really love you, Vonne. Thank you for bearing what you have borne in this body. You did a great job. I really, really love you, your name. And it is a very powerful way to start a) opening up that little sliver of an opening that you need for the little light to get in and all the positive things that are going to follow. And also to really start believing that you love yourself. Because more often than not when you do that mirror exercise, and again, it's very important to add your name to personalize it, you don't necessarily really believe that. Doesn't matter. Keep saying it enough until one day you really do believe it. And you really can feel the compassion and empathy and Divinity of who you really are for yourself and really appreciate what you really have borne in this life. Particularly the more difficult it has been. 

Brenda Rachel  49:41  
Very powerful. 

Vonne Solis  49:43  
Yeah, thanks angels! Had to say that. Did you want to add to that? 

Brenda Rachel  49:47  
Yeah, I just got one other little thing. So we live in a human condition. And so when we can allow our human condition to evolve from spiritual conditioning, I think that it will be a very transformative process. And that we will evolve into open and receptive human beings, who are consciously aware that the co-creation we have with Spirit is what we came here to do. And our gifts will evolve from that purpose. 

Vonne Solis  50:26  
Yeah, so beautifully said as well. All of that just to say, we are here to encourage you. Inspire you, and share that our journeys have been filled with ups and downs, coming from the dysfunction that we came from. And it would have been extremely easy for both of us to turn out into people that were, God, life was hard and blame, you know,

Brenda Rachel  50:56  
Everybody, everything.

Vonne Solis  50:57  
Our family dysfunction, and, you know, which was a parent attempting suicide numerous times when we were children, and then just things not being, you know, dealt with, properly, you know, due to a whole bunch of, you know, factors in the 60s, and stigma. We went through a lot of that as children. And it was really interesting. So growing up, and that's what this whole series has been about is how both Brenda and I came to the, the, I guess, I won't, choice is probably the word I'm looking for, to not let that impact how we were going to live our life. And how, ultimately, our life, our lives unfolded to embrace everything we have talked about throughout this series. In our books. For me on the podcast, and in my coaching, and as Angel Healing practitioners in every way that we function and live our lives. 

So, you know, I think that in closing, I don't have a whole lot more to add, except divine timing, we did want to talk about that just a little bit. And it is just so important, when you do start to embrace and then allow everything we've talked about and everything else that you'll you know, welcome into your life through other teachers, coaches, resources, books, knowledge, etc. Wisdom that just comes to you, with your own channel being open, and apply that. Make it make it a, a practice, you know that you are going to live this way. Make it a lifestyle, right, that just, it becomes just who you are. You can't separate that spiritual component. That spiritual practice from who you are. It doesn't mean that everyone around you has to be in the same spiritual space. In fact, likely they won't, and it will present its own frustrations guaranteed. But maybe that's what gives us sort of the balance. And because, you know, living in that world, and only in that world all the time is also not healthy for us. We do have to come back down to earth and, you know, touch base with the human part of us. And so that will come to you in the way it needs to. 

But for you whether you are again, just expanding your consciousness. You're already at the top of your spiritual game. You're just enjoying these conversations because they're two sisters who come from very different experiences wanting to, you know, reconnect in our later years and really respect those differences. And understand that, as blood sisters, we are also very much soul sisters. 

Brenda Rachel  53:45  
Exactly. 

Vonne Solis  53:45  
And couldn't wait to start recording this series, which we planned seven years ago. Seven years ago.  Took us seven years to do it. But you know, you need the platform. So hey. So it's it's just really everything is in divine timing and best to get out of our own way and let things happen as they're going to happen. And meantime, go busy your life with other wonderful things while that request is out there. And it will happen when we're ready to receive it.

Brenda Rachel  54:20  
Absolutely. 

Vonne Solis  54:21  
Would you say?

Brenda Rachel  54:21  
I would absolutely agree. 

Vonne Solis  54:23  
Yeah. And I will say one of the things we got in one of the trainings we did was, you know, when you put your request in for wanting something. So starting with a will to want and be more. An acceptance that you have the power within to create the life that you want. A commitment to a practice and to you know, and have the discipline to embrace the tools, the resources, the people, the experiences that are going to help you with that growth. Many which will come through lessons. If you've already been through a ton of lessons. A ton of crap. A ton of things that has been, you know, driving you to be in the "poor me" modality to rethink them. And thank yourself for all you have been through and see what the lessons are for you in reviewing some of those bigger experiences that have been painful. And, and where you need to work with therapists and so on, please do. Please seek medical intervention where you need that if something comes at you, because we all do that. I've been to therapy many years of my life, and you know, we get medical intervention as and when we need it. So please do that for yourself as well. Especially if you're going to attempt to revisit trauma and stuff like that. Everything we're sharing with you is just sharing our personal experience. This is not medical advice, not that we gave that. This is not telling you how to live your life. This is just saying, Hey, we did this. It's just talking and motivating, coaching each other through things that we have been through and may feel challenged by currently. Which not a lot, but we still, you know, we still have our little things.

Brenda Rachel  56:12  
We need to discuss with each other and get some feedback.

Vonne Solis  56:15  
Yeah, and kinda like this sucks. And, you know, I deal with, you know, I wouldn't say rudderless. But I would definitely say a little bit of difficulty envisioning my own future, and just not really knowing what I want. And I really personally think a lot of that comes from just the rebuilding I've been doing. And I've been rebuilding sort of in stages and cycles over the last 18 years. And I let it be a little bit of fun, and I just kind of go Hmmm. And so I'm practicing bringing joy into my life on a daily basis. Embracing one or more joy's everyday. Things that really made me smile and just be so happy within. And that is having a profound effect on changing the overall daily experience of really enjoying my life for me. And which has been a bit of a struggle to arrive at that point, because of the bereavement. 

And it's very different wanting to be joyful for yourself, as opposed to just wanting to be joyful for other people. Your family, your spouse, your partner, your children. You know, whoever it is. When you own up for yourself? It's you taking responsibility for how happy you want to be. 

Brenda Rachel  57:28  
Absolutely.

Vonne Solis  57:30  
Right? You have to take responsibility equally for how much joy you want to experience in this life and goodness, as you do for the pain and suffering you currently may be experiencing. Have experienced and wanna toss it and like nope, not for me. Right?

Brenda Rachel  57:48  
Each thought weighs the same amount. 

Vonne Solis  57:50  
Oh my gosh. I'm writing that down. Break.

So I do want to thank you for joining us on any of the episodes or all of the episodes that you have tuned into either by audio or video on YouTube. Really, I hope that what we've covered in this Soul Sisters series has impacted you in some way. So is there anything else that you want to add? We are definitely closing this series topic out as mentioned. And yeah, anything you want to add?

Brenda Rachel  58:25  
No, I think that it's been a wonderful, wonderful time sharing with you. 

Vonne Solis  58:29  
Yeah.

Brenda Rachel  58:29  
And I just really really enjoyed this.

Vonne Solis  58:32  
Right. Can't promise you we won't tuck in another episode in the Soul Sisters playlist. But really, it has been amazing for for both of us. Same. 

Brenda Rachel  58:44  
A really, really enlightening journey for me. 

Vonne Solis  58:46  
Yeah.

Brenda Rachel  58:47  
To share this experience with you.

Vonne Solis  58:49  
Right, because we're, I think we've learned a little bit about each other. 

Brenda Rachel  58:51  
Yes. 

Vonne Solis  58:52  
And as we've said many times, we've left this as a legacy for each other as well. And are really happy to have been able to include you in this legacy. Along with us for this ride of our life. 

Brenda Rachel  59:06  
Exactly, exactly. 

Vonne Solis  59:08  
Anyway, I love you sis.

Brenda Rachel  59:09  
I love you too, dear.

Vonne Solis  59:11  
So, thanks again for tuning in. Together, we are the Soul Sisters!

Brenda Rachel  59:19  
Love you honey.

Vonne Solis  59:20  
Mwah! And I wouldn't have chosen another one if I had the chance. 

Brenda Rachel  59:24  
Oh me either.

Vonne Solis  59:25  
 Thanks for being my sis. 

Brenda Rachel  59:26  
Oh, thank you too, sis. 

Vonne Solis  59:27  
Love you guys.

Brenda Rachel  59:28  
Love you.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai