Grief Talk w/ Vonne Solis

Ep. 48 The Healthy Soul – How Happy Are You?

July 26, 2023 Vonne Solis/Sunday Miller Season 3 Episode 48
Grief Talk w/ Vonne Solis
Ep. 48 The Healthy Soul – How Happy Are You?
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

In this episode meet Sunday Miller. A Business and Leadership Consultant. I absolutely loved speaking with Sunday. With defined values and ethics at the core of everything we do, we can't help but find happiness in all areas of our life when we understand our why and how to overcome the obstacles. And helping you find that personally or in business is Sunday's specialty.

If you're missing out on happiness in any area of your life, learn what you can do to immediately start to create the mindset and situations that will help you find long-lasting happiness and contentment in all areas of your life because you know the "why" in everything you're choosing.

TIMESTAMP:
0:00    Welcome
0:32    Meet Sunday
2:06    How spiritual impacts business
5:01    What we focus on
7:18    What are our thoughts connected to?
9:40    The healthy soul
13:04  Destiny and free will
16:59  Two brothers
19:45  Abuse and victimization
22:14  Racism
26:44  Choice
30:29  Mind, Will, Emotions
34:04  Why we're working too hard
44:38  Rise of the changing job culture
50:24  Choosing your power
54:01  Sunday's resources
56:59  Closing
57:21  End

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Vonne Solis  0:00  
Welcome to another episode of Grief Talk. Everything you want to know about grief and more. I'm your host, Vonne Solis. As an author, life transformation coach, online instructor and bereaved mom since 2005, I'll be bringing you great content that is informative, inspiring and practical. Whether you have suffered a loss or other adversity, stay tuned and tapped in, as I cover a variety of topics to help you get where you want to go on your journey to heal and grow.

Vonne Solis  0:32  
Today's guest is Sunday, Miller. With a background in organizational people and business development internationally, Sunday is a builder of dreams. She believes that the spiritual impacts business and leadership more than we think and knows the benefits of following core values rather than the money. She is passionate about helping people and organizations align with their core beliefs to discover what they really want to do. How they want to do it, and why to have the greatest impact and most fulfilling life, personally, and professionally. 

Vonne Solis  1:06  
Welcome to the show Sunday. I met you recently and we connected instantly. And so I'm so grateful that you've come on the show to talk about all the things we're going to talk about today.

Sunday Miller  1:18  
Thank you for inviting me. It's a pleasure to be here Vonne. I agree that we most definitely made a connection beyond the superficial. And I really appreciate the opportunity of actually continuing this connection.

Vonne Solis  1:33  
Oh, for sure. For sure. So for my audience, if you listened to the introduction, Sunday is very accomplished. Got a couple of BA's. Science, French. Her master's in business. Her work took her internationally working in business growth. And I define you and I'm reading this because I didn't want to, you know, get it wrong. But as a problem solver, a strategist, a leader, an organizer, an author. You are an author. A provider of dreams. A spiritualist. Pretty well rounded and accomplished there. 

Vonne Solis  2:06  
And what I wanted to start with in this episode Sunday, because we're going to be introducing people to concepts of spirituality, values in work professionally, personally, and how that can actually define far greater success in our lives, when we're in touch with our core values. And what we want to do, how we want to do it and why we want to do it. So folks tuning in, that is exactly what we're going to be covering today. 

Vonne Solis  2:38  
So let's start with, you say that the spiritual impacts business in more ways than we think. So I wanted to know if you could just expand on that. Anything that we talked about here related to the business world because I know that's, you know, a part of your background for sure. Well, it all starts with the personal in my view anyway. What we do personally flows into into business. So if we just, you know, start a little bit about explaining what you mean by spiritual impacts business more than we think, and why this may be so.

Sunday Miller  3:17  
When I say the spiritual, and this may come up later, but I am talking about the unseen. And I'm talking about our beliefs, which are not necessarily something that we can grasp hold off. And so when I, when I say that the spiritual is impacting business, it's basically because it impacts you. So we all have faith. We can't define it. But we all have faith. What it depends in maybe we have faith in science. It could be faith in a religion. It could be faith in anything. Like for example, we sat down in chairs. We didn't even stop to think as to whether that chair would hold us or not. We have faith.

Vonne Solis  4:15  
Yes, I understand that. 

Sunday Miller  4:17  
And part of that is because we have faith in natural laws. Like we don't worry that we're going to fly up into the air because we know gravity works. Right? And we know that even though everything we see is material. But what we see is based on what we can't see. And I call that that's the spirit realm. And as a result of that, unfortunately, we are a three part entity. We're body, soul and spirit. And we are taught to focus on what we can see. And yet what we see is the result of what we cannot see. 

Vonne Solis  5:01  
Yeah.

Sunday Miller  5:01  
And so as a human being, we focus on the outward appearance of everybody. Whether it's height, colour, gender, whatever. That's what we focus on. And we do it to the detriment of what we cannot see, which is the spirit and the soul. And it's interesting because the soul and spirit will never die. They are eternal. Our body will die. The only thing that dies is what we focus on. And so when I say that, the spiritual impacts leadership and business, it's because I believe that the spirit is the result. It comes from our, our, our thoughts, which are impacted, or which come from our heart. So we talked about the brain, and we talked about the mind. But they're two separate entities. And the mind, or the heart, whatever you want to call, it impacts the brain with the thoughts. The thoughts create the chemical responses through the neurons and the synapses, and the body responds. 

Sunday Miller  6:20  
And when we think of business, business is a service that we're offering to people. And we're offering it, why? Because of the way we think. Because of the ideas we've come up with. Because of different things in that way. And where are those things coming from? Where are the ideas coming from? So,  that's why I say it's impacting in a spiritual sense. Because it's coming from like, some people say, it was my gut instinct. It was, it's just something that I felt. And I, and I moved on it. And so that's where I say, the proper flow of things should be spirit to soul, which is the mind will and emotions, to body.

Vonne Solis  7:18  
So we offer our services because of our thoughts. Right? We think, Okay, I'm going to do this. I'll bet you not that many people think about where'd the thought come from.

Sunday Miller  7:28  
Yeah, that's yes. That is the point.

Vonne Solis  7:32  
Yeah, I know. And I'm just rephrasing it, because you can join masterminds. You can join any kind of business coaching. You can do all these things. I've never once heard anyone ask where'd that thought come from. They might ask why you want to do it, or how you want to do it to a degree, but it's always sort of shaped in the business framework. And that's even making me think. Because I think a lot of people get stuck or lost or disconnected from who they are and what they want to do, just because they don't really know where the thought came from. And that's your work, so. Wow. Okay. And I don't know if that's too much to unpack today. But I do know, just having a lightbulb moment and going, Aha! Where did I get that from? So you mentioned gut instinct. Some people might well, even when it's purpose driven Sunday. Think I don't know.

Sunday Miller  8:34  
Yeah. And intuition. And then the question is, what is that thought connected to? Like is it connected to light? And love and compassion? Or is it connected to dark? Greed? Jealousy? Envy? 

Vonne Solis  8:50  
Yeah.

Sunday Miller  8:51  
Because it will dictate what we do. And it will also impact the results we have. 

Vonne Solis  8:58  
Yeah, of course. Wow. We're probably gonna have to circle back to that just a little bit. Because I mean, that's a, that is a lot for anyone to think about. And it's even a lot for those of us that have been on a spiritual path, in my case, decades. And there are things we miss about that, because it's kind of I'm not gonna say surface. But it's kind of, there are set sort of rules to a spiritual practice if you follow your most popular leaders for decades. Maybe even going back to the well, Napoleon Hill. Wasn't he 19th century? Late 19th, late 19th century? A lot of work is based on Napoleon Hill, for example. 

Vonne Solis  9:40  
So let's talk a little bit about the healthy soul because it would be really nice if for the audience, we can all of us, myself included as we speak Sunday, consider while you're talking and sharing this wisdom, you know, yeah, What is that thought connected to? Where did the thought come from? But it's not just in one thing. It's everything we do.

Sunday Miller  10:06  
Yes.

Vonne Solis  10:07  
Right?

Sunday Miller  10:08  
Yes.

Vonne Solis  10:08  
So let's talk about the healthy soul. Because that's all connected. Knowing the why. Not, I don't think the how necessarily is as important, but the why from the thought. But where'd the thought come from? By the way, I just want to throw in, and I don't know if you agree with this, or have read this. Studied it. Believe it. Mind is, you know, in consciousness, like definitely separated from the body. And I followed a little bit of work from Deepak Chopra, who, you know, and other scientists who had actual proof of that, if I am not mistaken. So when you say the mind is separate from the brain

Sunday Miller  10:08  
from the brain, yep

Vonne Solis  10:13  
 I also don't know how many people think about that.

Vonne Solis  10:22  
Yes. Well, and how many people know that there's a conscious and a subconscious. And the subconscious is much more powerful than the conscious. But what is impacting the subconscious?

Vonne Solis  10:58  
Again, but it's like we all I think most of us would know about conscious. Subconscious. But don't know necessarily at all what's in the subconscious and how it 

Sunday Miller  11:09  
powerful

Vonne Solis  11:10  
controls people. Shapes, people. Influences people. All of us. And maybe we can touch a little bit on that, and how we can sort of at least be aware of it and get ourselves out of that when it's all negativity. Let's talk about the healthy soul Sunday. What do you mean, by the healthy soul? You mentioned mind, emotions, thinking processes. So how we can think about ourselves more functioning first and foremost, well, you know, spirit, healthy soul. What does that mean for people?

Sunday Miller  11:39  
Yeah. I said that the soul is, is basically your mind. It's your will. And it's your emotions. And it's very difficult for you to be in health. It's very difficult for you to prosper if your soul isn't healthy. And the reason I say that is because, well, number one, your emotions, they play a huge role in how we respond to things, right? And a healthy soul is one that has hope. A healthy soul is the one that sees the beauty around them. The healthy soul is the one that has a level of a sense of security, and safety. But a healthy soul is also one that acknowledges that there's more than them. That they are not the be all and the end all. And so a healthy soul is the soul that regardless of what's going on. No matter how much turmoil is going on around them, they have peace. Because they have, they've made that connection with who they are on the inside. And they've also recognized who they are. 

Sunday Miller  13:04  
So they've made the connection with who they are, and they've embraced it. And then they can be comfortable. And then when I say that, and when I say identifying who you are, I'm saying that from a perspective of someone who believes that when everybody was birthed into this planet, they were birthed in with a destiny. And I believe that when we are forming and creating and being developed in our mother's womb, all the gifts and abilities that we need to fulfill that destiny are incorporated within us.

Vonne Solis  13:41  
Well, I certainly love that. I actually guess I do believe that too. But then anytime you speak to somebody about it who might challenge that, then they always go well, what about free will? So I'll let you speak to that a little bit. But yeah, I do believe that we have a soul design for the incarnation. And we come in a soul group and we have soul contracts. So I do believe that. But I also believe that a lot of people don't wake up to that. Are not connected to that purpose. I don't know if there's a difference between purpose and destiny. Do you think there's a difference?

Sunday Miller  14:21  
The way I would identify the difference between purpose and destiny is the purpose is the process. And the destiny is the endpoint.

Vonne Solis  14:31  
I like that. I really, I could I could definitely agree with that. No problem.

Sunday Miller  14:38  
Yeah. 

Vonne Solis  14:38  
There will be people that don't. 

Sunday Miller  14:40  
Yeah.

Vonne Solis  14:41  
Again it's because of this free will. So let's talk a little bit about free will. Because you see when you believe in destiny and purpose, it's our foundation. And I can just see the people and we're not maybe going to answer this today, but that experience an awful lot of hardship. And then they would say, It cannot be. It's easy to think about destiny when we're successful. It's very difficult to think about destiny when we're in pain and suffering and experience a lot of hardship, even starting from childhood.

Sunday Miller  15:11  
Yes.

Vonne Solis  15:11  
So what would you say to those people that would challenge the belief and destiny and purpose when, when it is an incarnation filled with just so much pain. Even and mostly starting from childhood? Because that stumped me a little bit. And in in my own work, I'm very considerate of that. And I get it. Because you see, I believe that we all have created our experiences. So look, it goes in line with purpose, destiny. We've agreed to this before we come here. And I know there's gonna be people that go, no, no, no. And I've actually had somebody leave a comment on something I posted. And you know, I have a meditation for forgiving your parents. Which a lot of, say older millennials, middle mid-millennials really gravitate to. And many, many people are very angry at their parents. 

Vonne Solis  15:36  
So let's starting just with that, going back to what you say. So we come in the you know, into the Incarnation in our mother's womb, with it all planned out. And I'm just really generalizing here. And then you would for sure, we both would say, yes, I agree with that. And then I say yes and take responsibility for it in the lifetime. And through your lessons and wanting change or in the hardships that can lead to purpose. And what was the positive of that and all, you know, all that stuff. But it gets very tricky when we're dealing with issues of child abuse, and, you know, violence and all of these, these things. So what would you say to that?

Vonne Solis  16:03  
Yeah. I'm, I'm not saying that everything that happens to you is the plan. Because, and this is where free will comes in.

Vonne Solis  16:58  
Okay.

Sunday Miller  16:59  
There are people who can choose to do the wrong thing. And depending upon how we respond, that can also put us on the wrong path. So it's still a choice. I mean, it's like, I was listening to someone speak. There were two brothers. Their father was an alcoholic and he was abusive. Ended up in prison. One of the brothers ended up just like his father. And they asked him, you know, how come this happened? And he said, Well, what choice did I have with a father, like what like I had that I grew up with? The other brother asked him, they asked him about, you know, who he became. And he was a lawyer and a judge. And his response was exactly the same. How could I be anything different based on what I, on how I grew up? 

Vonne Solis  18:07  
Yeah.

Sunday Miller  18:07  
So it's, it's not what happens to you. It's how you respond to it. Which is what I call a healthy soul. Because we are, we're very powerful. If we can connect to who we really are on the inside, we are very powerful. Regardless of what comes against you. You can overcome. And you can get on your path. And you can achieve what you're meant to achieve with joy, and with contentment, and with energy. And so all of these things, whether it's you know, abuse, molestation, rape. You know, I mean, whatever kind of heinous thing that you can come up with. It truly is a matter of your emotions, and your will. 

Sunday Miller  19:04  
We can choose, to be resentful. To be angry. To be hateful. To be mean. To be vicious. To want revenge. That takes us down a path that doesn't lead to good. Again, it's a choice. And, and, you know, it's one of the questions I've had people you know, ask me. Why is there all this evil? I said, it's a choice that we've made. And sometimes we make the choice because it makes us feel better. It makes us in the moment, it makes us feel better to be angry. To be resentful. To have hate towards a person. But in the long term, it harms us.

Vonne Solis  19:45  
Yeah. It's so interesting Sunday. And I'll pop in here. Sometimes, well, probably every episode, I throw in a little bit of personal experience. People love stories, and we all have a story. So listen, I have been the, I really don't like the word victim. But I'll just rephrase that. I have experienced abuse. I had abuse, just like violent hitting and stuff. Not sexual from, it started with my father. And he wasn't always like that. But it was from a generation where that was how they disciplined. And it was, you know, four kids in our family. And years later, as an adult, I looked back at that and I thought, Hmm, how did you feel as a child getting whacked on your bare bottom? Embarrassed and humiliated and all that stuff. But that also led into violent relationships. Where I experienced violence and even death threats in one relationship. 

Vonne Solis  20:48  
And somehow, I'm not brushing it off as Oh, whatever. But somehow, I guess I came into the Incarnation understanding, I wasn't going to hold anybody else. Anyone or, you know, my parents. Not any former relationships. I was, I was not going to hold them responsible for it. I was just going to get myself out of the situation. So the will to just, yeah, no, that's not how I want to live. Without even, so making choices based on that without even understanding for years the actual personal power we have to not succumb to that kind of living. And some of it was in the 70s. And some of it, you know, listen may have been just, we're conditioned from 50s, 60s and probably earlier, to be told, put in our place. Certainly female, but, you know, just the stuff we've had to go through. And I mean, unfortunately, that kind of violence still occurs today. So what I'm saying is, it's not that I think you or me, or anyone else adopting this type of practice or teaching it, is doing this, and we have no clue what we're talking about. In fact, sometimes it's those experiences, if not all the time, it's those experiences that lead us to our power.

Sunday Miller  22:06  
Yes. Yes. And, and I most definitely agree. Because if you are a victim, you can't change the situation. 

Vonne Solis  22:13  
I know.

Sunday Miller  22:14  
Because it's in someone else's hands. And, and I will, and you know, I'll just tell, you know, I guess my story in the sense that, you know, as a young black woman growing up in Canada, on the east coast, I, I couldn't understand when I walked down the street, why people would say things to me. And I remember going home and asking my mother, and she'd say, Well, who said this to you? And I tell her this was yelled out the window or that was said. And then she would explain to me why they said that. And I was shocked that they would say things like that. They don't know who I am. But she let me know, well, they're making that decision based on the color of your skin. And that, to me, was very frightening. Because I thought, this is how people see me? 

Sunday Miller  23:04  
And you know, it's very easy to become what people think you are. But then that means you become a victim. And I looked within myself and I said, That's not who I am. I don't care what they say. I'm not going to, I'm not going to do that. I'm not going down that path. I'm not putting up with it. And I think that started my process of knowing who I am on the inside.

Vonne Solis  23:34  
What age were you?

Sunday Miller  23:37  
Ah, around 14 or 15.

Vonne Solis  23:39  
So I don't know if you want me to just say the word racism here, but you experienced racism.

Sunday Miller  23:45  
Yes. Yeah.

Vonne Solis  23:47  
I'll be open. I'll be super honest. My daughter was mixed. Half West Indian. I'm certain it played a role in her suicide, racism. She experienced it. And I experienced it, believe it or not. And I'm not playing like a racist card. I have not jumped into that cultural discourse is the best way of saying that. I have no right. But even I was called names for having my child. 

Sunday Miller  24:13  
Yeah.

Vonne Solis  24:13  
Right from her as a newborn. I was living in a small community at the time, but I would never ever suggest that that impacted me. It just made me sad and sorrowful for her. But I was inexperienced and not equipped and didn't even understand how to have the conversation with her.

Sunday Miller  24:29  
Yeah. Yeah. And I think, you know, and my mom did. I mean, and, and of course, you know, my background is is is challenging, because, you know, my dad died when I was four. So mom was raising, you know, in her 30s raising four kids. 

Vonne Solis  24:31  
Oh, wow. 

Sunday Miller  24:32  
And the prognosis wasn't good. And all of the negative things that people were telling her were going to happen to her kids. And you know, and my mother, she was mother, father and police woman.

Vonne Solis  24:56  
Yeah. Wow. She sounds so powerful.

Sunday Miller  24:59  
Yeah. And she was. I mean, she had no intention of having her children become a statistic. You know?

Vonne Solis  25:06  
And even though people talk in those exact words today, we're talking a while back. The reason I'm saying that is the issue hasn't gone away.

Sunday Miller  25:15  
Still the same. 

Vonne Solis  25:16  
Do you think it's worse today?

Sunday Miller  25:17  
Yeah, I think, I think it's, it's taken a slightly different look because we have things called diversity, equity and inclusion. But that hasn't made a difference, because the whole issue is the heart issue. And it comes all back to the same thing. Who are you on the inside and what are your core values?

Vonne Solis  25:38  
I just want to jump in for a quick second. So even when we talk about we choose destiny and all that. So even where we live, the colour of our skin, the economic situation, you still say despite and even because of what you experienced from early on, and no doubt your mom experienced. Your dad experienced. Your siblings. So even for the people who today are experiencing injustice in some way, shape, or form. Because almost every community feels there's an injustice. I feel that way in the bereavement community, but not in a negative way. Just that we need advocacy and change and so on. But for those that it turns into, perhaps violence or aggression, or personal emotions bordering on the, as you say, hate, anger, revenge, and just a ton of emotions, do you still stand by, but we chose this?

Sunday Miller  26:44  
I'm not saying that we chose that. I mean, obviously, I personally believe that there's not a demon in hell. There's not an evil government. There's not any kind of racist person that's going to be able to stop me from achieving my destiny, if I am committed to achieving it. And I'm open to be guided down the path and keep my heart open, and not hardened. Because, number one, they don't have that level of power and authority over me unless I give it to them. So it's another form. And I know that there's a lot about out there talking about racism, and so on and so forth. I'm not saying it doesn't exist. It does exist. It's not meant to exist. But again, those are people who have made a choice, who I do not believe, are fulfilling their purpose and their destiny.

Vonne Solis  27:45  
Right. I think what I'm really trying to get at here is we understand, so everything that applies to us personally, and what you're saying, which I agree with

Sunday Miller  27:52  
Yes

Vonne Solis  27:53  
Well, I'll ask you. Do you think, because I believe this, that we can even consider it in cultural, geographical areas that, I chose to be this person with this colour skin in this area with these cultural, social, if not global issues, including even experiencing war and all of that? And we're sort of getting into where even societies that are going through war? I believe that they even contracted to be there at a specific time to do whatever it is they need to do. And in many cases, like if we take even Ukraine, fighting for democracy, like to hold on to that. You know, how the wall fell and all that kind of stuff. Anyway, it's it's a really big conversation, I know, right? But I just want to give people hope that whatever skin colour you have. What, whoever you are. Whatever gender you're born. You want to change it. You don't want to change it. You're a mom. You're not a mom, your dad, your you lose your kids, whatever, it's like our choice how we want to take responsibility and go, Okay. I chose this. Now, what am I going to do with it?

Sunday Miller  29:05  
Yeah. For me, the the concept is being the best that you can be.

Vonne Solis  29:11  
No matter what, right? 

Sunday Miller  29:12  
That's right. And that's your choice.

Vonne Solis  29:14  
Yeah.

Sunday Miller  29:14  
No matter, you know. Look, when I see and I can't think of his name right now, and he was born with no arms and no legs. 

Vonne Solis  29:22  
Yeah.

Sunday Miller  29:23  
He's married with what three or four kids. And he has a global business where he's going around talking and encouraging. I mean, he's an inspirational, motivational speaker. That anyone had the the right to pull the victim card.

Vonne Solis  29:41  
It'd be him. 

Sunday Miller  29:42  
Yeah.

Vonne Solis  29:44  
And so but even when you look at the disability group. We used to call it disability. Physically impaired. I don't know what we call it today. It changes. But I worked for a number of years with a guy who was a double amputee. And he was an Olympian. A Para-Olympian. And he was so cool. But the thing about it is, he would joke about, you know, we might be in meetings and he might joke and say, if you don't do this, I'm gonna take off my leg, and you know whack you with it. And so you know, a lot of it can come with humour. He never made himself, ever made himself a victim. He lost his legs when he was six in a tragic accident. And so it's not like he was born like this. He had to adapt to it. 

Vonne Solis  30:29  
So before we move on, I just, I'll say and then if you want the last word on it is just, our situations, one of the things that really impacted me, of course, was losing my daughter to suicide. So for me, that was kind of like, I think I could get through just about anything else. That has been my toughest lesson in this life so far. And in bereavement, you don't think about colour. You don't think about, you know, anything. You just think about basically the loss. But I always looked to, you know, see, and remember, who was going through something worse than me. And that always helped me kind of see a bit of a light. So I only lost one child. Some people lose two or all of their kids. And it also helped me develop a lot of compassion and empathy. And so that's all I want to say about that. Do you have anything else you want to say? I know, that was a lot. And I didn't plan on speaking about that. But I think it's really important because I think that in many societies, it's almost a culture of victimhood.

Sunday Miller  31:31  
Yeah. 

Vonne Solis  31:32  
And I don't want to get in trouble for saying that with anyone but...

Sunday Miller  31:36  
They've been trained. It's indoctrinated. It's covered in the media. It's like, you can't, you need us. You can't do it yourself. One of the other things I would like to say about a healthy soul. It is a choice that we make. And the healthy soul, I honestly believe, I believe that there are two forces just like in sides and everything. There's a good, there's a bad there's a yin, there's a yang. And you have to figure out what you're going to yield your soul to. That will determine whether you rise, or whether you stay a victim and become someone who's angry, resentful. Someone needs to pay. Which I think is part of the reason we have all the violence. 

Vonne Solis  32:01  
Oh my god that 

Sunday Miller  32:12  
Someone owes me.

Vonne Solis  32:24  
Yeah. At the bottom of it all Sunday, I believe all violence comes from pain. And people who suffer incredible, I've had many conversations with people about how we come here, and we're these innocent, beautiful little souls. And then life happens. And so I believe bullies are born from pain. Any any type of, you know, using, you know, that kind of physical power to make themselves feel less hurt. And that's just what I believe. 

Sunday Miller  33:02  
Yeah. Hurting people hurt people. Yeah.

Vonne Solis  33:04  
What I'm taking away from this bit of the conversation is, folks think about yourself a soul more. Because when you do, it removes you from the physical. And we talk about soul in like really large terms. Out there somewhere where, you know, you can't really understand what soul is. But I'm feeling from you Sunday, we're talking very much soul as being just right here. With us.

Sunday Miller  33:32  
Mind, will emotions. 

Vonne Solis  33:34  
Yeah.

Sunday Miller  33:34  
Those are tangible. You know, when you're when you're feeling anxious. Why are you feeling anxious? Identify it. What's causing it?

Vonne Solis  33:42  
Exactly. So you've actually put something tangible to something that otherwise remains quite intangible for people, and I love that. And I'm thanking you for that. Because I'm going to think about that as well. Instead of this greater, bigger entity, that makes me feel more separate from it. That power than connected to it. 

Vonne Solis  34:04  
That probably ties into having us now quickly. No, I'm kidding. Talk about people working too hard for the wrong reasons. So all of this plays into. If you think about this, become conscious about this and even have this work in your subconscious, you won't be working too hard for all the wrong reasons. But do you have any tips and wisdom to share with people to watch for it that that's what they're doing? And in general, why are people working way too hard for all the wrong reasons? Which is making them into this really sad and sick society in my opinion.

Sunday Miller  34:44  
We have been trained to go to school. Get a good education, and get a job. We have not been trained to figure out why we're here. What our gifts and abilities are. What are the things that give us joy and to follow, them. We have been told to follow money. Money is a cold God. But we have set money up, because money supposedly gives us position in society. And it gives us things, toys. And it's like everything else. If you meet someone, what is the first thing they ask you? 

Vonne Solis  35:31  
What do you do?

Sunday Miller  35:33  
What do you do? Because then they want to know, okay, how much respect do I have to give you? Yeah, that's a whole reason. Are you more important than me?

Vonne Solis  35:44  
Yes. And and folks. Listen, I just want to step in here for a second. If you have gone through some struggle, real adversity or any loss, and you're not doing anything at the moment, it makes you feel like you are not part of society. And never can be. Because you can't keep up at the level that we're expected to in terms of position, physical power, and worth, in every way that we can contribute to society. And boy, did I go through that for a number of years. Right? I love what you said. So what would you say to the people who aren't as accomplished. Can't go to university. Can't get that degree. There's a lot of people that will never experience what that's like. The reality is there are low level jobs.

Sunday Miller  36:38  
And there are those who enjoy doing those low level jobs. There's nothing wrong with you doing it, if you enjoy doing it. It's another thing to be doing it because you have no other option.

Vonne Solis  36:48  
That's the group I'm speaking to. 

Sunday Miller  36:50  
Right. And I would say you do. The only reason why you're saying you don't have any other options is because you don't know what you're gifted to do. 

Vonne Solis  36:58  
Okay.

Sunday Miller  36:58  
You don't know what your ability is. That's why I say you need to figure it out. Who are you? What, what were you brought into the world with? Are you creative? There are people who enjoy serving people. .There are those who enjoy cooking and feeding people. There are those who who enjoy making things. And there are those who are administrators. They really just like, you know, to to make plans. There are those who just want to deal with numbers. What is your gifting? What gives you joy? What is the thing that when you when you're doing it, you're feeling so at peace. So contented. That's your gifting. 

Sunday Miller  37:33  
I look at it this way. One position that I had, we worked with young people who are intellectually challenged. So many of these had amazing gifts. Amazing gifts. And I know that parents had them in the program, because they were concerned, what are they going to do after high school? What are they going to do after high school? And in my mind, I'm thinking they can have their own home-based business. They can hire accountants. They don't have to do the accounting. They've got an amazing gift that will enable them to live independently. But people didn't see it. Because all they saw was that this is not someone who can get a university degree or college diploma. And, and my response is, we need to get away from that. We need to say, what does the person bring to the table? Is it compassion? I mean, what is it? And the thing is, there are people who are doing jobs because it pays the most money. And they hate it. You know, the statistics, I believe, indicate that around 70% of people hate their job.

Vonne Solis  38:48  
Wow, I'm not surprised. And so it's that 70%. We're talking to you. And I want to just make it very, very clear. I am not judging anyone in a lower level job. I have done them myself. What we're talking about is if you hate it, like I did. I worked in a in a gas station. But you know what? I loved, it was actually just after my daughter died. And I I felt I had to save our family financially because my husband was you know, working for himself and he had to take a bit of time off work and stuff like this. And I was panicking. I have PTSD and I was panicking. And anyways, so I thought you know, my minimum wage job at the time 7.75 an hour I think it was. Working at this our core, our village gas station. But you know, I loved, it was a little liquor store as well. And I loved running the bottles through the scanner. And I don't know. Maybe, I don't know what it was, but I just loved that feeling. 

Vonne Solis  39:46  
So I moved from there and I went into a grocery store, thinking I must love cashiering. Well, I didn't. And I really didn't. So it obviously something else was going on for me with the liquor bottles. Then I went and I was a support worker. A personal support worker. None of these are glorified jobs. And in fact, all of them were low paying. But it all led me to build confidence and understand and have the faith that you talked about, that somewhere deep inside me, was still a person of worth and value and intellect. And just because other people couldn't see it. So I'll tell you something that I learned from that. When you're forced to wear a certain colour t shirt. So in the gas station, it was this drab green thing. Customers treat you what they expect you to be. In my case, not educated. Only worth a minimum wage job. And there was zero respect for me. Now, not everybody treated me like that. But we remember the ones that do more than the ones that don't. 

Vonne Solis  40:56  
But it was more that what you said earlier. We're taught how to be who we are in almost any given moment, unless you wise up to it. And I struggled to understand that, while that job, and I worked with people, that was their career. That's what they did, and they loved it. But that wasn't me. And my soul, and my spirit was crying out for respect. You know? And so I've been there. I'm not paying lip services, and my guess Sunday is you've had your own experiences. You're not paying lip service to this. So any situation you find yourself in that's not bringing you something that you feel aligned with. It doesn't even have to be pure joy at this moment, does it? 

Sunday Miller  41:43  
Nope.

Vonne Solis  41:44  
Just a recognition this isn't me. So what can they do? The people that are struggling right now and you just said 70% are miserable or hate their job. 

Sunday Miller  41:58  
Yeah. Well, number one, they have to get honest with themselves. You can't change anything for the better if you're not going to walk in truth. And the first one you have to be honest with is yourself. And so you have to number one, ask yourself, What am I good at? And ask your friends. What do you think I'm good at? You know, and admit to yourself what I'm not good at. And that you don't like doing. You have to be honest and upfront with that. And then you have to just, once you compile it, do a spreadsheet. And I'm in the process of putting together a spreadsheet that I'm gonna have available on my website to help people identify their giftings or their abilities. Because there are so many things. You've got administrative. You've got service. You've got, I mean, there's all of these different areas where you might fit in. And I'm going to try and put a spreadsheet together that's going to identify all of these different things that you could be doing. And maybe it means that these are your strengths. Your areas of strength. Management, administration, service, you know, and so on, and so forth. And you have to figure it out, what is it that I want to do? And also ask yourself, what kind of an environment do you want to work in? What's important? Like, is it important that you don't have an office with a window?

Vonne Solis  43:21  
If the goal is to find who you are, what you're good at and what you don't like to do, because that's just as important eliminating. And then if you are choosing to work for someone else, so it's finding a company that is aligned, hopefully with our own values. And I think that's rare. Is it rare?

Sunday Miller  43:39  
I think you can find it, but you're gonna have to do the research. And then if you find a company that has values similar to yours, if you're honest with yourself, and identify truly what your values are, then you have to, you know, do the research. Find that company, and then find out whether they actually have any positions available. And one of the things that I have found is that sometimes they've got the values listed, but their actions and their activities and the culture is not supporting those values. Because they're doing what they need to do for the bottom line.

Sunday Miller  43:49  
Yes. And are some of them doing it to attract the employee? Get the employee in, and then yeah, we're really not like that. 

Sunday Miller  44:20  
Well, I'm working with smaller companies, but I have to be honest and say the pandemic has caused a lot of people to be either on short term disability or retired or gone for different reasons. Yeah.

Vonne Solis  44:38  
Yeah. So there's some kind of shift going on. Let me ask you this, Sunday, are you seeing quite a shift in business practices and people leaving jobs because of the pandemic? 

Sunday Miller  44:52  
Yes. I have. Yeah.

Vonne Solis  44:53  
Do you think a lot of people became entrepreneurs? Switched jobs? What's happened?

Sunday Miller  44:58  
I think some switched jobs. Others, I know their comment was, I didn't sign on for this.

Vonne Solis  45:07  
Do you think the way we're doing business is changing? 

Sunday Miller  45:11  
Yeah. It's changing but I don't know that it's changing for the better. And the only reason why I say that is because I'm no longer convinced that the benefit to humanity or the wellbeing of humanity is the number one goal. I do believe, unfortunately, that money has become so important in our culture and society, that businesses will do whatever they have to do for the bottom line. Even if it does mean people are harmed.

Vonne Solis  45:42  
So we're speaking generalities here. We're not saying all business is like this. Wasn't money always the bottom line for companies?

Sunday Miller  45:51  
Yeah, yeah. You don't go into business to lose money. You go into make money. But it would seem to me that you were willing to abide by your core values a bit more.

Vonne Solis  46:06  
So we've lost those.

Sunday Miller  46:07  
Yeah. I think they got put to the side. And I think the reason part of that happened with the pandemic, is because so many things that especially in the Western world, we believe would never have been violated. That they would have been sacrosanct were violated.

Vonne Solis  46:28  
Can you just give a quick example?

Sunday Miller  46:31  
Well, I don't know that anybody would have thought that they would have been forced to get a vaccine.

Vonne Solis  46:39  
Or lose their job because they didn't.

Sunday Miller  46:41  
Lose their job or not be allowed to travel. Because that's, that is a human rights issue. So one would never have thought that in Western society, that people's human rights en masse would have been violated. And I think because that happened that caused a switch. It's down. It's underneath. But it filters out You have to look at the results. You know, I'm a scientist. You do something, what are the results? The results speak for themselves. I mean, you know, if you put this in motion. If you're going to drop this ball, gravity's going to do what it does. It's going to take it down. 

Vonne Solis  47:22  
Yeah. 

Sunday Miller  47:22  
And so when you put certain things in motion, there are repercussions to that. And I think

Vonne Solis  47:30  
Well we're in a, we're in a mental health crisis.

Sunday Miller  47:32  
Yes, everywhere. Because of what's been done. And it's a form of demoralizing of people, which makes it really difficult for people to go inside and find out who they are. It's like, it's everything's been put in place to prevent people from becoming their best selves. Because if you become your best self, then you are not going to allow yourself to be a victim and be controlled.

Sunday Miller  47:57  
That's right. So the question is, who's the one thinking they're holding all the control today? 

Sunday Miller  47:58  
Well, that's the good question, isn't it? 

Vonne Solis  48:01  
You know? And when there is any crisis, one would think that if we're already in crisis, we're already victims.

Sunday Miller  48:19  
But, we can change it, the reality of it is, chaos is a great opportune moment for either a dictatorship, totalitarianism, and abuse of people in general. And I would have a tendency to say that what we've gone through over the last three years has been chaos and fear. And with fear, you can control. Chaos and fear controls. But also chaos and fear prevents a person from going within because they're just looking at the surface. They're seeing the surface as the issue. It's, it's what we can see.

Vonne Solis  48:55  
And aren't we just too busy trying to survive? 

Sunday Miller  48:58  
Yes. And that's the whole point. You can't thrive. We want you to just survive. Now, we, the ones who are doing this, we want to thrive. But we want to thrive by making sure that you don't.

Vonne Solis  49:14  
Yeah, well, I think one of the institutions that must believe they're in control is our media. What they feed us and it's a wonder most of us can sleep at night when we're thinking about all the things that could go wrong in the world. 

Vonne Solis  49:26  
So we're at the top of the hour Sunday and you and I could just go on and on and on and we can't. I want to leave people with, I think the focus of this episode has largely been around you don't have to be powerless. You are powerful. You don't have to be a victim. You can make choices to get yourself out of anything. There are solutions. Let's close on the reality is in the unseen. You already alluded to that in the beginning. But let's leave people with some hope. Because, you know, the thing is we can have these discussions, and then we'll go back to our lives. And for those of us that are living comfortably, and you know, whatever, we can be grateful and appreciate it and all the rest of it. But that's not what this is about. This is about remembering times that were difficult. We've all come from something. So let's talk about the reality is in the unseen.

Sunday Miller  50:24  
Yes. So as I said earlier, we're three parts. We're body, soul, and spirit. And the soul and spirit is eternal. And when I say that the reality is in the unseen, the reality is truly the unseen. It's what's going to last forever. And it's not your body. It's what you think and it's what you feel. And it's what you are connected to. What you're allowing your thoughts and your feelings to be connected to.

Sunday Miller  50:51  
My belief is that there is a power higher than us. And there's a power lower than us. And we can choose which power we connect to. If we connect to the power that's higher than us, then that power will help us to become the best that we can be. That power will help give us insight and wisdom, and help us navigate. And will help us solve the crises that are going on all around us. But we have to be able to be open to the power that's above us. If we choose to go towards the lower power, it will take us down. Because that power is all about stealing, killing and destroying. And I think just by looking at what we have in our society, we have a little bit too much of that going on.

Sunday Miller  51:47  
My response is, I know that for myself, when I am confused, and I don't know what I'm doing, you have to have a quiet time. You have to take time and go sit someplace quiet. It can be in the woods. I love being in the woods. In the woods, I can commune with nature, and I can connect with the higher power. And so my response is that you need to find a place where you can be quiet with no interruptions. And you need to go in and you need to pour your heart out in truth and honesty. It's like, it's like having a pipe that you want the water to flow through. You want the creativity. You want the love. You want the compassion. You want it to flow through, but it's all clogged up. It's clogged up with with anger, and jealousy and resentment and hurt. And the higher power, the love, and it will actually wash those things out. But you've got to be able to get to a place where you can connect with the power, so it can cleanse you.

Vonne Solis  52:53  
Mm hmm. I 100, yeah. I 100% agree. Yeah. So for those of us that have been in this type of practice for many decades, years, I just want to let people know, this isn't an overnight process. Getting to this place where you can quickly center yourself. Where you can quickly make better choices. Where you understand you're so connected to yourself, you understand when you're out of alignment. This is a process, but I promise you, when you just kick start it more and more and more, you know, opportunity comes in for you to practice making this you know, a very precision-oriented, type way of getting yourself back to balance. 

Vonne Solis  53:41  
So this has been great Sunday. My goodness.

Sunday Miller  53:45  
Pleasure.

Vonne Solis  53:46  
My goodness. I went to your website godsunconsulting.com. 

Sunday Miller  53:51  
Yeah. 

Vonne Solis  53:52  
And there's a wealth of information there Sunday that you've provided for people. What are your resources?

Sunday Miller  54:01  
I'm actually working at trying to assist people with identifying core values. I'm working with organizations that they actually want to revamp, take a step back and say, Okay, what is our focus? What are we doing? And is it lining up with who we say we are? And on the website, you probably saw my newsletter who showed the interconnectedness between spirituality, leadership and business. And so there's information there and a couple of resources and links, you know that people can read if they want to get some more information.

Vonne Solis  54:33  
And a way to contact you, they can find that as well on the website. People can sign up for your newsletter, which I'm sure you're going to be providing thought provoking content. Did you want to just speak very briefly to your study?

Sunday Miller  54:47  
Yes. I create Bible studies. And I did one and it was called Abraham Patriarchal Faith. And I did it because he has been used as the foundational person that people, like the Muslims, the Jewish people, the Christians. A lot of people identify him as someone who exhibited faith. Someone who came from a background of being an idol worshiper and producing them to someone who had strong faith and he was blessed. And so the whole study is to look at his life and how did he go from someone who was controlled, and maybe even a victim. Someone who was very insecure, and frightened to a very powerful man? And so it's basically his growth and development. I was talking to someone who had actually done the study with me. And she said, it changed my life. She goes, I've realized she goes and listening to her words, she goes, I realized, I no longer had to be a victim.

Vonne Solis  55:53  
Wow, it sounds powerful Sunday.

Sunday Miller  55:56  
You have to do the work. Like you know, I tell you what to read. I ask you the questions. But it's where you have to unpack it. See, that's the only way we can grow. We have to unpack truth for ourselves. Otherwise, it's just information. And information doesn't necessarily lead to transformation. But revelation leads to transformation.

Vonne Solis  56:17  
I love that. And I, why we're so afraid of ourselves, I don't know. But, you know, it's a really fun, adventurous journey finding out who you are. And every step of the way. Because stuff happens and we have to keep revisiting that because we do change. Those of us on this path, we do change and transform. I just really feel if there's no introspection, you can't change. Life's happening to you, not for you.

Sunday Miller  56:47  
That's right. I'm toying around throwing out the idea of doing a zoom with the study. And, yeah, and just getting a group of people and then having this interactive.

Vonne Solis  56:59  
Oh, that'd be so exciting because community is so important today. Anyway, Sunday, this has been amazing. I just feel really just inspired from having the conversation. So I do want to thank you so so much for coming on my podcast. 

Sunday Miller  57:15  
Yeah. Thank you so much Vonne for inviting me. And it was a great conversation. 

Vonne Solis  57:21  
Oh, it was so much fun. Okay, thanks again.


Welcome
Meet Sunday
How spiritual impacts business
What we focus on
What are our thoughts connected to?
The healthy soul
Destiny and free will
The story of two brothers
Abuse and victimization
Racism
Choice
Mind, Will, Emotions
Why we're working too hard
Rise of the changing job culture
Choosing your power
Sunday's resources
Closing