Grief Talk w/ Vonne Solis

Ep. 43 How to Free Yourself from Trapped Emotions w/ Vibrational Healing

June 14, 2023 Vonne Solis/Permelia Parham Season 3 Episode 43
Grief Talk w/ Vonne Solis
Ep. 43 How to Free Yourself from Trapped Emotions w/ Vibrational Healing
Show Notes Transcript

In this episode, meet my guest Permelia Parham. Permelia made a major life change 20 years ago when she left a failing marriage and had to start over with her 3 kids. That’s not easy for anyone. It takes guts and determination. Permelia had both.  In this episode, learn what motivated Permelia to make the change and how synchronistic events led her to the work she does today as both a Certified Body Code and Emotion Code Practitioner and Vibrational Healing Practitioner.

Not only will you feel inspired by Permelia’s story, but you’ll gain tools and practices to take charge of your life every step of your journey. If you are an energy practitioner, learn more about The Healing Institute, founded by Permelia that connects clients with practitioners globally.

0:00    Welcome
0:32    Meet Permelia
3:29    Body Code & Emotion Code
7:30    Law of Attraction & Vibration
13:11  Personal Power
15:14  Our bodies are very smart
17:35  Epidemic of mental illness
20:04  What is wellness?
23:48  Trapped emotions
26:19  How to sustain a positive outlook
28:14  What is energy?
31:15  Do you want to be happy or right?
35:08  Soul energy
40:40  Reincarnation
45:33  I'm doing this - jumping off the cliff
50:01  Feeling change in your body
53:54  The Healing Institute
58:13  Connect with Permelia
58:29  Closing
59:21  End

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Permelia Parham  0:00  
Welcome to another episode of Grief Talk. Everything you want to know about grief and more. I'm your host, Vonne Solis. As an author, life transformation coach, online instructor and bereaved mom since 2005, I'll be bringing you great content that is informative, inspiring and practical. Whether you have suffered a loss or other adversity, stay tuned and tapped in as I cover a variety of topics to help you get where you want to go on your journey to heal and grow. 

Vonne Solis  0:32  
Taoday's guest is Permelia Parham. As principal and founder of both Vibrational Healing and The Healing Institute, Permelia is a certified Body Code and Emotion Code Practitioner and certified Vibrational Healing Practitioner assisting clients in finding and keeping their energetic balance. In this episode, you'll learn about trapped emotions, the soul code and how you can start to release any negative energy vibration holding you back. 

Vonne Solis  1:00  
Okay, so welcome to the show Permelia. I am so excited to finally have you on it.

Permelia Parham  1:06  
Well, thank you very much Vonne. I'm excited to be here today.

Vonne Solis  1:10  
Yes. We're going to cover a lot of stuff. As I said in the introduction, you know, for the audience, Permelia works as a Body Code and Emotional Code practitioner as well as a Vibrational Healing practitioner. So we're going to be talking all about that kind of work today, along which is in the energy field, of course. And so if you would like to just jump right in Permelia. I thought I'm not going to do a long intro on this episode, because it's pretty clear what we want to talk about. But if you want to explain a little bit about how you did come to do the work that you do. And I am fascinated, as I'm sure others are to learn what Body Code and Emotional Code work is all about.

Permelia Parham  1:57  
Absolutely. Well, it's very interesting you asked me that question is how it came about. So I was just very curious about 20 years ago. I wasn't 100% happy in my relationship that I had was in at the time, and I was searching. So I knew, I'd not done enough reading that I knew only I could make myself happy. Nobody else could make myself happy, make me happy. So I wasn't looking outside of myself. So I knew I had to do some work inside. And fortuitously I met a woman that I ended up studying under for eight years. And she was an energy worker. A Reiki Master. She knew all about vibration and energy, which I didn't know that much about at the time. So studying under her, I learned all about that. And then that just led me on the journey towards when I was introduced to the Emotion Code, which is kind of the first level. That was probably seven years ago, six or seven years ago now. It made perfect sense to me because I knew about vibration. I knew about law of attraction. I knew about the you know, the vibe you give out is the vibe you're gonna get back. And I knew how about our auras and our energy field. Our chakras being though keeping those in balance and in line. And, and so the Emotion Code just made complete sense to me. 

Permelia Parham  3:29  
Now, the Emotion Code is developed by Dr. Bradley Nelson. And that's kind of the first level and then The Body Code is the second level. So the Emotion Code is looking at all the chart of 60 emotions that Dr. Bradley Nelson put together. And they, he calls them trapped emotions. So I kind of refer to them as balls of negative energy that can be stuck in your subconscious, but they can also be stuck in your body. And then when I started studying The Body Code after I'd been certified in the Emotion Code, it made perfect sense to me because you're looking at everything that's going on in the body. So you're looking at organs and you're looking at glands. Looking at systems. All the systems. Digestive system, immune system, nervous system. And we just kind of when we're looking for what trapped emotion or what part of the body is being imbalanced, we just kind of zero in. So we muscle test to find out exactly what is going on and what's happening. Now part of the process is that the client gives me as the as the practitioner permission to connect with their subconscious. So the client and I are working together with their subconscious. I'm kind of the channel. 

Vonne Solis  4:46  

Permelia Parham  4:46  
That's why I'm very blessed that I can do this work over the phone or over Zoom. And so the three pieces and this is why it made so much sense to me, is looking at the subconscious which is really true to who we are. So all our emotions and all of our all of our memories. And then when we muscle test again, our muscles are very true to who we are. So people have probably seen the strong arm test where you say, or sway test. So you say your name and, and your arm stays strong. And if you say a different name, your arm goes weak. Well, that's your muscles, and that's your muscles being true to who you are. And then to release the trapped emotion, because then, you know, I understood the electromagnetic field and our aura. So we actually run a magnet. And I'm doing the work because I'm my clients proxy, they've given me permission. So I run the magnet over my governing meridian that is stronger than the trapped emotion. So we keep it up, we double check again, with you know, with muscle testing. Did we release it? Yes, we released it. Is there anything more we need to know? You might want to find out what age you were when that trapped emotion got trapped in your body. It might be an event that you remember. And you might not remember. It doesn't matter. You don't have to. If you remember the age you were that that particular event or accident or whatever happened then it kind of makes sense to you as to why you got that trapped emotion. And there's different types of trapped emotions. So there's ones you can inherit. You inherit them from your father's side of the family, your mother's side of the family. You can, one's called prenatal, which means something was going on with your mother when she was pregnant with you, and you got the trapped emotion. I never I never really think that's fair. But

Vonne Solis  6:35  
Yeah, but passed in utero, right? 

Permelia Parham  6:38  
Yeah, exactly.

Permelia Parham  6:40  
So you can absorb trapped emotions from people. There's one called the heart wall. And so what happens is our subconscious puts up a wall around our heart really to protect our heart emotionally. If we get any emotions trapped in that wall, then we can have issues with all different kinds of relationships, and also success in life.

Vonne Solis  7:04  
So here's a question. Like, basically, who wouldn't have trapped emotions?

Permelia Parham  7:10  
Yes. Dr. Brad says we all have hundreds of trapped emotions. And of course, you know, the older we are, the longer we've lived.

Vonne Solis  7:17  
Right. So I'm just curious, really quickly. Are you familiar with the work of David Hawkins? 

Permelia Parham  7:22  
Oh, definitely. 

Vonne Solis  7:23  
Yeah, yeah. 

Permelia Parham  7:24  
He's on my bookcase.

Vonne Solis  7:24  
So he used the muscle testing and so, but he was working completely, you know, with the emotions when you're experiencing negative like, like, you know. They go for right from the negative. His scale, and all of that was so amazing and it sure helped me in my early grief. So emotions, the more positive the higher the vibration. The lower the emotion, the more negative the feelings, the the lower the vibration. And I have believed for years and years and years and years, that just like, obviously, your work, which we're going to be talking more about, that whatever level we are functioning at, at that, you know, is is the vibration? Yeah, it's either going to bring us up and we're going to feel light and wonderful, or it's, it's really going to be low and heavy, and I believe causes all sorts of illness, disability, limitation, and so on.

Vonne Solis  7:30  
Well, and that's the law of attraction. The Law of Attraction is what vibration you give out is the vibration you get back. One of my good friends who teaches that all the time, he says: The Law of Attraction is not very smart, but it's very obedient. That vibration is going to you're going to attract whatever vibration you have. You know, my teacher that I studied under, she always encouraged us to think about us living at our highest level of consciousness. And she used to say, you know, your only one person but as you raise your own level of consciousness, you end up raising the level of consciousness of the world.

Vonne Solis  8:57  
I believe that and I've believed that for decades. My journey started in the early 80s, around 1980, 82. And Shakti Gawain and a few others at that time were creative visualization and all of that stuff. And so that has been in my consciousness for decades. It can sometimes feel very challenging Permelia, when we see all the trouble in the world. So what is your advice? I'll just say advice for people who may believe in this. Believe in our high vibration. How can we trust that it is actually impacting the world with all the stuff we see going on in the world that just never seems to be changing away from, I know it's not all violent. But like anything else, sometimes the dark and negative feels like, I'm not saying it's true, but feels like it's overtaking the light and the goodness. So how do we trust that it's actually having an impact on world consciousness? If you can answer it. Just your own opinion and your own experience with it, you know.

Permelia Parham  10:06  
I just do what I can do for me. I make sure that I'm thinking as many positive things as possible. There's certain things I don't have in my life anymore because that brings my vibration down. So for example, I haven't read a mainstream newspaper probably for over 20 years. Mainly, because I think most of the news is to catch people's eyes and to sell newspapers is very negative. And also the same on, you know, I'll watch maybe our local British Columbia news every now and again, but very, very rarely, and it doesn't seem to be as negative. And I think you just need to be aware of the fact that that type of negative news has a low vibration.

Vonne Solis  11:00  
 For sure.

Permelia Parham  11:00  
So if you're inundated with watching it on a regular basis over and over again, that is going to bring your vibration down. You know, we just need to do the best we can do as individuals. And, you know, I'm still disturbs me when I see, you know, places like, like Turkey, that have all the, you know, have all the earthquakes. It concerns me, of course, as a citizen, you know, that, that Russia invaded Ukraine, but I can't do anything other than send them love and think of okay. You know, the more the more of us who are consciously being aware of the good in the world, rather then concentrating on the negative and the evil in the world. Not to say that there's not because I'm, I'm, I recognize that there is. And, you know, I'm a Course of Miracles student. So the Course of Miracles says that we are in this world. We're not of this world. And as Course in Miracles talks about being of the world, it's like the bigger world. Not our own small one.

Vonne Solis  12:15  

Permelia Parham  12:16  
As we can have influence in that world.

Vonne Solis  12:19  
You can think of it, if you're referring sort of to infinity or beyond, like we're not, it's not just exclusive to our planet. Like we come from so much more, even though we may not exactly know or agree our origins. There's just so much more. And it's that so much more we have to believe in and function from and trust in, to have these wonderful experiences in our life that I like to sometimes say others call luck. Which it isn't. 

Permelia Parham  12:48  
Well, and faith. We have to have faith.

Vonne Solis  12:50  
And faith. Thank you! I should know that. 

Permelia Parham  12:52  
And I don't mean faith from a religious point of view. 

Vonne Solis  12:55  

Permelia Parham  12:55  
I just mean faith in having faith that, yes, whatever path you're on is the path you shouldn't be on. Or if you don't feel you should be on it, then you need to do something to change that. And have faith that that is, for your very best.

Vonne Solis  13:11  
A big portion of my work is in personal power. And people can call it anything they want. Center of power and other things. Different names have come to me recently in having guests on the show, and so on. But we have to be invested in our lives. And we have to have some you know, you have to take action. And to me it comes from mind. So thoughts are so important. And this has been around forever. And you know, you and I know all this and I think people who are new to this will understand this too. And I've always felt myself, if you can't always maintain high vibration anything, it's okay, as long as you can get yourself back there when you're out of it. Because we are human. And I spent a long time and I think, I don't know if you did, and if you have ever encountered this as a challenge in your life, but as I'll just say, light workers. As people who have led for a long, long time and studied and you know, taught and so on. You know, sometimes we can get a little bit waylaid and think that we're supposed to be these beings that don't have problems.

Permelia Parham  14:18  
But, but we're human.

Vonne Solis  14:21  
And illnesses and frustrations and oops, maybe said the odd swear word or something. No, but you know, I'm but seriously. And you're right. So that's I just wanted to touch on that a little bit. We're still human. I did want to go back to the trapped emotions just for a moment for audience members watching this or listening to this. So what are some signs that we can look for? And I'm actually really curious about this too. That we got some trapped emotions going on within us. And further to that, I mean, I understand we can come to a practitioner like yourself and zero in on it and go here it is. Here it is it's in this area. Let's cleanse it let's we'll transform it with whatever is happening there. Raising the vibration and so on. But how can they be on guard for this just initially to sort of figure out who that might be what's going on with me. I need to I need to look into this. 

Permelia Parham  15:14  
Well, if you're having any kind of physical, emotional, mental, or even spiritual imbalances or issues, or you're just really not, you're not happy with your life, we're really here to be joyful. We didn't show up, you know, as babies, everybody, you don't show up being mean and cranky. I truly believe we're meant to be in joy. And so if you're not in joy then why? Why are you not in joy? So if you have some physical pain, it's probably probably 100% due to trapped emotion. 

Permelia Parham  15:49  
People think that this is just us. Our physical body, and they don't think of us as energy and vibration. And we are. We're totally made up of molecules, energy vibration, and our bodies are very, very smart. Our bodies will tell us. So if you've got some physical pain, your body's telling you something's not right. If you've got some emotional pain, then something's not right. If you've got some mental pain, something's not right. Spiritually, if you're not feeling content, then be curious. Be curious. Find out. 

Permelia Parham  16:22  
That's what happened to me over 20 years ago. I just wanted to be be more joyful in myself. And so I knew I had to look within first, and I had to do some work. 

Vonne Solis  16:33  
Yeah, yeah for sure. 

Permelia Parham  16:35  
You know, in our society, it's kind of a quick-fix pill society that's supposed to, you know, make everything okay. Well, really, you know, we have to do our own work. We have to be introspective. And I really thought that the pandemic helped that. When everybody had to stay home for a while, I really thought that, okay, now, there's a reason that that everything is. And I do truly believe, there's lots of people I've met, who who actually, that did happen for them. They they had the time to be a bit more introspective and start looking at am I happy in my job? No. Well, what do I want to do to change that? Am I happy in my relationship? No. Well, what do I want to do to change that? Rather than looking at outside things to make them happy.

Vonne Solis  17:22  
I hope that with a return to even a semblance of what we were before that people can keep whatever they ended up benefiting from in being with themselves.

Permelia Parham  17:35  
I read a lot and I listen to a lot of podcasts. And when I say read a lot, I mean books. I read books from spiritual leaders of some kind. And I know that there's an epidemic of mental illness that is going on. And so you know, as a society, we really need to address that. We really need to look at okay, what is it that's happening in our society? You know, there's, there's a reason that it's now being more prevalent.

Vonne Solis  18:01  
Yeah. I was actually talking to somebody yesterday and considered a young millennial. And so I have a 30 year old son. And so I just wanted to know, and so I asked this person, what are you struggling with? Do you agree that there's basically a mental health epidemic? Yes! What are you struggling with? Safety, and security mostly. We mostly identify safety and security with shelter, obviously, finances and so on. So their whole world because they don't have anything to compare it to, like some of us who remember the Cold War as children. 

Permelia Parham  18:46  

Vonne Solis  18:47  
Right? And, you know, Kennedy getting shot and that, I mean, I was, you know, around six, seven, when he when he was killed and heard the words Cuba and missiles, but you know, didn't really understand obviously. But you would be feeling those tensions of your parents and so on and so forth. So it was very very interesting for me what the millennials and I haven't had a chance to talk to Zoomers, but what, what they're really feeling. And I and I asked this person I said, is the war real for you? Like, it's not just something you're seeing on the internet? Very real. So, yeah. We're not going to solve this but the supports have to be in place. One of my biggest issues I have in general and culturally, professionally. For the professionals involved in some of these industries. Health and you know, medical. You can't just mouth the problem. You have to put the supports in place to address it. And that's why I honestly, I think the way we haven't fixed anything is because because we haven't got the understanding, the money and the means to support the problems. If there is any of it, which there will be some, it's not enough to address epidemic levels. What do you feel about that Permelia?

Permelia Parham  20:04  
You know, I think that we have to as a society we have to really look at what is wellness? What is, what is our health journey? What does that mean? And for way too long, I say we've been a reactive illness society. We haven't been a proactive wellness society. We've only reacted to whether it's physical illness, mental illness, emotional illness, whatever. We've only as a society done something as a reaction. We haven't looked at it being proactive. What can we do? And what can we put in place for for people so that they're not going to become ill? Whether it's physical, emotional, or mental. So you know, of course, with The Healing Institute that I know we're not talking about that yet, we have 30, holistic practitioners. They're looking at what is the root cause of them not feeling feeling well physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually? What is causing that? And there's just so many amazing holistic modalities out there. I probably have, you know, with the 30 practitioners I have, we probably have 80 or more modalities. People don't know that. And so that's why I call it an Institute. Because I'm really passionate about educating people what is available and what's out there. And what can you do? Don't wait to get sick. What can you put in place? Whether it's your energy balance, and I know you're going to talk a little bit about that. Looking at what makes you joyful? Is it a walk in the spring sunshine? Is it, you know what, doing a little bit of exercise? Whatever it is that makes you joyful then you need to know that and you need to find ways to make you joyful.

Vonne Solis  21:48  
Yeah. If you look at a majority here, we don't even understand culturally emotional intelligence, let alone emotional, quote, ill health. We don't even understand it. We don't talk about it.

Permelia Parham  22:03  
I think that's the biggest barrier, Vonne is that we have to now start talking about it. We have to have the hard conversations. And we need to bring that to the forefront. Because there's no point burying it. And I know, you know, the generations that I've grown up with. My grandfather, my mother's father, he fought at Vimy Ridge in the First World War. My father, he was in the Navy. He was in the Second World War and also went to the the Korean conflict. They don't call it a war. But anyway, he went there twice. And so those men and women, they came back shell shocked, which we now know, is PTSD. And they didn't talk about it. So there, there was behaviors that that were created, because they didn't speak about it, because it was it was too hard for them to speak about. And of course, you know, we didn't understand how emotions work and how that could create physical issues, as well as mental issues. We know way more now. But we have to be proactive. We've got to step into our power and we need to be able to teach people how they can survive. 

Permelia Parham  23:11  
You know, now, of course, we have a lot of issues and a lot of trauma and, and lots of anxiety that's going on. Different kinds of anxiety. But you know, one of the things I often think about and I ask questions is, okay, what kind of TV shows do you watch? Do you watch violent TV shows? What kind of video games do you play, if you play video games? Is that Is it you know, all the games that I ever see that pop up on my phone when I'm playing solitaire is something's shooting somebody at something. I worry about our generations who have grown up with that and think that that's normal.

Vonne Solis  23:48  
Yeah. Well, you know, just as a quick aside. They're they're now doctors, researchers are now actually coming up with the evidence of the first generation of babies, children, you know, teens, etc, that have grown up with devices in their hands. And the news is not good, folks. I just want to go back quickly to Dr. Nelson's 60 emotions. 

Permelia Parham  24:12  

Vonne Solis  24:12  
And the reason I wanted to pop back really quickly here, was he referencing there to the 60 most common negative emotions that would be trapped? Because I was given a list of all the emotions. And I looked at this list, and I worked with it actually, in my last book I wrote, and I found that the majority of them were negative. I'm like, Well, where are all the positive emotions? Where are they? And sure there was there joy in all contentment, and this that the other, but the negatives by far outweighed the positives. This was from a psychologist. I was given this standardized, emotional list. So in his 60 he takes, is that kind of like the the most common negative ones that could be trapped? 

Permelia Parham  24:59  
No. There's no positive ones. 

Vonne Solis  25:00  
So, unfortunately, but this is kind of an interesting point. Do we not hold positive emotions in us?

Permelia Parham  25:09  
Yeah, but what he's talking about is these negative and I call them negative balls of energy, they're the ones that play havoc in our system. If we have positive emotions, that's great. So we're gonna feel better. But if we've got these negative emotions that you might not even know that they, you know, this negative emotion, as I say is running the show, you may not know why you feel depressed. You might not know why you're feeling anxious. I'm just saying to your audience, don't just accept it. Don't just accept it. And don't just take medication because that's only going to cover it up. Find out why? Why are you feeling depressed? Why are you feeling anxious? What is the root cause of that?

Vonne Solis  25:48  
So I get that, but I'm just really curious. So clearly, the energy, the negative balls are transformed into something joyous and wonderful and positive. But here's the thing. What I'm really, because I have yet to meet anyone that can sustain and is sustaining or maintaining positive emotions all the time, yet we can negative ones, why can't we do that yet with positive ones? 

Permelia Parham  26:19  
The answer? We can sustain our positive outlook on our life and our positive emotions. That's what I was saying earlier. You've got to find out what it is that makes you joyful. What is it? I mean for 20 years, I've done a morning practice of meditation and yoga. And any of the, you know, people out there that are talking about practices, they always say the morning one is is very, very important. And so, you know, I've included making sure that I felt like my energy was balanced. I know that was something we're going to talk about. I don't jump out of bed and go on my phone, and start to look at my emails. I get up a whole hour early just so I can do this. So it's my practice that I have put into my life, because I know it makes my life better. So it's something you have to think about. 

Vonne Solis  27:08  

Permelia Parham  27:08  
What can you do? And maybe you don't have an hour, that's fine. But give yourself at least five minutes or 10 minutes before you're jumping into your day. Do some kind of meditation. Just sit. You know, you don't even have to, you know, chant or anything like that. Just be. You know, we're human beings. We're not human doings. 

Vonne Solis  27:29  

Permelia Parham  27:30  
We do do do do all the time without being. So you have to think about that. And as I said earlier, I'm a Course in Miracles student so I always have something to read. So I make my tea first thing in the morning after I've done my yoga, meditation. And, and then I start my day after I've done that introspective bit. .But I do that daily. And I do it every morning. Because that helps me maintain my joy.

Vonne Solis  27:57  
How do you describe energy Permelia? And how could a person who's new to this, at any age, think of themselves as energy and trust that they could get themselves at least on the path as a student to balance? 

Permelia Parham  28:14  
Well, that's a great question. And when I was first introduced to the fact that we are made up of vibration, that is our energy. Our aura. Our electromagnetic field. Whatever you want to call it, it is all part of who we are. Not just this physical body. So when I was first introduced to that, when I was studying under my teacher, it was new to me. I had never thought of me being an energetic being. And part of her teaching was how to keep our energy, our positive energy, and how to keep ourselves in balance. And what does that mean balancing your energy? Well, you can do a chant, or you can do what you do in the morning. You have something that you say. It's a practice. That's why it's called a practice. So whatever works for you, just make sure that you've incorporated that. Incorporate that into into your life. And when you do that on a regular basis, you feel more grounded. And what I mean by grounded is that you feel more in balance. Those fluctuations of emotion, you know, I'm still human. So something could come along, and I might go, Oh! Well that's annoying me. Why is that annoying me? But then I ask the question. Why is that annoying me? I just don't get annoyed for the rest of the day and be angry at everybody. I'm like, Okay, I need to know. What was it that actually triggered that and it's making me feel annoyed. 

Permelia Parham  29:46  
So again, that's why I'm saying. Be curious. Ask the questions. Think about, you know, whatever the answer might be. It could be something that you triggered from something that happened in your childhood. But at least you know what it's about. We can get out of balance, like, we're human beings. But you know, as my friend does the Law of Attraction, he says, but just do it for a short time. And we know, if we talk to somebody who's, you know, you say you, you're complaining about something. And then you're talking to your friend or a neighbour, and they're complaining about something, Well, before, you know, you've got this complaining loop going for like another hour. So just be conscious of that. Just be conscious of that negative energy that you're, that you're expressing. I mean, sometimes we need to get it off our chest. That's okay. But, you know, be conscious of what else is going on at the same time.

Vonne Solis  30:39  
Really well, said. And, you know, as simple as this sounds, we do have a choice, the way that we want to respond, or react to our situations, the people in our lives and so on. We live in a duality of almost everything. And certainly choosing to be positive or negative. Feel angry, or, you know, not angry. Accepting. We have full control over how we want to choose to be in our bodies, our minds and our emotions. Would you agree with that Permelia?

Permelia Parham  31:15  
Yeah, absolutely. You know, one of my aha moments when I first started studying energy and vibration, was to come to the terms that whatever I attracted to myself, negative or positive, was my own responsibility. And that was huge for me, because I couldn't blame anybody else. I couldn't blame my parents. I couldn't blame, you know, ex husbands. I couldn't blame anybody. It was like, okay. So if that's the case, is whatever I'm attracting to me, positive or negative. Positive, great. We love to have positive stuff. Well, what if it's negative? It's teaching us a lesson. The negative stuff that has happened in my life, and I've had negative stuff happening, I know it was a lesson. I mean, I didn't at the time just to be clear. But in retrospect, and doing a little bit more study around why that happened, it made perfect sense. That that's why I needed to have that experience. And you know, now in the work that I do, it's great, because I can really empathize with my clients, whatever they're going through, whether it's divorce, or whether it's upheaval, or children leaving home or children passing away, I can be empathetic, because I've had life experiences. And so that's really, really important for I believe us to be more empathetic. I think we can as a society can be way more empathetic for others and take that blame away. The other thing I just want to let people know. So it was another aha moment for me anyway, was the Course in Miracles, it says there's only two emotions. There's love and fear. So what do you want to be? Do you want to be in love or do you want to be in fear? And I think there's another quote that says, Do you want to be happy? Or do you want to be right?

Vonne Solis  33:04  
Yeah. Yeah, I actually agree.

Permelia Parham  33:07  
Is being right, you know, is that going to make for good company? Or would you just rather and not to say that you have to give up and take away your own personal power. Or, you know, obviously, if it's an abusive situation of some kind, you want to make sure that that's not happening.

Vonne Solis  33:24  
No, I think that, you know, we're not talking about relationships at all today. But just to throw it in. I think that any situation, whether it's relationship, a job, area that we're living in. I don't care, whatever it is that you know, we're feeling a little bit stuck, or it feel out of alignment with it, but it's not time to change it,? Because that happens. Still keep learning from it because we can never refine the lessons too much. If you look for a lesson, you'll find it. Trust me.

Permelia Parham  33:56  
Or it'll find you.

Vonne Solis  33:57  
 It'll find you. But I mean, once you've woken up to something, really you can't unawake from it in a specific situation. It's up to us whether we want to dig a little deeper for lessons upon lessons upon lessons. But my experience has taught me you know when you're done with something.

Permelia Parham  34:16  

Vonne Solis  34:17  
You just know. Would you agree? You just know.

Permelia Parham  34:20  
Absolutely. And that's why I say be open and be curious. Because if we're not asking questions, or we're not open to the possibility, and even if we don't know how. The cursed how's. You don't know, you don't need to know how it's going to work. When we don't know how it's going to work, it's fine. Because I say my little finite brain has only got so much cognizance. I don't know what the bigger picture is. I don't know what God wants for me. I don't know what The Universe is looking for. But be open and be curious and be available so that when something might come to you that you haven't considered before, that you think about it or consider it or read about it or do research on it just to have that next level of education around, around what needs to happen. Especially for yourself. Yeah.

Vonne Solis  35:08  
Yeah. When you wake yourself up, you can't go back to sleep, but you can take as long as you want to complete your journey. And, and it never really ends. So no matter how many years you're in it. I'm 40 years in it. I'm telling you, like, I still like to learn and still am learning things. And, you know, maybe just a little bit different context. So I did want to talk to you a little bit here about when you're talking about The Body Code, Emotion Code, you're also talking about it in terms of Soul. Soul energy. And I'm very curious about Soul. Working with Soul is, you know, to be a teacher and so on, that's not my thing. Gary Zukav's book Seat of the Soul was one of my foundational books. And there have been a few other people that you know, write on soul, and, you know, through, you know, practicing hypnosis, like for clients and things like that. Learning from them and stuff. But what's your interpretation of how we can view Soul within the context of this work that you do? Where does Soul fit into this?

Vonne Solis  35:36  
Well, our soul, I truly believe is the root of who we are. And this is only, you know, this is this is a, we're a physical body in a spiritual realm, or a Soul realm. So I believe in past lives. So I believe that this incarnation, this, this physical body will someday no longer be. And, but my soul will come back for another lesson to learn. Whatever haven't learned in this lifetime, my soul will incarnate in another physical body. And so you know, looking at whatever we can heal in this lifetime, then then our soul won't have to heal that in the next lifetime.

Vonne Solis  37:09  
Do you believe, like I've sort of adopted the soul as a tapestry. And all the different incarnations contribute to this one massive thing that I don't even fully understand. So a piece of it comes back. So do you sort of believe in that?

Permelia Parham  37:23  
I can definitely agree with what you're talking about as a tapestry. Our soul is enduring. We come back incarnate as a physical body, but our soul has not changed.

Vonne Solis  37:35  

Permelia Parham  37:35  
It's true to who we are.

Vonne Solis  37:37  
Yeah. I guess what I'm trying to ask is, if you think that there's a piece of our soul that stays with each incarnation. Because if we believe in the after life, so a bereaved dad was telling me, he's actually a communicator with his his son in the after life, and I am with my daughter. And he helped me understand that, you know, because one of the fears is that when someone dies, you're never going to see them again. Or if you believe in reincarnation, that we're going to be like passing ships in the night. And they're going to come back in a physical incarnation and we're out, you know? And so he was sharing with me that, that a medium taught him that the soul was like ripples on the ocean. And each incarnation was like a ripple. And that there would always be a form of his son there in the after life, even if his son came back, you know, and they missed each other as ships passing in the night. And so I like that. And I went, Okay, I kind of like that. So it's just a little aside, talking about the soul. And one way to think that the piece of us lives on in that tapestry with every incarnation. 

Vonne Solis  38:53  
Which is why I believe we've got to do our very best in each one. Even though ironically, we can't remember why we came here. What we came to learn. I don't know if you've taught been taught that. But you know, this is why there's a blank slate. So if we can get in touch with it, and the pieces start to come together, and you can see a pattern to your life, you know? Really like pattern to your life of, oh! I believe we have soul groups, and some might be coming and doing the disability thing. I'm kind of in a suicide one. There's different ones. I'm not saying we only have one, but then you can start to see the pattern and put all the pieces together. And it's actually very, like it's fun, and it's exciting. And it makes us filled with curiosity.

Permelia Parham  39:39  
I think it helps also with our grieving process as well. Right?

Vonne Solis  39:43  
Well, to a point.

Permelia Parham  39:44  
To a point Yeah. So then you can kind of rationalize it. I was taught by my teacher about how to look at the energy from a past lifetime that this incarnation has brought forward. And so one of the offers that I have, that I do with as well as realigning limiting beliefs, is healing past lifetime energy. And it's a very interesting process to find out who you were in a past lifetime. And you can be, you know, you were female in this lifetime. We could have been a male in a past lifetime and with who you're interacting with in this lifetime, whether it's positive or negative, did you have interaction with that person in a past lifetime? And why was that happening? What was going on in this lifetime that is a balance or your karma, whatever you want to call it, is happening in this lifetime?

Vonne Solis  40:40  
100%. One other thing I'm going to quickly throw in there and then I want to move to your story of when you were drowning and saved, because it's kind of you know, saved, you can tell that story. But one thing I just want to share so for people to think about, this is also fun, is I did a week with James Van Praagh. Obviously medium work. And in one of the sessions we did, he took us back to past lives. And we visited I think, five. He was very quick. It was like, boom, boom, boom, but you went right to your death bed. Your transition bed. So who you were, how you were dying, whatever you saw. And so that helped me understand my, in my own personal experience in this incarnation, the bereaved parent thing. Because I visited many lives there where I was either childless, had lost a child. You know, there was poverty. It doesn't really matter, but it connects. So that's also a really fun thing to think about having done.

Permelia Parham  41:45  
 I think it helps to, for us to understand why, why a certain thing has happened. 

Vonne Solis  41:52  
Yes. That and soul contracts okay?

Permelia Parham  41:55  
Yeah. That and soul contracts. Exactly. 

Vonne Solis  41:57  
Yeah. I know a little bit about that one. Okay, so let's talk about your really interesting awareness of your near drowning at age two, and who saved you? That is so cool.

Permelia Parham  42:14  
So this is something I had been told all my life. We were at a beach by a lake, here on Vancouver Island where I live. And my mom, my uncles, were there and my, my, they were always, you know, they were all always fooling around. And so they were gonna throw my mom into the lake. And so they, you know, were had her, she was very tiny. So they were able to pick her up and toss her into the lake. And so what she was noticing when they were, you know, fooling around, was that I was toddling towards the water. And I was two. And so she was yelling at them. But of course, they weren't really listening to what she was saying. She was yelling because of me, but they thought she was just yelling because they were going to throw in the water. 

Permelia Parham  43:07  
So having been told this story that I toddled into the water. Fell in the water. Was under the water. And this woman was standing there and she pulled me out of the water. So, obviously saved me. So when I'm doing my studying and researching when I'm studying with my teacher, I found that as a, as a Maori woman, back in the 13th century, living in New Zealand, I had been murdered by being drowned. I had special powers back then. But the person who was the head, and I don't even know what to call them, they could see that I had special powers, and so special gifts, and they didn't want me to be available. So there was a few people that drowned me. So I went to my teacher at the time, because we're in a classroom setting, right? So I said, Okay, I just, this is really interesting. Like I, I have a fear of the water still, to this day. You know, I don't swim out past where it's over my head. And I'm still very wary of water. And so I said to her, now this is a story and I told her the story about drowning in this lifetime, nearly drowning in this lifetime and this woman who saved me. And she's right away, she knew. She said, that's her karma. That she was one of the people who drowned you in that past lifetime. So she was there at the right time to save me in this lifetime. So I was just like, oh my gosh. You don't realize what that what that process is like. So,

Vonne Solis  44:48  
Past life regression can be great. I've done it a few times. I do pretty well have a very clear understanding of the family members in my life. My immediate and my closest ones, don't have have a big family, so my closest ones. And it kind of is fun knowing that, oh, I know why you're here. At least working with me. Being with me. And it's kind of fun. 

Vonne Solis  45:13  
So I want to just ask, if you could just encourage people. You mentioned, you know, getting out 20 years ago, I think you said of a tough circumstance that was providing you stability. Finances. It probably physically was comfortable in that way. 

Permelia Parham  45:33  
Oh most definitely.

Vonne Solis  45:33  
The safety, security. So what did it take for you, inside to finally go, and this is I'm asking you to share this so other people who might be resonating with something like this, I'm not gonna say I'm not saying it's gonna happen the same way for them. But what was it in you that finally said, I'm doing this. I'm jumping off the cliff. I'm going.

Permelia Parham  45:57  
Well, it was, I was studying with my teacher at the time. And I realized the things I was putting into place around my spirituality and feeling more in balance with me and who I was. Listening to, you know, people like Eckhart Tolle and Joe Dispenza, and understanding things at more of an energetic level, which my spouse at the time did not get at all. And it had been 20, over 20 years. 20 years, actually physically married and six or seven years prior to getting married. And we had two children. And so yeah, it was a bit of a leap of faith. But I've always, you know, even though I didn't have the language around intuition back then, I was just learning about it, I knew in my heart and my soul, I would be happier. 

Permelia Parham  46:51  
And so yeah, I was in a very financial stable relationship. Well, stable from a financial point of view.

Vonne Solis  46:58  

Permelia Parham  46:58  
Roof over my head. But so unhappy. Like so unhappy in the dynamics of the relationship that I just had to take action. And I have to say, my teacher was very supportive of me at the time. And, you know, gave me some little tips of things. And I couldn't, I wasn't able to move out of the house rght away. I had to put other things in place. I had a business at the time. I wasn't, you know, I was self-employed, so finances weren't, weren't great. But you know, the people that I needed to show up in my life at the time, and that's why I say be open to it. One of my dear friends, I really liked the apartment she lived in, but it was an adult-only apartment. And I had children at the time. So that were young teenagers, I had three children. So it was like, well contact the office, because I know they have other townhouses around the city. Sure enough. Not only did I find the townhouse I needed with three bedrooms, but they were having a sale, like a sale to get people in. So that really helped. At the same time when I've had the faith and just that I'm doing this, one of the government jobs that I'd had, I'd left the government, but I was hired on contract basis. 

Vonne Solis  47:10  
There you go.

Permelia Parham  47:16  
And then I was also, I had my business that I was developing, which was an event planning company. And I was, you know, the tourism was helpful, you know, I was getting events from them. So I was just very grateful that I'd listened to my intuition. And then I listened to, to really what was going on in me, and how it was gonna make me a happier and more joyful person. Because I wanted to be happy and joyful for my children. I didn't want to be in this depressed state where I was just miserable all the time. And I wasn't, you know, miserable all the time. One hundred percent. I knew I could be happier and I could be more joyful.

Vonne Solis  48:53  
Yeah, it's so interesting. I just want to say a couple of things for the audience. So when you tap in to your instinct, you can call it instinct. Eventually, you can call it your personal power or anything else. It was interesting. I had someone on the show recently, who does a lot of work in this area and she said, the power center is behind the gut. Gut instinct, all works together. Also, your heart will never steer you wrong. But the one thing I just want to say is when we're really ready for something, the way will be shown to us. And opportunities will come to us. And it's our job just to recognize them and then have the faith and trust ourselves that we're not going to let ourselves down. So kudos to you because there's a lot of people I'm sure today stuck in situations they really don't want to be in. Would you agree that one of the first things you have to do is make that choice? That decision to say, this is it. Like understand, recognize you've reached the no turning back. I'm making a change. You can feel that right?

Permelia Parham  50:01  
Yeah. You can feel it in your body. And you know, there had been lots of ways that I had been trying to nudge my then spouse. And he just wasn't getting it. And so then, of course, once I made the decision, because it took me, you know, I'm in a 20 year marriage. I didn't make the decision lightly. It was like, oh, okay, well, I'll go to counselling, I'll do this. I'll do that. I'm like, I'm sorry. I've made the decision now. It's a little bit too late.

Vonne Solis  50:29  
No lip service, right? We don't want lip service. It's like when things have come to its end, then things have come to its end. And when they haven't, well, I guess we still have things to learn when we're uncomfortable. 

Vonne Solis  50:42  
I do want to quote what you said here. When you change the vibration in the blocked energy, the cause can no longer exist. And I really love that, because that's something for people to think about. When you've changed it and I will go as far as to say, even in our mental, our thoughts. We've changed it. We're not wobbling. We can say we've changed our thoughts, but really, we haven't. But when we know and we're certain, it all works together. And the thought, I'm doing this! We follow through with our heart, our emotion, the body and spiritually, and life can really be wonderful for us. So you're such a wonderful example, also of, you know, for anybody at any age wanting to change their life, there are ways to kickstart it. Think of yourself as energy. Think of yourself as a little little powerhouse there, and kickstart it. And then the resources will come to you. The resources, the practitioners you want to work with. You know, everything you need. In some cases, you may end up even being a practitioner as part of your purpose work, right? 

Permelia Parham  51:58  
Yes. I had no idea that that's what was going to happen. When I, when I was, you know, getting all of my ducks in a row, if you want to say it that way. Because I had an event planning company, that which is pretty concrete. And so we ended up moving. I ended up moving back to Vancouver Island where I grew up. And my teacher that I studied under she predicted that I was going to be doing something. And I'm like, Excuse me, I'm going to what? It didn't happen right away but it evolved. Because when you're incorporating who you are, and how happy you are in your life, that's what you send out into the world. And so a position that I had here, when I moved here, my co-workers noticed that. And they wanted to know how I was so well. Well, didn't use the word balanced, but how I, you know, took care of these situations and I was positive because I'm very positive. Always positive thinking. And so I explained to them, you know, that this is what I had learned. And they said, oh, we need to know how to do that. That's how I got I created Vibrational Healing.

Vonne Solis  53:00  
For sure. And we're gonna move to that. I just want to also say, I learned that as a positive person, too, I never really thought about it before my bereavement as a parent. But turns out I'm pretty positive. And so you can still be positive even when you're going through some negative emotions and stuff. And for me, it's always, okay, what's the upside? What's the solution? You know? And so after a while, I realized, there's a pattern here. You're a pretty positive person. That doesn't mean we don't have struggles. It just means that's what we mostly function from. And what we mostly function from is what's going to set our vibration. And we want a high one. I'd like to end this Permelia, with you speaking a little bit about The Healing Institute. What's your vision for it? The world? And also, if you could address if you're inviting practitioners to contact you to be part of it?

Permelia Parham  53:54  
Yes, thank you so much Vonne. So, The Healing Institute has developed from actually, because of the pandemic. So when I started to be part of these online networking groups, I realized I was meeting holistic practitioners all over the world. And I really believe that we need to be more proactive around our wellness. And again, that's why I called it an institute because I really want to educate people. And we've talked a lot about how to educate over this last hour. So I opened it up. I started creating it over a year and a half ago on all these networking platforms that I was on. Just so you know, there's quite a few and they're amazing for entrepreneurs to come together and stay together. And it's not just that you have a presenter. You also get to breakout into what they call, well, I call them zoom rooms. So then you get to meet three or four people kind of one on one. And then if you want to have a further dialogue with them, you can connect with them usually on LinkedIn. Just about everybody's on LinkedIn.

Permelia Parham  55:03  
I started to make these contacts with practitioners all over the world. And I said to them, if you had a platform, and this is what The Healing Institute is. It's a virtual platform consisting of holistic practitioners. And yes, I am looking for more. And we represent eight countries at the moment. So if you had a platform, and clients were coming to that platform, would that be something you'd be interested in? And of course, as a practitioner, you know, that's, that's our biggest challenge. Is getting clients. So The Healing Institute is that kind of a platform for clients to find us. To connect with a practitioner. To connect with the modality that they want, they want to have a session and pay for the session. And then it's part of this virtual global platform. 

Permelia Parham  55:53  
We have so many modalities, like over 80 probably modalities right now. And so that's why I'm out in the world doing some marketing to let people know that they can come to to the website and find that modality and connect. And I've vetted all of the practitioners just so people know. Like, you just don't show up and be on the platform.

Vonne Solis  56:16  

Permelia Parham  56:16  
So I have an onboarding questionnaire that's eight pages long. It gives me an idea about who you are. So there is a button on the website that's got practitioner on it. You can click on that and send me the information about your modality. Where you are in the world. And I will connect with you. We'll have a zoom call and talk about, you know, is this a right fit? Because that's the other thing is it has to be a win win for everybody. It has to be a win for the practitioner. For the client. And obviously, for my company. Everyone, so far that I've interviewed is heart-centered. Everybody cares about the client. The client is first and foremost. So even so far as if a client comes to me for Body Code work. And I think, oh my goodness, they could really utilize this practitioner and this practitioner, maybe three or four, we as practitioners would get together and have a discussion. Put a plan together and give it back to the client. So for the client is one stop shopping. That's the advantage for people. And for the practitioner, it's, you know, it's another way of getting clients.

Vonne Solis  57:21  
It sounds pretty progressive and wonderful, given that it's virtual, global. So anybody watching this or listening to this that is interested, you can contact Permelia about The Healing Institute and more information for onboarding. It is isn't it?

Permelia Parham  57:38  
Yeah. Just so people realize. You know, you think, Oh, you can do energy work over zoom? Energy is energy. And yes, even Reiki. I have I have some practitioners that do Reiki over zoom. My vision is to reach out into the world so that we become a wellness society. And we assist people on their wellness journey. And we're there for people to be well and stay well.

Vonne Solis  58:02  
I love that. You can tell it's so authentic. I just, I just love that so so much. Now, are you also working with clients one on one yourself?

Permelia Parham  58:13  

Vonne Solis  58:13  
And they can reach you at?

Permelia Parham  58:16

Vonne Solis  58:18  
I'll have the links to all of that below for you as well Permelia. So, is there anything else that you wanted to leave with the audience before we close this episode out?

Permelia Parham  58:29  
Well, I just want to say thank you so much Vonne, for the introduction to your community, I greatly appreciate the fact that I get to hang out with you. And and you know, to your audience as I've said before, just be curious. Don't take an answer for an answer. Really think, you know, does this affect me? And am I happy with this? And if I'm not, well, let's find out. Maybe there's other another way of doing things.

Vonne Solis  58:56  
Yeah, life will reach you when it needs to. I'll tell you that. Like the changes, the waking up, I guess I should say. It'll reach you when it needs to if you're going to wake up in this incarnation. And I can't imagine not waking up in this incarnation. I cannot imagine it. Okay, well, thanks again so much Permelia. It's been so informative. And I've learned some stuff too. And I just am so grateful for the time you've spent with me. So thanks again.

Permelia Parham  59:21  
You're so welcome.

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