Grief Talk w/ Vonne Solis

Ep. 51 Self-Healing – Taking Responsibility

August 16, 2023 Vonne Solis Season 3 Episode 51
Grief Talk w/ Vonne Solis
Ep. 51 Self-Healing – Taking Responsibility
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

In this coaching episode, learn about self-responsibility according to Spiritual Philosophy and related to self-healing, and the four essential steps I rely on in my own journey to become whole as a bereaved mom since 2005.

0:00    Welcome
0:13    Self-responsibility & manifesting
3:00    When you slip
4:17    The Universe is delivering
6:18    Healing with the angels
7:03    Four easy steps
13:58  Health and Life Wealth
14:57  Closing

Four Easy Steps Action Guide

How to Work With Angels in Grief

Connect with Vonne
“Lessons in Surviving Suicide – A Letter to My Daughter”
“Divine Healing Transforming Pain into Personal Power – A Guide to Heal Pain From Child Loss, Suicide and Other Grief”
“The Power of Change”

Join Vonne's Community

Subscribe to the podcast! Share your favourite episodes! Connect with Vonne on LinkedIn and Facebook.

Vonne Solis  0:00  
Welcome to another Grief Talk Coffee Chat episode. I'm your host, Vonne Solis.

Vonne Solis  0:13  
So welcome to another Divine Healing coaching episode. This one is all about Self-Healing, Taking Responsibility. 

Vonne Solis  0:23  
So if we start with the premise that spiritual philosophy teaches that we must take responsibility for our life and everything that happens to us throughout our life, it means we must claim responsibility not only for our successes, but also for the bad things that happen to us, and the painful experiences that we go through, including our losses. And I don't say this lightly as a bereaved mother since 2005. In fact, my entire healing journey has been challenged by this spiritual principle or spiritual law, if you will, including in some aspects, up to the healing I'm experiencing today. It doesn't mean that the spiritual law or principle isn't true. It just means that I'm challenged by it, the further I get in my healing, and dependent on what I'm desiring to achieve. Which is obviously going to be different for every individual.

Vonne Solis  1:22  
A life guided by a spiritual practice is centered on this idea of self-responsibility. So taking responsibility for our actions, our emotions. For basically everything we're attracting into our life that we are experiencing. And attracting what you want, good or bad, painful or joyful, is entirely dependent on what we are predominantly thinking and feeling. While it is certain that you will attract many different experiences and situations, the more proficient you get at consciously manifesting what you desire in your life, including healing, a body in pain will naturally resist energy of a higher vibration. So it takes determination and discipline to shift your consciousness even slightly, yet transforming your consciousness is in fact, the foundation of authentic healing.

Vonne Solis  2:20  
So we are all responsible to heal ourselves to the extent that we want to experience healing, or desire to become whole again. And while it can certainly be advantageous to seek help from other professionals and practitioners, given that not one of us is an island unto ourselves, ultimately, until we commit to this principle of self-responsibility, and have a desire to change anything in our life, including welcoming healing into our life, we will continue to suffer or experience what we are experiencing negatively in some way. Kind of like habits.

Vonne Solis  
So how do you center yourself in a healing mindset and quickly return to it when you slip, which we all do, back into negative thinking or behaviour? It is essential to remember that every positive thought you have begins to shift your energy to a higher vibration, even if just slightly, every time you think a good thought or intend to be healed or better. And this is how powerful transformation occurs over time. Eventually, and the more you practice shifting your thoughts by examining the alternatives to your negative thinking, the more your energy shifts. Until eventually you are naturally vibrating and consciously attracting energy of this higher vibration that is what brings all goodness into our life. That means people opportunities, living environments, relationships, finances. Absolutely everything. You literally don't have to worry when you put your trust in a higher source, or call it The Universe, if you will, to bring you what you intend to create in your life.

Vonne Solis  4:17  
In terms of the universe delivering, it's kinda like a parent wanting to give their child everything so that they lack for nothing. And the universe is the same way. I once heard it expressed that you could think of The Universe delivering on our intentions, much like looking at us in the palm of Source or Creator. And I've never really forgotten that. It makes us feel somewhat insignificant as imagining ourselves curled up in the hand of something much more powerful than we are. Absolutely willing and ready to give us everything that we desire that's coming authentically from our heart. And that we're ready for. It's a really neat kind of image to hold on to, if you doubt, the ability of the powers that be, that are behind the scenes, helping us with our manifestations of all kinds. Including your healing.

Vonne Solis  5:19  
So when it comes to healing, your transition from a life in pain rooted to one in personal power, is based entirely on your willingness to transcend negative thoughts and limiting beliefs to ones that are positive and centered on love, health, and happiness. Thoughts that arise from anything less that represent all lower forms of energy will never serve you well. 

Vonne Solis  5:45  
So as said previously, we all do slip into negative thinking, and patterns of behaviour. It's natural to do that. And that is what grief is all about. And that is how we transform. By knowing what we no longer want to or need to hang onto in our thoughts, beliefs, and behaviour. But having said that, your key to center yourself in a positive mindset is what will bring you your overall success in all areas of life, including your healing from any type of loss or adversity.

Vonne Solis  6:18  
And while I'm not talking about angels today, I'll be saving that for another upcoming coaching episode, I do have a link that I will post in the show notes to an informational video I did on working with angels in grief if you're interested. It does make this whole process of trusting and manifesting and experiencing a super abundant life full of surprises, actually, when you do choose to work with angels. In fact, angels played a key role in my healing journey, right from the beginning days of my grief, and play a major role in my healing today and with every aspect of my life going forward. There isn't a day goes by that I'm not working with angels in one way or another.

Vonne Solis  7:03  
But today, let's focus on four easy steps that I want to share with you that will help you center yourself and maintain positive thoughts in your healing. Number one, it is essential that you monitor your thoughts and validate only the ones that feel nurturing. So when your thoughts stray to negative ones, find something to feel grateful for no matter how small. This will give you an emotional lift, even if only briefly. And that's essential to raise your vibration. So some examples may be if you're a gardener, notice how beautiful your garden is. Notice the flower in bloom if you're walking by in a park or something you know or you're somewhere in nature. Appreciate the warmth of the sunshine on your face, or the rain providing nurturing to nature. Feel grateful that your loved ones are safe. That you have a home, a job. Perhaps a loving partner. Your physical health. Whatever it is you can find to just feel a tiny little bit grateful for, feel that. And let the emotion of that relief sweep through you, even if it's momentarily. 

Vonne Solis  8:12  
Number two, dream big, and focus only on what you know you deserve and can have. And I'll add really want. When you are feeling down, consider the opposite emotion to what you are feeling and practice feeling that. Again, even momentarily. And let that emotion you're imagining sweep over you for as long as possible. There is an opposite to everything. So I just want to say. It really is easy to acknowledge when you're angry about something or feeling really sad, or you know, frustrated or whatever the negative emotion is that you're experiencing and you are rightly entitled to be experiencing. By just understanding you have the choice to feel the opposite emotion, gives you the power to decide which one you want to stay in. And the moment you decide, I want to stay in this one or this one. Positive, negative. Your beliefs, the thoughts that you're having around that emotion are going to tie you to or I should say anchor you to whatever emotion you're choosing to experience. Positive, negative, good, bad, helpful, healing. You choose.

Vonne Solis  9:33  
Number three. One of the things important to the manifesting piece and even manifesting healing, is you have to have a few goals. Now I normally don't really like the word goals, but I'm just going to use them here lightly. So it is to plan goals. Realistic ones that you know you can actually handle, okay? As you move steadily towards your larger desires. So it's a very positive sign when you feel yourself, especially in grief. I'm really dealing with grief in this episode, to begin to feel hope and want more for your life. But you can't have it all at once. And one of the things that stopped me from being able to dream and imagine and even feel capable, especially in the very early years of my grief, my bereavement after I lost my daughter to suicide in 2005, was that I really didn't have anything to anchor my thoughts to. I was no longer the person I once was. Therefore, I had no idea of what it was capable of doing, deserved, needed or wanted. And therefore I was kind of in an abyss. I really didn't intend or manifest anything. I just kind of let my days unfold.

Vonne Solis  10:53  
But after about the third year, so I don't have an exact timeline. But when I did start to go, Hmm, maybe this doesn't feel so great. So I want this, you know? I started setting larger intentions for myself. And so I'm very aware of at various stages when what you're dealing with, particularly if you're struggling with something really, really bad right now. And you can't see your way out of it. Recognize the power that you have, and are choosing from within you, to want more or be more just by getting out of bed.

Vonne Solis  11:30  
So some examples of setting a little goal, or we can call it an intention to do something more today than you maybe could do yesterday. And maybe a little less than you might choose to do tomorrow, is meet a friend for a social outing. Change a thought or a belief. You know, from one that you feel hopeless to one that maybe there is hope. There are a number of choices. Again, it's like the opposite emotion. Choosing to even think about wanting something better or more for yourself. And then even thinking about a step that can take you there is very powerful to get you on your journey to living a life basically, that becomes very intentional and powerful and centered on transformation.

Vonne Solis  12:16  
Step four is to take action. So you plan the goal. You've set the intention. And then you what? Have to take action? I know sounds scary. And for many years in my earlier grief, I absolutely was terrified of the words take action, whenever I was following somebody who was a thought leader or teaching about manifestation or just you know, an inspirational leader of some sort or the other. But here's the thing. You must take some action. Even the tiniest step to get where you want to go because nobody else is going to take you there. It also demonstrates the level of willingness you have to transform your life today. This might be anything that you are holding yourself back from because you just think you can't do it or you don't want to do it. Being willing to take that action is a huge step forward in your overall transformational process. Also, it sets you up for that when you're feeling ready to take bigger steps, you'll be ready to take them. 

Vonne Solis  13:19  
In doing this, I'd also add to this last point about taking action, please reward yourself for everything you are doing that is giving you any kind of positive momentum. Because it's very easy to lose sight of our accomplishments when we are in the midst of struggle. And by the very fact that we are still here, breathing, meeting our debts, working, caring for family. All of the things that we just routinely are doing, when it feels taxing to do it, that you've got to reward yourself for. It's huge.

Vonne Solis  13:58  
So building on this idea of having to take action, you have to first want change in order to change. And being willing to take responsibility for yourself is key to helping you do this and start creating the health and life wealth that you desire. I'll put a link to an action guide of these steps so that you can self-coach yourself daily, or when you really need a pick me up. The point is to be able to review these steps and then follow them through to the best of your ability on a daily basis. Because when you're in grief and when you're struggling with anything, life challenges us daily. You don't wake up one day and go oh, life's all better. No. It is a very structured process that we have to take ourselves through to transform at every stage of the healing process. The healing journey. These steps I found critical to that transformation.

Vonne Solis  14:57  
Anyway, I hope this coaching episode helps you a little bit. Thanks for watching. Thanks for listening. Until next time.

Self-responsibility & manifesting
When you slip
The Universe is delivering
Healing with the angels
Four easy steps
Health and Life Wealth