Ep. 26 Coaching Lesson 9: Ambition: More Means More

Having struggled for years after the suicide of my daughter to rebuild my life without adequate resources to guide me through tough bereavement, I ultimately created an online course and a unique grief coaching program to help anyone struggling in grief or with anything else to recover and rebuild their life in a gentle, yet effective practice.

These Podcast coaching episodes are designed to introduce you to some of the key components to help you start to improve your life immediately and are based entirely on my lived experience since 2005 and professional experience as a healing practitioner.

In this episode from Lesson 9 of the Get Me Started! online course in the Beyond Bereavement series, learn all about ambition and whether you need it to succeed at anything in life, and what you can do if you can't feel any ambition today.

TIMESTAMP:
0:00    Welcome
0:13    What ambition means
1:23    Action steps
2:10    A little story
4:36    Why we can't conquer everything immediately!
5:40    Do we need ambition to succeed?
6:47    Countering the feelings of failure
7:42    More means more!
9:43    If you don't have ambition
10:36  What to do when things aren't working out
12:06  You have the power!
12:54 Closing

Get the JOURNAL

BOOKS (by Vonne Solis)
“Lessons in Surviving Suicide – A Letter to My Daughter”
“Divine Healing Transforming Pain into Personal Power – A Guide to Heal Pain From Child Loss, Suicide and Other Grief”
“The Power of Change”

RESOURCES (Blog, Course & Meditations)

COURSE Discount

COACHING EPISODES:
Start at Lesson 1: Regrets: Letting them go! Audio or YouTube
Go to previous Lesson 8: Becoming Joyful: A Win in Anyone's Book! Audio or YouTube

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Transcript

Vonne Solis  0:00  
Welcome to another Grief Talk Coffee Chat episode. I'm your host, Vonne Solis.

Vonne Solis  0:13  
So welcome to Coaching Episode Lesson 9 Ambition: More Means More. Last coaching episode, we talked about becoming joyful and how important that is to make any changes to your life. But accompanying this, you also need to have ambition. So we're going to talk about what ambition means. And what happens if you don't have it, and how you can still change your life, when you do start to get ambition back. 

Vonne Solis  0:42  
So ambition is the heartfelt desire that we have to change anything in our life. Whether we want more money, a relationship, a baby, a new house, live across the country have a better look, get fit. Whatever it is, we want, we do have to be invested in that. Have a little bit of ambition, in order to make it happen. We really do have to feel ambitious in order to make some long lasting life changes. And if you really think about it, anything you have created in your life, think about how ambitious you felt. How certain you felt. How invested you were in that outcome in order to make it happen. 

Vonne Solis  1:23  
Ambition also means taking action steps. Now taking action can scare a lot of people. And a lot of people just don't want to invest in themselves, least of all take any action to improve their life. And a lot of people simply aren't in a position at that moment to take action towards what it is they really are desiring in their heart. If you've downloaded the PDF mini-personal growth journal, you'll note that I have created very gentle action steps to either ease you into your journey or help you stay on course. You don't want to go too fast and conquer the world in one day when you're trying to pursue any specific goal in your life, even if it's just taking that first baby step. And there's a reason for this. 

Vonne Solis  2:10  
So here's a little story. So back in around 2007, after I had lost my daughter to suicide in 2005, there was a big thing going on in the world called The Secret. And a lot of you know, people who became sort of world leaders ended up doing a lot of a webinars. And at that time we were phoning in. And a lot of people started offering courses and retreats, and so on and so forth. So a lot of people actually that participated in The Secret became what I would consider by branding, world leaders at that time. Best selling books and so on. 

Vonne Solis  2:52  
So I was still obviously in very early stages of grief. But because I had a metaphysical spiritual background, and I've always invested in bettering myself, I came across this course from one of these leaders. And I decided I needed to get that. So anyway, the course arrived in the mail, along with probably CDs. And I set about sitting at my dining room table working on this course. As much as I could focus on it, and not really understanding the mental health limitations I had at that time. Even though I was really pushing myself physically, I set about with the greatest of intentions to get to that stage where I wanted to be leading other people as well. 

Vonne Solis  3:44  
So when I got to a part in the course, after probably, I don't know, four or five, six lessons, it came to the part where I needed to take action. And this was to do with, at the time, the teaching in that course was you had to network and you had to reach out and contact your hero. And either make a phone call, or take some other kinds of significant action to introduce yourself and basically network your stuff. And I froze. When I saw that word take action I literally froze. Skipped over the part. Finished the course. But for years it haunted me that I had failed in some major way because I couldn't even make a phone call at that time. 

Vonne Solis  4:36  
So one of the reasons I say that we cannot force ourselves or push upon ourselves this idea that we have to conquer everything we want immediately right now, it's for very good reason. We may not have the ability to go after what we want today because of extenuating circumstances that could be related to health. It could be related to the situations of our loved ones. It could be, you know, related to any number of factors. You can't leave your job. I mean, you know, there are so many people that feel ready to move on right now today. I want to quit my job. I know I'm supposed to be living in this other location. I know, I'm being called to do something much greater with my life. Purpose work and all that. And yet, we feel stuck. So we can actually push ourselves further away from our outcomes we want the more pressure we put on ourselves to succeed at achieving them. 

Vonne Solis  5:40  
So it's taken me many years to think about ambition and whether or not we need to have it to succeed. So the first thing I want to say about that is I have come to understand that yes, we do need ambition to succeed at achieving what it is we want. As I said, we have to be invested in ourselves to get what we want. And that always requires taking action steps of some sort. But the other thing I have discovered, and do teach and talk about a lot, because it's affected me in my own personal healing journey. Not being too hard on myself and wishing this upon other people. Don't be too hard on yourselves. That they will understand. It can take years to achieve a certain outcome. But if you don't have the ambition, today, the sky is not going to fall. The world is not going to end. Your world is not going to end. And you will get what you want when you're ready for it. I stand by that. 

Vonne Solis  6:47  
So in order to counter the frustration, and depression, and the impatience and all the other negative things that accompany the feelings of either failure. Or you're never going to achieve what you really want because maybe you can't even really get out the door today. Here's a couple of things that you can do. One, focus on what is positively happening in your life, today. And secondly, consider that the timing isn't quite right to pursue what it is you really want to pursue, but stay focused on the outcome you want to achieve without obsessing about it. So the key takeaway in this Lesson 9 Ambition More Means More, is that it's okay to let your ambition slide for whatever reason, but just don't get stuck there. 

Vonne Solis  7:42  
A key part of this lesson, Ambition More Means More, is to consider that when you do want to create more of anything in your life, it means taking on more. Whether this is more responsibility as you increase your family size, or you take a promotion at a job. You know, some of the things to consider is that a newer bigger house means more cleaning. More expense. Taking on a new relationship means making yourself vulnerable to someone else and taking on their baggage. A promotion means longer hours at work possibly, and certainly more responsibility. You get the idea. You have to be ready in all areas of your life to take on what the increase in responsibility. In money. How are you going to spend it?Anything that you want more of you have to be ready mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally to deal with all of the outcomes that are going to be associated with that moreness of your life. 

Vonne Solis  8:59  
And when it comes to healing that also means letting go of old patterns, and all those negative vices that we hang on to mentally, physically and emotionally in order to create a new life that is one that reflects all the newness of the positive things we are creating in our life. And while that might sound easy to do, when it does come to more means more in terms of healing, guaranteed, it's very difficult to let go of all the old pain and struggle. Particularly if it has become a pattern of habit or limiting beliefs. 

Vonne Solis  9:43  
So when I said a few moments ago, do you need ambition to succeed? And I have concluded that the answer is yes. The other thing to consider here is that if you don't have the level of ambition today to take the steps that are necessary to get to the next place you want to go in your life. The next step you want to arrive at, consider what it is you are wanting to achieve as an outcome, and most importantly, what is driving that need for change in your life today. When you know what you want and why you want it, it is much easier to feel ambitious about going after it. And certainly you will achieve it, specifically if it's coming from your heart. 

Vonne Solis  
  
So what happens when things aren't working out? The three main reasons why things might not be working out, you may not want what you think you really do. Number two, you may not know what you want. And number three, there could be extenuating circumstances keeping you from pursuing what you want. 

Vonne Solis  10:54  
Because we define our success mostly on our material possessions, and what we're doing in our life that appears successful to others, you may be feeling disappointment, uninspired, and maybe not even entitled to what you deep down know that you do want. Hence you have little or no ambition. Connecting to your personal power will solve all of that, even if it's just in the tiniest steps to get that going. 

Vonne Solis  11:27  
What I want you to remember in this lesson is that you do have the power to create what you want, in stages. In steps. And the more that you evolve. The more that you change, the more what you want evolves with that change. And there are many ways to get to connecting with your personal power. There are courses out there. There's meditations. There is, you know, learning. Reading books. Being inspired by all the teachers that you feel gravitated towards to help you learn what you next need to learn in the next stage of your journey. 

Vonne Solis  12:06  
So on that note, my message really is to people, coming from such great bereavement. Challenging bereavement and building myself up, is to just remember you do have the inner power to go after what you want. And it doesn't have to be big. Feeling your inner power can actually come from just the smallest of changes you make in your daily life. Whether it's thought related, or a little action step you took to make you feel a tiny bit better and on the way to going after the bigger things you surely will desire in your life when the timing is right.

Vonne Solis  12:54  
I'd invite you to check out the course I offer in the link below and stay tuned for more coaching episodes on how to improve your life today. Until next time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai