Everyone has a backstory of struggle, pain and/or trauma. In this coaching episode from the Get Me Started! online course, learn how to be the architect of your life and consistently create the lasting and authentic changes you need and want at every stage.
0:12 Have a problem - look within
1:54 Attitude is everything
2:16 I was 48 when my daughter died
5:23 Pin prick of light!
7:04 Designing from ideas
8:38 Managing unexpected outcomes
10:28 Don't get trapped!
12:28 5 tips to help
14:34 What you want you can have
BOOKS (by Vonne Solis)
“Lessons in Surviving Suicide – A Letter to My Daughter”
“Divine Healing Transforming Pain into Personal Power – A Guide to Heal Pain From Child Loss, Suicide and Other Grief”
“The Power of Change”
RESOURCES (Blog, Course & Meditations)
FREE PERSONAL GROWTH JOURNAL
Start at Lesson 1: Regrets: Letting them go! Audio or YouTube
Go to previous Lesson 10: Limitations: What’s Stopping You Now? Audio or YouTube
Vonne Solis 0:00
Welcome to another Greek talk Coffee Chat episode. I'm your host, Vonne Solis.
Vonne Solis 0:12
Welcome to this coaching episode, Lesson 11, from the "Get Me Started!" online course. This one is Change: Designing Your Life. So I want to just start by saying, anything that is impacting your life in any way that is negative, or just causing you some kind of frustration, impatience or anything else that you just don't want in your life, you have to address it at some point. Your only other option is to exist in some form of denial or self-destruction of some sort.
Vonne Solis 0:48
So why we have such a problem looking within, which a number of people do, is the mystery of humankind. I'm certainly not going to have the answer for it. But once you do decide to look within, and actually see what's actually making you tick, you know, making you function, there's no looking back. Despite the bumps that may occur along the way.
Vonne Solis 1:18
Mostly, if not always, when we look deep within us, we know what is happening either within us or around us or both, that is making us unhappy, irritable, frustrated, anxious, stressed, depressed, and in any other kind of pain that we may be experiencing. Whether or not we're ready to make a change just at that moment is unclear. But at least knowing what's going on within and around us is a really great first start to making any kind of change in your life.
Vonne Solis 1:54
Attitude is everything. If you see anything as a problem, including your life, it is a problem. You will react to everything from a place of fear and mistrust, rather than with the confidence and faith that what you want you really can create all in its own good time.
Vonne Solis 2:16
So a little bit about my story. So I was 48 years old when my then 22 year old daughter took her life by suicide. I had an A plus personality. I had a fairly charmed life and when I wanted to create something in my life, I manifested it generally without any problems. Now, I'm not talking about manifesting the multimillion dollar mansion here. I was manifesting and creating in my life what I wanted. Which was family, security, travel, you know, a nice home, and everybody was healthy and happy. Pretty simple.
Vonne Solis 2:59
So when my daughter unexpectedly took her life, it robbed me of absolutely everything. And in fact, it left me flat on the ground, without me understanding or seeing any way out of my situation. In fact, I actually thought I was doomed to a life of gloom and despair. So it took an awful lot for me, over time, to pull myself up and decide I wanted more for my life. And while I'm not going to go into that in detail here, I have outlined that in certainly my first book, Divine Healing, the point I want to make is that for any of us struggling with any kind of backstory where it has been one of adversity, if not trauma, and we choose to pick ourselves up and get out of that situation, or create more abundance in our life or any other kind of change that is going to improve what we're currently experiencing, that is a huge win in anyone's book. And my belief is that any of us can find whatever it is within us that will motivate us to at least get started.
Vonne Solis 4:18
For me, it was literally working at a minimum wage job, which I felt I had to do out of necessity. Probably in looking back I didn't. Which was very laborious and terrible hours. And was keeping me away from my surviving son who was thirteen at the time. And away from the comfort and what I felt was the only safety you know, in my world, which was my home. And I latched on to a little pinprick of light that I found by signing up for a course to become an Angel Healing Practitioner in California, certifying at the time under Doreen Virtue. And though that was a few months away, it was enough that kept me going to my, you know, 2-11 pm shifts. Working at this place I didn't want to be working. Doing jobs I didn't want to be doing. And trusting that the path would open up for me. And it did.
Vonne Solis 5:23
That one little pinprick of light, gave me the courage to trust that I would one day have the confidence again, to create the life that I could envision for myself every step of the way, as I chose to heal from this most awful, awful pain and suffering that I had ever experienced in my life. And you can too.
Vonne Solis 5:55
No matter where you are in your life, whether you are being faced with adversity today, trauma, serious loss, just frustration, stagnation, confusion, feeling lost, just feeling hopeless. It could be depression. It could be anxiety. It could be a total fear that there's nothing else there or there might be today, but you could lose it all tomorrow. Given the world we live in that is a fairly common theme for many, many people of different generations. But I'm telling you. Holding on to one pinprick of light that represents hope, or the belief in yourself that you're going to find a way to change whatever it is that you're not comfortable with in your life at any given stage. We're not just talking about today, but at any given stage. By holding on to that you will surely be led to the information, the resources, the opportunities, and the ultimate changes that you can today, start designing for your life.
Vonne Solis 7:04
Now, I say designing because you have to imagine dream, focus on and intend the changes you want for your life before you can create them into your physical reality. It's just the way it works, folks. Even when you still don't know entirely what this is, or trust yourself enough to create these changes.
Vonne Solis 7:31
Everything starts from ideas. So all change, starting with ideas, you can think of it much like architectural design. Before you build a house or anything of a structural nature, you have to have a design plan. And your life is just the same. If you want to be the sole architect of your life, you have to come up with a design for it at any given stage to ultimately create the outcomes you want for your life. Now a big part of creating outcomes is we really never can know what they actually will look like when something manifests for us. And often what we are intending for ourselves, turns out in actual fact to be different, and usually better than what we were intending in the first place. Which makes the whole process of intending and manifesting and creating really kind of fun and adventurous.
Vonne Solis 8:38
The key to really managing any outcome, even when it's a little bit different than what you expected, granted, there are some outcomes with some, you know, changes we want to create in our life, that you know, I want to buy a red car and you go and you buy a red car, that they're pretty predictable. But even buying the red car, you know, you might go and there might be something better on the lot and you end up in and it's a different color. But the point I'm making here is for many of the outcomes that we're intending, we really don't know how, when or what they're really going to be when they're finally delivered to us. And yes, you do have to believe in The Universe delivering based on what you are sending out in terms of your intention. Which has a lot to do with energy and vibration and so on, but I'm not going to talk about all of that today. Just understand that the more confidence you gain, the more you will trust yourself that you've got this. You've got your life.
Vonne Solis 9:47
So part of having new ideas comes from releasing what you no longer want or need in your life and having the confidence to go after what you now do want and need. And it's really super exciting to actually see your ideas become a reality for your life. But there are also times we have to what I call plateau. There are times that we need things to simmer a little bit, and allow those things that are happening in the unseen world percolate, and take form to actually manifest into your physical reality. Everything is energy and all manifestation starts from energy.
Vonne Solis 10:28
The things you do have to be careful about when you do start intending and manifesting for your life is that the quote, dreams and goals you are following are actually your own and not those of somebody else. Or, what you think you should be doing, rather than what you really want to be doing. Additionally, you can hold yourself back, if you're surrounded by people who don't want change for their own life. It's important that you watch that you're not feeling trapped by anybody else's stagnation or somebody else's ideas. Any idea that is heartfelt, you can trust as good and valid. And it is interesting that almost all, I would wager, any purpose driven work is guided by ideas that we have had sometimes since childhood. If you think back and you actually create something, and you just know, since you were you know, you've known since you were a child, or you know, at a younger age anyway, that you really felt aligned with this type of work or this, you know, type of purpose, and then when you actually start to see it manifest into reality, your physical reality, it's really exciting and very rewarding. And you are truly living an authentic life at that point.
Vonne Solis 11:47
So creating with intention is all about what you really want, not what you think you want. They're very, very different. Understanding your intention behind every decision you make for your life will help you know the difference. It will also help you create authentic, lasting change. That and feeling at peace with every one of your decisions, even the hard ones, will ensure you are aligned with your heart.
Vonne Solis 12:15
So the key takeaway in this Lesson 11 is that understanding your intention behind every change you want to make in your life will help you consistently create lasting, authentic change.
Vonne Solis 12:28
Five tips to consider when you are on this path to designing your life. Again, you're imagining it, focusing on what you want without, you know, being obsessed. Staying true to the intention and understanding what the intention is behind the decisions you are making to go after what you want, and to live the way you want. It's not just about jobs and money. It's about your environment. It's about the people you surround yourself with. It's about what you're choosing to do in your own time. It's about how you're choosing to present yourself in the world. All of these things that make up our authentic experience. Being free enough to be who we were meant to be on this planet and do what we truly feel aligned with in this life, that is what I consider to be the greatest gift we can give ourselves. And here are some of the the tips to help you not only start living this way, but to stay aligned with your authenticity.
Vonne Solis 13:32
Number one, understand that timing is everything. And many of the outcomes that we want for our life are going to happen in their own time, not in ours. Number two, gut instinct is real. Trust your gut, and learn to know when and how to act on what your gut is telling you. Number three, be patient and trust the process. Number four, when what you want does feel like there is a huge delay or you're never going to get it, trust that something better might be working in the background. Far better than what you could have intended for yourself. And just affirm, this or something better. Then wait! And number five, feel joyous about taking responsibility for being the designer of your life. Which is truly the biggest claim you could have to connecting to your inner power.
Vonne Solis 14:34
Once you do start really understanding and working with this principle of being the designer, the main architect of your life. Designing a plan for it. And I'm not talking about a really structured rigid plan. I'm just talking about a vision. Call it a vision. Call it a plan. But designing what you can envision in your mind that's going to hold you to the idea that you can have what you want. You have to know what it is! And it has to be truly truly what you want. Which you'll know by tapping into your heart center and your inner power, then you can live on this planet, the way I believe we all should be living on this planet. In joy. With peace and in balance with love and compassion and harmony within and feeling it for all other things.
Vonne Solis 15:27
It might be a big ask, but listen, the more of us that live this way, the more we will experience this type of living. Which I believe can have a domino effect in the world. Happy designing. Until next time.