Grief Talk w/ Vonne Solis
As an Author, Angel Healing Practitioner and bereaved mom since 2005, through guest interviews and coaching, I share great content that is informative, inspiring and practical to help anyone who has suffered a loss, or other adversity, manage grief and heal. Topics focus on loss, grief advocacy, grief support, healing, personal growth and consciousness expansion for holistic wellbeing.
Grief Talk w/ Vonne Solis
Ep. 68 How Did We Get Here? Every Thought We Think Creates Something!
Welcome to Soul Sisters! A 9-part series on the Grief Talk Podcast, where with my real-life sister Brenda, we offer thought-driven and inspiring topics for your soul!
Coming from totally opposite experiences and wildly different personalities, as Authors and Angel Healing Practitioners, in every episode enjoy our robust conversation where we share how we survived extreme childhood trauma, the suicide of Vonne’s daughter in July 2005 and multiple disabilities that Brenda endured after a Fibromyalgia diagnosis in 1994. Events that challenged the will of both sisters to live.
In Part 1, we share how the church influenced our lives, and how our introduction to spirituality guided us to withstand the tragedy and disabilities that we would ultimately triumph over, to celebrate and honour our lives today with joy, peace and love in our hearts.
This series is for anyone who is struggling and wants to enhance their life through a deeper connection to your Soul!
TIMESTAMP:
Spirituality, sisterhood, and personal growth. (0:00)
Spiritual awakening and religious upbringing. (5:09)
Spirituality, memories, and personal growth. (10:33)
Spirituality, church, and personal growth. (15:16)
Religion, spirituality, and personal growth. (19:50)
Spirituality, church, and personal growth. (24:45)
Manifesting, tithing, and church politics. (30:11)
Manifesting, trust, and deserve. (36:24)
Trust, healing, and creating one's reality. (42:01)
Connect with Brenda:
https://www.brendarachel4angels.com/
Get Brenda's book "Broken Spirit, Awakened Soul, My Journey of Healing with the Angels"
https://www.amazon.com/BROKEN-SPIRIT-AWAKENED-SOUL-Journey-ebook/dp/B0CBD3QLW8/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=Brenda+Rachel+Broken+Spirit&qid=1701376272&sr=8-1
Connect with Vonne:
https://vonnesolis.com/
Get Vonne's books:
https://vonnesolis.com/vonne-solis-books/
"Lessons in Surviving Suicide – A Letter to My Daughter"
"Divine Healing Transforming Pain into Personal Power – A Guide to Heal Pain From Child Loss, Suicide and Other Grief"
"The Power of Change"
Want Coaching? Book your Pre-Coaching Zoom call with Vonne at the below link to find out more:
https://calendly.com/vonnesolis/one-on-one-coaching-with-vonne-solis
Subscribe to the podcast! Share your favourite episodes! Connect with Vonne on LinkedIn and Facebook.
Vonne Solis 00:00
Welcome to the Soul Sisters series where you'll get thought driven inspiring topics for your soul. With Vonne Solis, and Brenda, Rachel. I want to welcome you to this several part series. And one of the reasons that Brenda and I are doing this is because we both live on Vancouver Island and we are in fact blood sisters as well as soul sisters. And from the moment we started living side by side, and we literally live side by side. Brenda lives in the condo building next door to us on Vancouver Island in central Vancouver Island. And in this series, when we first came to the island, and we sat on the beach. Remember when we were sitting at Pipers? And
Brenda Rachel 00:50
Yes.
Vonne Solis 00:50
We would just get into these conversations, right? That they were like really like, wow, we should have recorded that.
Brenda Rachel 00:57
Exactly, exactly.
Vonne Solis 00:58
And there's no end to us doing that. We are constantly going we should be recording that.
Brenda Rachel 01:04
You're right.
Vonne Solis 01:05
So once I started the podcast, Grief Talk podcast, July 2022, I decided to reserve a special part of it just to Soul Sisters where we could come together and share with you a whole bunch of stuff. Not least thought-led, inspiring, practical tips, wisdom. What we've learned. We're both from the 50s decade. We are three years and eight months apart. And a lot of people say, who's older? I could let you guess, but I'm the baby sister.
Brenda Rachel 01:46
She is. She's my babe.
Vonne Solis 01:49
And Brenda is the oldest of four children. We have a lot of fun together. But one of the reasons we also wanted to do this to share with you, leave a legacy for each other, depending who goes first. And we always talk about that. But it is to understand that for people out there if you are sisters, and you have nothing in common and you might not even be speaking to your sister, okay? You might not even think you love your sister. And I guess this could apply to having a brother too. I'm not really sure. But right now we're focused on soul sisters. And even if you do have a fantastic relationship with your sister, we're showing you how you can come from diversity, adversity, and completely different paths and Brenda and I have actually ended up in a very similar spot in our lives in our mid and late 60s. We are both authors. We're both Angel healing practitioners. And we are definitely very committed to a spiritually led life. So in all of these series, we're going to be covering a whole range of topics. Not least coming from dysfunction. How different things in our life, church, spiritual principles. Our experiences, both dysfunctional and very positive have led us to choose to have would you say like the best life we can live, right?
Brenda Rachel 03:26
Absolutely. I would say that the best life that I'm living is right now.
Vonne Solis 03:30
Yeah.
Brenda Rachel 03:31
That I'm that I've ever had.
Vonne Solis 03:32
And not to spoil it, really. But you know, I am a bereaved mom of my daughter who, who committed suicide in 2005. I will use the word committed. Because it is a fact. It is still a crime in Canada to take your life. So I'm going to call it like it is instead of skirt around the issue. And I do have a living son, who's 31. Brenda, on the other hand, you well, you don't have kids.
Brenda Rachel 04:00
No. I don't have kids. And the other thing that we want to share with you as we move into these episodes is how different we are. We agree we're well polar opposites. Opposite spectrum for being sisters. If anything if I like something she doesn't. If she likes something, I don't.
Vonne Solis 04:19
Yeah. So basically, if we buy each other something we have to do it, do I hate it enough to give it to her? Sure enough, in almost I would say I would say 95%
Brenda Rachel 04:33
Yeah
Vonne Solis 04:34
we have different tastes.
Brenda Rachel 04:36
Yes.
Vonne Solis 04:36
Yeah.
Brenda Rachel 04:37
I would agree.
Vonne Solis 04:37
Yeah. So so what I'm trying to say is we're different in every single way. But we are soul sisters. Let's get to it. So welcome to part one. So today sis, I just really wanted to talk a little bit, but I mentioned that you know that we have both lead a really, a life really committed to a spiritual practice.
Brenda Rachel 04:38
Right. I would agree.
Vonne Solis 05:09
At whatever age it came to us. For me it was when I was 25. And for you, well what age would you say that you
Brenda Rachel 05:17
Oh, at five at five.
Vonne Solis 05:19
Okay. And so for me, I do remember you know, sort of phrases like expanded consciousness. For me, it was like I could not any longer sort of be imprisoned by just human restrictions, thoughts, beliefs, but I didn't really understand it in that way at that at that moment. And so for me, quite frankly, it was when I was pregnant. Six months pregnant, for anybody out there who's going through this or has gone through it, and it's really, really scary and you don't know if your child is going to make it. Your your fetus is going to make it. And I had only gained four pounds. And that was so scary for me. And I went for an ultrasound and all this and you know, she was okay and everything. But that's what led me to go to Unity. And I knew somebody who was going to unity, her auntie on the other side, who's also passed now, but um, but she was, you know, June was a huge presence in the Unity Church and quite a presence in our life, too.
Brenda Rachel 06:28
Yes, she was.
Vonne Solis 06:29
And she passed in 2017. And so anyway, she introduced me to Unity in Vancouver, and I remember sitting in that service bawling my eyes out. Because I think, just, I have no other way to say it. But I think God was just within me and just comforting me and letting me know everything was going to be okay. Because it was a very difficult time in my life. And yeah, I was actually separating from her dad. And it was a very lonely and very scary time. And I had to leave Vancouver and all those things were going on for me at that time. So it was a very comforting presence. And I don't know, I'll ask you your moment. But so for me, when we sob like that? If you're ever if you've ever found yourself in a situation where you sob your guts out, because you have had a moment of truth? For me, that was an awakening. An awakening can be something else for you, but it's when you are really overtaken by an emotion, because that's the only way we really can express ourselves right? When these powerful transformations take place. And, and how that leaves you. And it left me changed. And from there, you know, of course, I moved to Edmonton. Went lived with mom. Had a wonderful baby girl three months later, and all of that stuff, and I've never looked back. So what was it like for you?
Brenda Rachel 07:55
Okay, well, I, on the other hand, like we were raised in a Christian home and going to a Baptist church, and I embraced the church from the age of five. And I was always doing something in the church. Like I taught Sunday school, I sang in the choir. And I was in girls'organizations. CGIT and Explorers, the other way around. And so always a youth group, and things like that. So all throughout my adult life, there was never a point I wasn't going to some kind of church. That that evolved into going to a different, different types of church as I, as my consciousness expanded, without me knowing that it was expanding, and that I was just choosing that or being led to go to different churches. Like I went from a totally you know, a Baptist church. Was a very strict dogma. To my next church was a non-denominational group of people that met in a hotel ballroom. That, so there was no church.
Vonne Solis 09:11
So from a really young age, then you tapped into it way earlier than me. I don't even remember being five, of course, but I do have a little story to share when I was like 12. And we lived in a small town folks about an hour from Vancouver, in an area called the Fraser Valley for those of you who are not familiar with British Columbia. And so you remember Billy Graham?
Brenda Rachel 09:33
Yes.
Vonne Solis 09:34
The evangelist. Baptist minister. He came from a Southern Baptist ministry background.
Brenda Rachel 09:39
Oh, okay.
Vonne Solis 09:40
So anyway, one day when I was 12 years old, right? So Billy Graham comes to this coliseum that we have in Chilliwack. And you know, he and don't even ask me at 12 why would have done that with a girlfriend. And I don't remember which friend I went with, but I did go and he you know, you know, did his sermon and so on. And then he called those who felt, it wasn't that we were being baptized. But it was almost like for those of you who feel a calling to be of service to God, something like that. So I went up. I actually had Billy Graham, touch me. Annoint me. Whatever he did. And so what was really weird about that was I's like, I'm a kid, I'm by myself. And I don't even remember if other kids were doing that. Going up on stage. But if you really think about the courage it took
Brenda Rachel 10:35
Yes
Vonne Solis 10:35
to do that?
Brenda Rachel 10:36
In a big Coliseum?
Vonne Solis 10:37
Yes, yes. And I didn't even know why. I didn't know why. But when I, when I think about it today, I think that that was my first real calling to my eventual purpose work that would be spiritual based. It didn't know what it would be, of course, and I had no idea. But I do believe and I'm going to ask you about this sis, if you believe that at various points in our life, we can touch, tap into our incarnation. Certain points of our incarnation, even though we don't understand what we're tapping into.
Brenda Rachel 10:41
Yeah. Absolutely.
Vonne Solis 11:20
Which I also believe is kind of deja vu.
Brenda Rachel 11:22
Yes, absolutely. I think anytime for me, that I've had a real, almost feeling of being propelled to do something, whether it's to read something, or to go to a church, or to attend a service or to take a course. I'm of courseaholic. I took many, many, many self-development courses, trying to always find what I could do to make myself a better person. And I think when you have that nudge, although it was never a nudge for me. It was always like just that kind of just like you knew you had to go down to the center of the auditorium.
Vonne Solis 12:07
Yeah.
Brenda Rachel 12:07
Coliseum and be there.
Vonne Solis 12:09
Yeah.
Brenda Rachel 12:09
It's that same kind of drive.
Vonne Solis 12:11
Yeah. You just, you have to do it.
Brenda Rachel 12:13
You have to do it.
Vonne Solis 12:14
Yeah.
Brenda Rachel 12:14
No rhyme or reason.
Vonne Solis 12:15
Yeah. Just have to do it.
Brenda Rachel 12:16
Don't question it. Don't don't sit there and go, well what's this about? Or? what am I, why am I doing?
Vonne Solis 12:22
Yeah, exactly. Okay
Brenda Rachel 12:23
Just go for it. Yeah. Okay.
Vonne Solis 12:25
Also, I want to say, in my experience, another thing that has stuck with me. So I just want to add to what you said. So it's that it's that knowingness at various ages, where you go, Why'd I do that? Whatever. But there's also I think, I'm just gonna ask you what you think about this, those things that we do in our life that are memories, they are like, memories ingrained on our soul almost. So the Billy Graham one is for sure. It's not that I think about it all the time. But it's very vivid for me. The impact of it. I wouldn't, I couldn't tell you what I was wearing or anything like that. But I can tell you the impact of you know, going on that stage. But the other thing that happened is fast forward another let's see, I was 12. So 25. When I was 25. And I had to move and so that back to that experience, like of going to Unity Church when I'm 25. So now Unity is like another huge thing in my life, where it's impacting me and I'm crying my eyes out in the whole service. And another huge connection, I think, to what this incarnation was going to represent for me. And when I moved to Edmonton, the other thing that stuck with me is, as I started this transition to expanding my consciousness about thought and just thinking things, I was reading the book Atlas Shrugged. And I'm not sure. Ayn Rand wrote wrote that book. Hers her, her name is a y n, Ayn Rand. And, again, I was looking at up yesterday because the impact of that book, even though today, I was like, What was that about again? I can tell you, that it really impacted me and gave me permission to think beyond my, you know, just my small little human, you know, mind by myself as an isolated individual in my experiences. And so I looked it up yesterday, and I thought, what, what did what did Atlas Shrugged stand for? And I'll read it here because I actually wrote it down. And it said that Ayn's philosophy was all about in objectivism. And really understanding the fact that we have to discover reality for ourselves and learn how to exist and act successfully within that reality. She also had a philosophy about the mind. To sort of paraphrase that the mind is what we allow and choose it to be within that reality that we define for ourselves. And somehow, again, that just kind of was a lightbulb moment. And I loved that book. And I've never read that book again. But that was all occurring as I was preparing to become a mother, for example. So in talking about this little segment, I just want to set it up as, as sisters, we both came from different experiences. But what I want to stay say is that at the core of it, and of course, you can add to this, if you want, at the core of it for me, was this undercurrent of a spiritual connection. I wouldn't say a connection yet necessarily to my soul, but certainly a spiritual connection, even though I may not have understood it. And so I sort of framed it in church. A Christian experience. Because we were raised Baptist until, you know, we quit going to church, which for me, was pretty early. And Brenda was I would say, a remarkable leader. And I spent my donation money on candy before I got to my Explorers meeting. That tells you how different we might be? I remember that? What did you call that when you had to donate? When you had to bring your money anyway, 10 bucks, a buck, 50 cents, whatever it was at the time? This would be in the maybe late 60s, and I always went to the store and bought candy.
Brenda Rachel 16:34
I donated it. It was a collection and mine went in the collection.
Vonne Solis 16:39
Okay. So I want to talk a little bit about church. And, and so moving it a little bit into this, this thing I've couched as the church because that's sort of the institution that allows us to feel spiritual. I mean, I'm just largely paraphrasing here, right, for for me. But you were mentioning earlier how you know, you started with the Baptist. Then you went on to different churches. But what I would just want to sort of get at here is through your life, church was important.
Brenda Rachel 17:13
Yes.
Vonne Solis 17:13
What did church, I know you went to non-denominational and as you went to church, and as you got older, you you know, your expand your consciousness expanded and expanded and expanded. But even from a really super young age, what did church, remembering that we came from a major dysfunction, which we'll talk about a little bit in later episodes. But what did church represent for you in looking back if you can connect to that?
Brenda Rachel 17:42
Well, I think for me, it was like I became a Christian, and gave my life to Jesus, with my mom, in the basement of our house, praying against her trunk of clothes that were huge, large trunk in the basement. And I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. And I think the principal for me, so I understood at age five, what I was doing, and that I wanted to do this. And I wanted to devote my life to walking as best as I could as. I didn't don't really think I understood like being a Christian, but I loved what Jesus stood for. Which was love. And just, that was like paramount for me. I understood that. So I just really felt that all things could be achieved if I carried this love in my heart that I felt Jesus had for me.
Vonne Solis 18:46
Cool. So you you did that trunk? Praying, praying over the trunk with mom when you were like five?
Brenda Rachel 18:51
Well, yeah, at the trunk. Not over the trunk. But yeah.
Vonne Solis 18:55
Okay, at the trunk. So for some reason, I'm just gonna say Mom had this blue metal trunk.
Brenda Rachel 19:05
It was like a big travelling trunk.
Vonne Solis 19:07
Yeah.
Brenda Rachel 19:07
You kept, stored clothes in to you know, when you changed them over from season to season and her wedding dress was in it.
Vonne Solis 19:14
Yeah I'm just gonna say I think her wedding dress was in there. And by the way I got married in her wedding dress.
Brenda Rachel 19:18
Yeah.
Vonne Solis 19:18
I don't know what that trunk represented. But if you've ever watched an old movie, and they'll show you from a different era, like maybe the 40s or something? This trunk. And maybe what it really represented and was sort of symbolic of for me was Mom, I think carted that trunk with her certainly in certain years. Like she brought that to her marriage and oh,
Brenda Rachel 19:41
yeah, yeah,
Vonne Solis 19:41
that had that was her trunk.
Brenda Rachel 19:44
That stayed in the house until I guess she left the house when she divorced Dad and I don't what happened to her trunk then.
Vonne Solis 19:50
Yeah, really cool. Anyway, so church was a foundational piece in our home growing up. And actually looking kind of looking back at that? It sort of makes sense that it was. Our father actually came from a Mennonite background that he rejected. And married our mom, who was the least typical of that type of culture. Right?
Brenda Rachel 20:20
Absolutely.
Vonne Solis 20:21
So it was pretty interesting that she was this super liberal person, artist, musician. She was gorgeous. And obviously, the marriage did not last. It did not work. Because I believe kind of what's ingrained and instilled with us as children? I think there's a part of us, that part of that, that never really goes away. And for Dad, that would have been rigid, strict. Sinning, you know, was a big thing, right? Can't do this. Can't do that. Can't can't wear makeup. Can't drink. Can't listen to music. Can't dance. He came from that kind of environment and mom was all those things. And all I'm gonna say is it added to the dysfunction at this point. That's all I'm gonna say. So for me the Unity had principles of, you know, peace, love harmony, and well, unity.
Brenda Rachel 21:13
Yeah.
Vonne Solis 21:14
And so with these principles of peace, love, harmony and unity, would you say that they have impacted, you know, you or formed part of your foundation?
Brenda Rachel 21:25
Oh, yes, absolutely. I think where I started to become much broader in my thinking from kind of the religious I'm gonna say dogma that I was taught, because it's, it's strict. There's no, there's no forgiveness in the, in what they teach. There's no deviating off the path. You're either a sinner, or you're a good person.
Vonne Solis 21:52
Wait, so are you talking here Baptist?
Brenda Rachel 21:54
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All Christians are
Vonne Solis 21:55
Oh. fundamentally Baptists
Brenda Rachel 21:58
All Christian churches, Well, I can't say all. I haven't gone to them all.
Vonne Solis 22:03
Right.
Brenda Rachel 22:03
But any of them that that follow a specific set of rules. And there were definitely rules, which in most Christian churches, it's the Ten Commandments. And, but but within that, like, as my sister said, as Vonne said, you know, there was no dancing, no drinking, no, no movies. I remember, we never went to a movie. The only movie in our whole, my whole life, living at home, and I left at 17 was going and seeing Moses when Moses came out. And I couldn't even believe that we were allowed, we all went as a family to the theater. And, but anyways, fast forward, when I started to become involved with non-denominational, more spiritual churches, that weren't even called churches. They were just groups, it led for interpretation. And that there was not just what the minister was saying behind the pulpit was what you lived by. You lived your principles by what one person with his interpretation was saying on Sunday morning. And for me, I started to embrace the liberalism of having my own thought of what I was being taught, and what felt right for me. And what didn't feel right for me.
Vonne Solis 23:37
So yeah, so would you say, Science of Mind opened you up to that initially?
Brenda Rachel 23:41
Absolutely, absolutely. But Science of Mind, it's, it's definitely a spiritual church. But it's a different type of church in that we use the mind to create of our healing journeys, and use the principles of what they call a spiritual mind treatment, which is a five step treatment process that it's all, you just walk yourself. Very simple, to go through from what it is, the connectedness about. That I'm connected with the oneness of God. There is only one God, who I choose to call nature, spirit, whatever, whatever. There's lots of interpretations. So this was becoming more liberal now as to what I could reference as the Divine that I chose to follow. I didn't need to call it just God. I could call it anything that I wanted, and we could all call it anything that we wanted that sat right with our soul. And so many, many times I referred to God as all kinds of different things. Spirit nature, the Divine, oneness, etc. And so
Vonne Solis 25:06
But would you say that God, like, if you're in a heartbeat and just a real heartbeat, and you're going to do a prayer up and and Brenda and I are not like, fundamentally Christian or religious here. What we're trying to talk about here is coming from that background, it instilled some type of foundation. Structure maybe is a better word. And as we both went off and expanded our consciousness, but still choosing to have it within that sort of church type experience. Whether you choose to meet in a community or a real church, it that structure was very much instilled in us.
Brenda Rachel 25:48
Yes.
Vonne Solis 25:49
As children.
Brenda Rachel 25:50
Yeah. And I followed that through like, in my life, I've been to like, like I said, all the kinds of non-denominational nominational churches. But also, I was married in the Anglican Church, and I attended the Anglican Church faithfully for, I think, two years with my ex-husband because we as we chose to get married in a particular church that was in the woods. And so we just wanted to really become familiar with the church that we were going to get married in. And I also went to the Unity Church that was a church. And I went to Anglican, the Anglican church that was right near my office in downtown Vancouver. I would go there at lunch hour, and just go and sit in the pews and just look at all the candle arbors they had at the front and just get some peace just sitting in a church pew, when I needed some, some respite and stuff.
Vonne Solis 26:48
And then on the other hand, I've just been like, as Vonne was saying, just to meetings in people's homes for for different things. But I think the community of having another person myself and one other person, or, many people can, you can call it a church if you want. If you wanted to get, you know, all with the rules of the church that you're wanting to follow, or just having a nice spiritual meeting. So I think at the time that I chose to leave, quote, unquote, a church as well? When I think about it, though, Unity and also Science of Mind, like we were, they were called churches. Yeah, for sure they were called churches. So I think the the interesting thing, I just wanted to point out that you were part, belonged to Baha'i community for a while, too.
Brenda Rachel 27:39
I did.
Vonne Solis 27:39
And we're not going to go deep in the woods with any of this stuff but what I am seeing is that, from what I got from your book, was that, you know, you talk about being present and appreciating the beauty around us. Live life with compassion and kindness for I'm gonna say ourselves and each other for sure. But what's really interesting is, when you when you go, it's like what you're saying, like you choose to have a community that is that that you can grow with, as you yourself grow in your consciousness, and even with your experiences. Because sometimes tough experiences can definitely bring you, tough experiences that bring you to your knees can bring you to also church or a spiritual life and practice.
Brenda Rachel 28:26
Yeah, absolutely.
Vonne Solis 28:27
And
Brenda Rachel 28:28
Absolutely.
Vonne Solis 28:29
I would say, going back to what we talked about a little bit ago about being pregnant with my daughter, and only gained four pounds at six months pregnant and being terrified I wasn't going to have this little babe, I would definitely say that was a kind of falling to my knees. Not as much as when she took her life, eventually, 22 years after she was born. But certainly the the one thing that was like, I was going to be the best human and mom that I could be, and I tied those two things together. Right? So the the overall theme is that basically, I love what you said that when you originally found the place it was that allowed you to interpret the teachings
Brenda Rachel 29:20
Yes
Vonne Solis 29:21
for you
Brenda Rachel 29:22
for me yeah.
Vonne Solis 29:23
But these principles,
Brenda Rachel 29:24
and nobody made me wrong for having my interpretation. Like it wasn't you're a sinner because you're deviating from how you're being taught and you need to learn it this way.
Vonne Solis 29:36
Oh, yeah yeah yeah. And so I love that. Having the freedom to interpret but still guiding your life by what are very common principles and practices amongst many denominations, if you will, or even non-denominational churches.
Brenda Rachel 29:55
Yeah.
Vonne Solis 29:55
So all of that just to say church has been really important for Brenda and I.
Brenda Rachel 29:58
Yeah.
Vonne Solis 29:59
Okay. So we're gonna move now a little bit to manifesting and empowerment. And that moves nicely from the whole church thing and expanded consciousness because I took from Unity, the principles of unity in their entirety. Every time I went to a Sunday, I don't want to call it sermon, they certainly weren't sermons, but they, they felt more like inspiring
Brenda Rachel 30:26
Well just a service.
Vonne Solis 30:27
A service. I came away feeling very empowered. I never came away feeling I was wrong, or, you know, I always came away by ah, you know, this is so inspiring for me. So, manifesting became a huge part of that. I think I probably was in my 30s, when I really really took you know, and did the manifesting thing and looked at my relationship with money. Just a whole bunch of of things. I think I actually picked up A Course in Miracles, the book.
Brenda Rachel 30:57
Yep.
Vonne Solis 30:58
I actually spent several months, you know, sort of studying it. At the same time I was doing some kind, of course with Unity at the time. And I, I would have been late 30s, hitting 40 at that point. But here's the thing, like, I think I really always was consciously manifesting, from my mid 20s on. And setting intentions, and so on. But my practice changed. I still do it to this day, but here's, you know, here's the thing, I think that we can change our practice of how we intend, and, and what we bring into our life, based on our experiences. Where we're at, you know and the more cumulatively you have, and the more cumulative experiences you have and the trust level you have. And the more quite frankly, you see stuff working in your life. And Brenda and I both became Angel healing practitioners, and we're going to be talking about that in later episodes. But as I moved away from just A Course in Miracles, and you know, also, if you tithe, you will bring more into your life. I never bought that one. But you know, like service work, what you give out to the world, you get back tenfold. That's a principle of if not Unity, it's certainly a principle I heard quite frequently. And I will say, because I didn't really have a lot of money to tithe 10% of my net, I always felt a little bit like, ooh, well, maybe I won't quite get as much back financially in my life, you know. I could, I'll get back in tenfold, the exact items or service, I give out. And it took me quite a few years to break away from that consciousness. So I was aware of this exchange of energy, if you will. Service, money, you get it back tenfold. That's sort of how I was raised on that. But at the same time, I was seeing results in my life. And understanding that I was making the connection, I think in my sort of mid 20s to, you know, the next phase of the manifesting part of it maybe a decade later that I was seeing results. But it wasn't a dedicated conscious practice, like when the angels came into my life. So how was manifesting powerful for you?
Brenda Rachel 33:28
Well, I'm just as you're speaking, I didn't have really any kind of association with manifesting. I did about the tithing, and I never tithed because I just wasn't in a financial position. And I actually kind of abhorred that premise of needing people or having people feel that they didn't deserve or wouldn't get if they didn't tithe. That's what I got from it. In other words, if you don't put in the, in your envelope, 10% of whatever, either weekly, or monthly, or however you choose to do it, then your life is going to be short by not your how many years you live, but just things are going to be less available and won't come to you. Well, I never I just said well, then I'll have to live like that, because. And then I can't remember where I just totally disassociated with the tithing, in my mind having any correlation whatsoever with what I manifested.
Vonne Solis 34:21
Here's a question for you. You studied for a while to become a minister.
Brenda Rachel 34:49
Oh, yes.
Vonne Solis 34:49
In the Science of Mind church.
Brenda Rachel 34:50
Yes.
Vonne Solis 34:51
And eventually had to give it up and we'll probably touch on that again in later episodes. But what was the, at that time that you were studying to be a minister yourself, was it not true that you recognized a church was a business?
Brenda Rachel 35:11
Yes.
Vonne Solis 35:12
And so I'm just curious in, I don't want to attack Science of Mind, or any church. But at that time, would you as a person who eventually would have gained your own church, were they into tithing? Like requesting their congregation to tithe? Because ultimately, I believe, and this is a personal belief. No one attack me for it. That tithing is really just a form of fundraising to keep your your your basic administrative costs going
Brenda Rachel 35:40
Right.
Vonne Solis 35:40
And pay the salary of the minister. Because in some cases, ministers basically depend on the congregation for financial support.
Brenda Rachel 35:50
When I chose not to become, a minister was through my illness. I was very, very ill, and had to leave practitioner training class twice. But what I did understand at that time, was all the politics in the church.
Vonne Solis 36:05
Okay.
Brenda Rachel 36:06
There was a lot of politicking and knew that the church was a business. It's just like anything else, they have to pay their costs, the building, etc. And I just decided that's not the route I wanted to go to be to have a church.
Vonne Solis 36:24
Today, what do you think about manifesting?
Brenda Rachel 36:26
Nothing.
Vonne Solis 36:27
Oh, okay.
Brenda Rachel 36:28
I don't think about manifesting.
Vonne Solis 36:29
But if you want something do you consciously believe you can get
Brenda Rachel 36:32
Well, I just ask the angels.
Vonne Solis 36:34
Oh, you just ask the angels, okay. Alrighty. Well, I still consider it a bit of a manifestation process, even working with the angels. And even though we're not talking about angels today, guys, we will talk about that. But it does change, you're right, it does change the approach to it. Because when you, we ask the angels for something, that you're also working yourself with your mind to trust that you're going to get it.
Brenda Rachel 36:35
Yeah. I just know they're going to help me.
Vonne Solis 36:59
So for me, manifesting still is an important concept I teach in my coaching. One, because not everybody works with angels, and you know, can send the order up, and, you know, hey, I need this, and then just watch it, you know, sort of fall into your lap. And if it doesn't quite fall into your lap, I would say both you and I believe that it wasn't meant to be or it's not time.
Brenda Rachel 37:24
Right. Totally, totally.
Vonne Solis 37:27
So that is a very
Brenda Rachel 37:29
So I was just gonna say so that's totally for me different than manifesting as opposed to divine timing.
Vonne Solis 37:35
Correct. Just so putting the order up, allowing these forces, Brenda and I, it's definitely angels. For other people, it could just be The Universe. You'll hear things like that. But if you're new, what I want to just get across here is that again, I was just sort of bringing, tying this all together. Raised in a church where there is a power and people are praying to the God, you know, above to bring them. To deliver various things.
Brenda Rachel 38:06
Exactly. And and also, I think, in a traditional church, also, if the person didn't get it, then it was viewed by other members of the church, Well, they must have done something wrong that they didn't get it. Or, there's a an automatic judgment based around what the person didn't get. Because a lot of congregants will know, when somebody's struggling within the congregation, and they'll just see their life go on and on and on and, you know, the same way or get worse or whatever and go, well, they mustn't be a very good Christian.
Vonne Solis 38:44
They must have deserved it right?
Brenda Rachel 38:45
They must have deserved it.
Vonne Solis 38:46
Something like that. So the key point to bear in mind. So in bringing the consciousness that we both have done in various ways and through various you know, churches and you know, practices but basically not that different to where you all of a sudden go wait a minute, I'm I'm a spark of that force.
Brenda Rachel 39:07
Yes.
Vonne Solis 39:07
I'm a spark of Source and maybe I can and do deserve more. I have met people literally recently who believe you can't ask God for anything.
Brenda Rachel 39:19
Oh, my goodness.
Vonne Solis 39:20
You can't ask God for anything. You just take what God doles out.
Brenda Rachel 39:25
Oh my goodness.
Vonne Solis 39:27
Yeah. Well, okay. So we don't believe in that.
Brenda Rachel 39:30
No.
Vonne Solis 39:31
So we have progressed and come through our, our years in life. Our experiences. Our dedication to our spiritual practice in ways they're similar and ways they may be slightly different. But overall, the understanding that you know, for me anyway, it's that we have the power within us to create what we want.
Brenda Rachel 39:55
Right.
Vonne Solis 39:55
And deserve it.
Brenda Rachel 39:56
Exactly.
Vonne Solis 39:57
And celebrate it.
Brenda Rachel 39:58
Right.
Vonne Solis 39:59
Rather than hang on to all of these, in fact, I think undeservingness and judgment and all of that is tied very much up in all of our pains and struggles from the past, including right back to childhood. Okay, so moving on, I'm just going to introduce the concept of trust here really quickly. Because we're going to be coming back to it.
Brenda Rachel 40:22
Okay.
Vonne Solis 40:22
But I just want people to sort of understand, trust is a huge part of, of creating. Let's work with the word creating the life that we truly want to be living.
Brenda Rachel 40:35
Right.
Vonne Solis 40:36
And I think it's fair to say, you and I are both living the life we want to be living today.
Brenda Rachel 40:40
Exactly.
Vonne Solis 40:40
And have been for a few years, for sure. For sure, for sure. We both came to Vancouver Island seven years ago. And so it will be, you know, 19. No,
Brenda Rachel 40:52
2016
Vonne Solis 40:53
2016 that we came here. And have basically, I would say, I'll just say lived a charmed life.
Brenda Rachel 41:02
Yes.
Vonne Solis 41:02
I often tell people, I just feel like I've I've lived
Brenda Rachel 41:04
Best best life I've ever lived in my whole
Vonne Solis 41:07
Yeah
Brenda Rachel 41:07
whole years.
Vonne Solis 41:08
Yeah. And I've had a lot of wonderful things in my life. And I was actually speaking with someone the other day and, and saying, you know, I haven't had to go to bed at night worrying about anything. And it's, doesn't mean I sleep better. But it just means I don't worry about anything. And, you know, I felt a little bit guilty saying that because this person was going through some struggles. And then I said, you know, well, Wait a minute. I deserve this. So yay. And and that is another reason we are doing Soul Sisters, is because we are examples of what we both, you know, practice and teach and share it with others in our various ways. And it, the life works for us, and we and my entire family. We're very small family, but my entire family does live the same way. And no one has any complaints. And I'm owning that. I'm owning the celebration of that and the success of that. So one of the things that I got from recently reading your book, Broken Spirit, Awakened Soul, My Journey of Healing with the Angels. And as I did mention earlier, Brenda and I have authored five books between us. Myself, three and Brenda two and I'll have links to those books down below. And a lot of what we're talking about is is in our respective books, and how we teach and so on. But one of the things I got from your book sis, is when you say, and this does come from one of the steps. The step five of Science of Mind. The healing practice.
Brenda Rachel 42:49
The spiritual mind treatment?
Vonne Solis 42:50
Yeah, the spiritual mind treatment, thank you, is that the Creator, and I have to, quote, read this. The Creator does not require our input on how our desire is manifesting itself for us. And I totally love that. So, so this speaks to trust. And I don't want to get too deep in it, because as I said, we're going to be revisiting this. But I did just want to quickly ask you what you felt, or what you have done over the years? Because I think trust is a learned discipline.
Brenda Rachel 43:24
Absolutely.
Vonne Solis 43:26
It's a learned discipline.
Brenda Rachel 43:27
Yeah.
Vonne Solis 43:28
What would you say has been the one, maybe two things that you have really relied on to keep you coming back to trust when you get out of it?
Brenda Rachel 43:44
Well, I think number one would be my connection to the angels. That's number one, is I totally trust that when something's out of sync, I immediately and I'm really, really off balance. And I know immediately when I'm off balance, is I ask them to center me and to bring me back to that place where I just am going to be carried in their wings and know that I'm safe. It's all for me, it's usually something has happened to really rock my world that I don't feel safe in whatever capacity in that moment or, or longer. With health issues, I still have ongoing health issues, trusting that they will be there to show me each step of the way the doors will open. And I always always ask them to open the doors for my next step. So for me that is sort of the the key to trusting because I, I just believe. I just believe it with an absolute unequivocal unequivocalable, there's no doubt. There's absolutely no doubt in my mind that I will be directed to whichever door I need to go through that it will open up. So,
Vonne Solis 45:00
Yeah. I guess for me trust is more about, I think I just keep coming back to I'm kind of like you. I've sort of reached the point where I don't really not trust. And, but it has been a years long journey people. I just want to say that. It's not, it is something that we can have. And then something can happen in our lives. Like for you, it's, you know, illness stuff, like, you know, health stuff. For me, well it's actually health stuff, too. But it's whatever could come along and show you that see? Yeah. But I think I'm way past that. And so I would think I don't really have any trust issues anymore. I'm like you. We, we both just kind of put it out there. And
Brenda Rachel 45:51
I think we both just, if I speaking for us, that we both just accept that in that moment, that's the way that moment supposed to go. And that we know the moment is going to change and or for however long that moment lasts. And that, you know, there's the saying trust the process. Because life is a process. So to go from kind of being knocked off my rocker to getting back into stability, it's a process. And I always always know, there's a lesson of why I'm going through that. Nothing happens in my world, for me to not learn something from that experience.
Vonne Solis 46:36
Yeah. I think we'll have to come back to lessons because we don't have enough time to kind of talk about that all today. But I agree that there's a silver lining, and every problem, that's how I look at things or every challenge. And certainly, if you can get your lesson, you get to move on. Yay. Okay, so we're going to close off this, definitely, we're going to be closing off this Part One today. And I did just want to share with you that one of the founding principles. A fundamental principle that I live by is understanding that I am absolutely the creator of my experiences and that I can create what I desire in my life, no matter what's happened. And speaking as a bereaved mom, that's a pretty big statement. That's a pretty big statement for me. There might be other bereaved moms, parents out there that are way ahead of me. I'm 18 years into it. And when I lost Janaya in 2005, everything was stripped from me. So one of the first things I had to do was go back to, what is my foundation? Because the earth felt very shaky. I still remember walking and shaking like, you know, being very unsteady on my feet. Because the ground just did not feel like it could hold me.
Brenda Rachel 46:59
Yep.
Vonne Solis 47:01
So that is, I just wanted to close on that note is sort of what my founding fundamental principles are. And that is that, what I just said. I have the power within me to create what I want in this life and I do own my experiences. So I just want to ask if you want to share on a closing note, if you have something that's a very fundamental belief that you have, or practice or principle that you live by, that has guided you for, if not all of your life, probably all of your life, because it's our sole experience, right? Our soul is the incarnation. But that is has guided you and is continuing to guide you today?
Brenda Rachel 48:51
Well, I think that for sure for me is I create my own reality. But within that is every thought I think creates something.
Vonne Solis 49:00
Mmm. I love that.
Brenda Rachel 49:01
So when I look at what's happening in my world, because it's just my world. It's nobody else's, This world belongs to me. So whatever's happening in my immediate world I've created. But what, where did the creation start with? It started with my thoughts. So if I really take a moment to observe what got me to that place, whether it's complete joy, or peace, or total off my rocker, what was I thinking? And how can I change my thought in that moment?
Vonne Solis 49:02
I recently, I'm going to close this off in just one second here, but I did recently have an interview with somebody. And we were talking about where did the thought come from? I'll leave you with that. So all things are thoughts. Thoughts bring us our creations. Thoughts bring us everything we want. But hey, where'd the thought come from? Anyway, ready for a latte?
Brenda Rachel 50:05
I am. Love you sis.
Vonne Solis 50:07
Love you too. See you next time from the Soul Sisters!