Grief Talk w/ Vonne Solis
As an Author, Angel Healing Practitioner and bereaved mom since 2005, through guest interviews and coaching, I share great content that is informative, inspiring and practical to help anyone who has suffered a loss, or other adversity, manage grief and heal. Topics focus on loss, grief advocacy, grief support, healing, personal growth and consciousness expansion for holistic wellbeing.
Grief Talk w/ Vonne Solis
Ep. 40 Divine Healing Coaching – Soul Groups
In this episode from the Divine Healing coaching series, learn all about soul groups. Why we choose them and how they can benefit us.
This information can be fun to play around with or you can use it more seriously to make sense of your experiences and find your community to not feel so alone. Which can automatically happen when things occur in our life that make it hard for us to make sense of.
TIMESTAMP:
0:00 Welcome
0:12 Soul groups intro
0:47 Instant connection
3:38 Identifying soul group
6:09 A little story
8:49 Before we get here
9:30 Council in the After Life
12:37 Near death & life review
13:50 We are not alone
14:56 Soul group types
17:33 Why we choose soul groups
19:15 Trauma & suffering
21:23 Reclaiming pure love
24:06 Why we choose pain to learn
27:13 Resources
28:09 Closing
Connect with Vonne!
Website
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Books (by Vonne Solis)
“Lessons in Surviving Suicide – A Letter to My Daughter”
“Divine Healing Transforming Pain into Personal Power – A Guide to Heal Pain From Child Loss, Suicide and Other Grief”
“The Power of Change”
Blog, Course & Meditations
Online Course
Coaching Episode – Yes! We Choose Our Parents
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Vonne Solis 0:00
Welcome to another Grief Talk Coffee Chat episode. I'm your host, Vonne Solis.
0:12
Okay, so welcome to Divine Healing Coaching with Vonne Solis. This is the second coaching episode I'm doing from the Divine Healing coaching series. Today we're going to be talking about soul groups. Last coaching episode we talked about, Yes! We Do Choose Our Parents. So that episode goes into much more detail, obviously, about how we choose our parents and why we choose our parents. And so this episode, I'm following up with the idea of soul groups.
0:47
Now, I don't want you to take this overly seriously. It's just kind of a fun thing to think about. And beyond fun, it can actually be comforting to sort of know that you're not alone in whatever you think that you, or feel, or you really are going through. There are millions of people going through the same thing. If not, you know, slightly similar. I would wager the same. I've met enough people to know Yep, yeah, me too. Me too. Me too. How many times gave you said that in your life when you met someone that you know, you're just happened to even maybe have a casual conversation? I don't know, if you're the type of person that you can meet somebody in the grocery, you know, checkout line, or somewhere else. Just, I don't know, and you just impromptuly start a conversation. And before you know what you're saying, Yeah, me too. Me too. And they feel like a long lost friend that you've known forever. And I will wager, you have! Just maybe not in this physical existence.
1:59
So running into people, where you have an immediate connection. You feel like you know them. You feel like you have so much in common. You feel in some cases closer to them than your own siblings, you know, or other best friends. And in some cases, you actually can initiate and nurture and form a bond that remains life long. In other instances, it's just really, really a quick one off, and you never really forget the experience. You maybe learned something from it. They said something that you know, twigged like a light bulb moment for you. And you always remember them. And even if you don't remember them, they will have impacted your life in such a way that you can recall a moment you saw something. Met someone. Heard something someone said to someone else or said directly to you. You formed a feeling within you. It triggered something at a very deep soul level within you and you never saw them again. You know, something like that. This is very different than relationships that you form and you work through themes and roles and lessons. This is now talking about on a much larger macro scale, belonging to a group that shows you, you're not alone.
3:38
I'll give you a really quick example. So I am in a soul group that I identify as a bereaved parent. So child loss. Suicide is an absolute group for me because of my experiences that I've had. And probably a group of what I would call Light workers that encompass healing practitioners and so on. But my little story is such that I was 48 when I became bereaved. That was my very, very first experience with grief. So before that, of course, I didn't identify with a soul group that was bereaved parents. However, I was very familiar with the suicide group. Had been in my life from the time I was a young child and beyond that, I didn't really think too much about anything. I just, Yep, dysfunction. So okay, there could be a soul group for, you know, childhood dysfunction, but there's so much of it, I personally like to dig a little bit deeper and go, Well, within that dysfunction what was going on? In my case, it was the threat of a parent taking their life by suicide. My mom actually, repeatedly. And so by the age of 10, it was like, I didn't know if my mom was going to be alive, or basically dead. So that created a lot of trauma. I don't identify myself as part of a group that experiences trauma because I still believe that this is so impacting on so many levels and for so many different types of experiences and events that we go through in life. It just happens to be something that impacted me and developed into PTSD with the actual loss of my child in 2005, when she was 22.
5:26
But I could immediately, the minute my daughter took her life in the suicide, and it was like, Oh, my God. That is totally, totally a soul group for me. The child loss. So bereaved parent. Another huge soul group for me. But what am I going to do with this? What am I going to do with this pain and suffering? And then I immediately latched on to, Yeah, I've definitely been part of the Light worker, the group that came into the Incarnation wanting to make change, you know, for the planet and for our personal experience here in a way that expanded consciousness. So turning to a spiritual practice. Lots of metaphysics, and so on.
6:09
But back, just to my story for a moment. Before my daughter actually died, we were living in this neighbourhood. And I lived in British Columbia. And right now I'm in Vancouver Island, but at the time, I was living in the Okanagan. Which is the interior of BC. Anyway, we were living in this in this house on a corner. And there were lots of nice houses in the area. We came from sort of moderate finances, but there were a few very, very high-end, huge homes. And there was this one home that was about 8000 square feet. And it was pretty much made of all glass, and concrete. And, you know, went on lots of walks, and often I walked past this house. And it sat on a little bit of a hill overlooking this magnificent lake. And not long after we moved in, I saw this lady who always walked with her little dog, and she looked very forlorn. Very lonely. Sad. But I didn't really understand what all this was at the time, I only understood that she looked alone and lost and, and sad.
7:16
And I was going to speak to her, you know? But I never really did. She would always do her circuit and come by the front of our house. And she lived in that glass house. All alone, in this 8000 square foot, glass and concrete house. And I found out that she had lost her husband, just maybe a year or two earlier. He was hit riding his bicycle. He was hit by a car. And they had built this home as their dream home. Their forever dream home. And that stuck with me. That's the only part of the story I know. And I regretted when my daughter passed, that would have been about five years later, I regretted not talking to her. Not meeting her. But you see at the time as part of this bereavement, I'm not saying that she was part of my soul group because she was widowed. But what she was triggering in me was her grief and the bereavement. And even though I didn't understand it, when I became bereaved, I immediately felt connected to that. That lady that, her spirit, her soul, her energy. And had I been bereaved at that time, I would have befriended her. I would have recognized what I was feeling and I would have befriended her.
8:49
So getting back more general to soul group that was just to put it in a little bit of context. So before we get here, and we're in the other dimension, okay? We choose our life theme. Probably all of our lessons. I don't know this for a fact. I'm only going on what I've read. What my daughter has taught me, and what I intuitively feel. And then we choose our groups. And then we choose our parents. And then we choose all of our other relationships or agree to them. Now, you might sit here and go, hmmm. Yeah, don't think so. And that's okay.
9:30
But I will tell you briefly about an experience I had. My daughter started visiting me from the after life immediately within hours after she passed. And she stayed visiting me frequently in the first several years. And then after about a year, seven, eight, you know, the visits started to get a little bit less frequent. But today, if I need her, she'll show up for me. In one way or another, she will show up for me. And usually their astral visits, which are visits that feel like a dream state, but they are very impacting and very real, and you never forget them. Unlike a dream.
10:09
So anyway, in 2014, she came to me quite unexpectedly in an astral visit. And along with a message that she had for me at that time, she also said to me, and this is all telepathic, do you want to see the council? And I was very familiar with council for decades. Because any spiritual thought will speak about a council that kind of approves the Incarnation, if you will, You have to imagine this is all stuff going on in energy form, at a much higher vibration. It's not worldly. So you can't compare it. You have to experience it. And that's why I'm not trying to convince anybody. You just have to experience it. And there are millions of people who have experienced things that have to do with council. Some people have been shown the Akashic records. Things like that. I got a sneak peek at the council.
11:04
Anyway, my daughter says to me, again, telepathically, Do you want to see the council? And I was very overwhelmed. Yes, this was all astral. Yes, I was technically "sleeping". But I was very, very, very awake, if you will. You know, the mental, you know, acuity was there. And I said, Okay. And I briefly, it wasn't like she opened a door and I peeked in. It was just the next scene. And I saw what appeared to be beings. And in my comprehension, they appeared as male. Much older wise, beings sitting around a table, in exactly the way you could imagine the hierarchy of a patriarchal system that had the most sort of powerful beings sitting at the table making all the big decisions.
12:06
I'll go so far as to say other people may experience looking at a council or having an interaction with someone who's showing them the council or seeing it themselves in a near death experience, or something like that. It might look completely different to them. But that's how it appeared to me. And then as quick as we popped in there, we popped back out. It was almost like Janaya wasn't really supposed to be showing me that. But she wanted to show me that because her message had to do with something about her return to another physical incarnation.
12:37
So imagining that we and I'll just jump in here. If you've read anything on near death experience, a lot of this kind of information comes from people who have had a death experience and returned to their body. And there's countless books on near death now. And it is, I'm not talking about oh, I nearly died. No, I am talking about people who have literally literally been proclaimed deceased from the physical body. And they come back into the body after various periods of time. Usually just minutes. Some people longer. And for a while, after my daughter died, I got majorly into, you know, reading these types of books, because of course, I wanted to know where she had gone. What her experience was likely going to be like. Who she was with. You know, all of these things. And a lot of them do speak about, in fact, every one of them speaks about a life review. You get across. A transition, you got your life review. What did you actually learn from the incarnation? What do you want to come back and learn in another one? All right, now that you know but that's another topic entirely.
13:50
So having had this knowledge for many, many years, of course, I wanted to make my incarnation the most productive, and get the lessons that I designed for myself. And basically, transition feeling as complete as I can when I go. So part of understanding the soul group I'm with makes it feel like oh, so I'm completely not alone. This is the group I chose. You know? I'm not right at the moment digging into all the relationships, as I said, but this is the group I chose, and maybe I can find my people. Maybe I can find my tribe. If you do go through something that's really quite devastating or traumatic or in any other way it's impacting you where you are being offered an opportunity to learn from it, but you know, that's fantastic if you recognize it. But you may also want to find your tribe. Your collective. Your group. Whether it's just as a member, or in some cases as a leader of one. And that's what the soul group does for you.
14:56
So this could be related to as I said loss. It could be related to, I'm thinking here of the Me Too movement. Black Lives Matter. Any huge, you know, the Berlin Wall coming down in the 80s. There can be soul groups that form as a country. As a culture. As a race. As a gender. As a marginalized group. As a minority group. Both these groups making change in the area of rights. Civil rights, human rights, political rights. You know, you could go so far as to go a migrant, like a migrant soul group, you know? The list is endless. And we may even be able to belong to more than one group. I don't know about it, I'm just inviting you to think about, Hmm, do I even care about this? And if I do, What group do I belong to? What are my lessons in, you know, embodied in these certain themes that keep coming up for me? And why would this be? And the overarching answer is because you chose it. But you didn't choose to go it alone.
16:17
Again, I want to emphasize that a soul group is different than relationships that are, you know, showing us over and over and over again, that we all have kind of the same life experiences. I'm not talking about major events here like, like loss and other events, you know, that are horrific. I'm talking about experiences that we all have. Financial difficulties, relationship difficulties, any other lessons that, yeah, yeah, yeah. You meet everybody. And yeah, I've had that. Yeah, I've had that. Yeah, I've had that. The group comes in, where not everybody experiences it. And not everybody needs to experience it. So not everybody loses a child on this planet, okay? There's millions of people who do, but there's less that do than don't, and therefore it puts you into a group. So that's how to identify a group versus just shared life experiences that come from dysfunction and trauma and, and, you know, adversity in general.
17:33
So why do we do this? So I'll go so far as to say, and I'm not alone in this. There are other writers, authors that you know, and spiritual teachers that talk about this as well. That we choose our pain and suffering as part of a soul group. Whether or not we recognize it that's up to us to basically decide or experience. But we choose the lessons from the pain and suffering and adversity within a certain, you know, theme story, arch, to basically find the peace, the joy, the happiness that I believe is our innate state.
18:24
I have met many people, discussed with them. Read over the decades. And no one says that we come here, as babes, a mixed up mumbo jumbo of nerves and negativity and depression and trauma and all that. We come here as pure, pure beings. And for anyone that's witnessed a newborn, whether you've birthed a newborn yourself, or witnessed a newborn, or you've gone and visited someone who's just had a newborn, there's nothing like it, to help us tap into love in its most pure, unconditional form. The lessons come as we get older.
19:15
What I will just say, as an add on to that, we could go so far as to entertain the idea that for the babes that suffer because I can hear people go yep, but what about the babies that, you know, go through horrific abuse, or you know, or murdered, or you know, a lot of things do happen to babies and young children and older children. And I'm recognizing that. That is a topic. It is a very sensitive one. And I'm very careful about sharing my thoughts on that. Because it's very, very difficult to accept the idea that we have chosen abuse for ourselves, and that it's our responsibility for the incarnation. But that is on a whole different level than the physical experience of understanding that it isn't your fault, and all of those things that therapy would take a person through. So that is not what I am advocating for or against here. I am merely talking here expanding consciousness to the greatest extent you can to think about this. And if you have suffered as a baby or a child, and this is just not resonating with you, then this is absolutely not the information you need to be listening to and absorbing at this point in your life, if ever. So I just want to really say that I am sensitive to that. And I'm not dealing with those issues in the work that I do. I am only dealing with things on a much broader scale.
20:53
I can deal with my own issue of losing a child to suicide, and applying all these lessons to my own healing and growth and expanded consciousness. But how we're able to embrace information and decide to work with it to heal, expand our consciousness, and create a different life for ourselves, that's all very, very personal. So I did just want to acknowledge that.
21:23
So when we're actually looking to reclaim this purity of love. Of joy. Of peace. Of contentment in our lives. Where we feel safe, to the best of our ability, and to the extent that we can, as adults, I believe that the main reason we set ourselves up with these lessons of hardship, and pain, is to reclaim those feelings and that experience of joy. And I'll just call, call it purity here because we've forgotten it. That is the biggest conundrum that I have grappled with in my whole entire life is, why would we forget it all, to come here and have to relearn it all? And I don't think anyone has the answer for that, quite frankly. So I stopped wondering about it and just started to take on the information and the lessons and the themes and the everything else I'm talking about today, to the extent that I can do it, and then share what I know, with others. But just not obsess about it. Which is why I don't do a whole lot of past life regression. But it is fun too.
22:49
So while we do have the soul group. And then we do on another level, choose the people we're going to go through our pain and suffering with in our various relationships and our various roles, the lessons that we learn, are very personal. So even think about it for a moment. What you may be going through right now. What you have gone through. What you may go through in the future that might be a little uncomfortable, if not downright painful, who you go through that with, and that's why they always say grief is different for everybody. But who you go through that pain or that adversity or that annoyance or that anything with, you will be experiencing it a little bit differently. But as I like to say, grief, which comes from any type of loss, or anything that's impacted you that has been painful, and you're in sorrow about it, that's grief, right? We don't invent new emotions. We just experienced the emotions to a different degree, maybe at varying times, with the people that are in our lives going through this experience with us.
24:06
So why do we do this? Basically, to evolve as soul, spirit and in the human form as mind and body. I see no other reason for it. Honestly? I cannot imagine that we're all choosing to come to this planet just to live in a state of stasis or suffering. And for anybody out there who is living in a constant state of joy and happiness and you've got it down pat more power to you. Come on my podcast and tell us all how you did it. But for me and for everybody I know. And for everybody I've con, you know been in touch with over the years. Connected with now and my past, the lessons just keep on coming. It's just the tool box keeps getting, you know, bigger and bigger with all the tools and the practices that I need and certainly, they need to keep themselves motivated, growing and improving their life. You'll always have lessons. So to sit today and wonder Hmm, what lesson? I'm all for just whenever I'm challenged by something, you know, after I've done all of my reacting to it go, Okay, what's the lesson in this? Seriously. There are oodles and oodles and oodles of lessons throughout our life. You could probably have a lesson every day.
25:37
More to the point you might want to think about, what have I experienced so far? What did I experience as a child? Who did I go through this experience with that was the most impacting for me that was sort of my comrade in arms, if you will? What did I get out of this? What lessons did I learn as an adult looking back? What am I seeing now that yes, if that didn't happen, this couldn't have happened. I'm not saying be grateful for it at this moment, if anything has happened to cause you pain at any point in your life. But I am saying, is there any piece of it that you can look at it and go, Yes, I learned from that. Is there a community that you have connected to where you go, Yep, we're all doing the same thing. More power to us. Has your experience or experiences. Your theme that you're sort of living, has it made impact culturally, politically, globally, and you're part of that? Amazing. I work in, in in an area with millions of other people who want to see change in how we view loss and experience our grief, and feel understood and more part of the mainstream. And that messaging needs to keep getting stronger. But it's still totally today, the same thing we're all still fighting for. It's just there's more voices. Which is amazing. I'm super, super, super pumped to be part of this group. Don't like the the circumstances that brought me to it. But now that I'm in it, I recognize it, and I'm super pumped to be part of it.
27:13
So have fun. If you have any comments, leave them. I'm going to be talking more about this. I have a link to a personal growth journal I'm going to be putting in the description. For now, it is a way to join my community where I'm going to be offering more information in a more intimate level. If you want to be part of this community hop on. Download the journal. You don't really have to work with it but some of the things in that particular journal might invite you to start thinking about, if not the soul group, as I said, that might not be the major thing that's important here, certainly your relationships and why you've chosen them and and some of the experiences that you're going through. And if you haven't seen the episode on choosing your parents, I'll put a link to that one as well and see if that can help you make sense of some of the things that may or may not be posing questions for you at this time in your life.
28:09
Meantime, I want to thank you for watching or listening to this, and see you next time.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai