Ep. 2 Healing with the Angels

Vonne discusses her journey to become an Angel Therapy Practitioner in 2006, certifying under Doreen Virtue in California, and the benefits of healing with the angels when we choose to work with and trust in this powerful resource.

0:13  Introduction to the angels.
4:43  You have to experience angels more than just believe in them.
8:50   Vonne shares how the angels impacted Vonne in her grief immediately after losing her daughter to suicide in 2005l, and her initial journey to become an Angel Therapy Practitioner that resulted in the writing of her first book Divine Healing - Transforming Pain into Personal Power.
12:17  Vonne explains how her book Divine Healing chronicles her daughter's suicide and early bereavement, as well as provides a self-help healing practice channeled by the angels. She discusses how grief and death in western culture are still largely, culturally and socially misunderstood, the need for better support, the newly classified prolonged grief disorder in the DSM V, and the gaps still evident to understand and treat the bereaved by medical professionals.
16:50  Vonne shares how she got into angels and how she became a true believer.
26:06  Vonne tells her story about the courage it took to travel to California to become an Angel Therapy Practitioner, nine months after her daughter's suicide and what that experience was like.
31:59  What early grief is like and the two major things Vonne wished she knew after being plunged into her bereavement.
33:59  Vonne shares some physical visits from her daughter in California.
37:45  Vonne discusses surrendering the pain and making life changes in her earliest work with the angels.
45:45  How to heal with the angels amidst the darkness of our pain and struggle and the true power of angelic healing.
55:29 Vonne offers resources and discounts for her online course.
57:04  Closing.

How to Work with the Angels in Grief
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhXyfS2iUVg

Books:
https://vonnesolis.com/vonne-solis-books/

Resources:
https://vonnesolis.com/resources/

School coupon 50% discount:
https://courses.vonnesolis.com/p/beyond-bereavement-get-me-started?coupon_code=PODCAST50

Website:
https://vonnesolis.com/
 
 

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Transcript

Vonne Solis 0:00  
Welcome to another Grief Talk Coffee Chat episode. I'm your host, .

0:13  
Welcome to another episode of  Grief Talk, our Coffee Chat Episode Two. I am your host . So welcome. Today I wanted to talk a little bit about one of my favorite topics, which is healing with the angels. And, while I'm going to be having a future guest interview with a fellow Angel Healing Practitioner, and someone who is absolutely going to talk a lot more about angels and we're also going to be having some fantastic soul sister Sunday conversations about healing with unseen forces (I also have another guest interview on that, that I'm going to be sharing with you), but specifically working with the angels; this is a fantastic, wonderful realm that a lot of people are interested in. Many, many, many people. I read a few years back something like 70%, if not higher in the United States alone believe in angels. I'm from Canada. I daresay the figure is just about the same. And I'd also say the same as for around the world. Many people believe in angels, as either a religious symbol, or literally, energy or a realm that they can work with in their personal life. Some of us actually work in the field as practitioners, and I am one of them. I used to do one on one readings with angels, for nine years as a matter of fact, and I've kind of moved into a different platform now. Instead of doing one on one, mostly I am doing this podcast. I've written a book Divine Healing Transforming Pain into Personal Power with the second part of that book completely dedicated to healing with angels as a self-help practice. I do have a YouTube channel where I have videos there that you can watch to see how to work with different angels. Angels in grief. Angels to manifest. Angels to concentrate. Different things. And one video that will talk about how to work with them in general. The 15 Arc Angels as I worked with them in my own grief.  I'll have links to that one last video for sure and then you can find the others on that channel if you're so inclined to go and have a peek. But the point I want to make is that the angels are an incredible, incredible healing resource for us. They're also an incredible resource for us to empower us in many other ways. Help us with job interviews, help us in difficult relationships, protect our children, protect our homes, fix things, find things, you name it, they are there to help us.

3:32  
So, I wanted to talk a little bit about in this episode, and the reason I'm calling them coffee chat episodes is not because I'm actually sitting here drinking coffee or tea as the case may be. But more to have the audience listener, viewer, imagine themselves in their favorite bistro. Sitting down with a friend listening to stories of inspiration. Thinking about their own stories. How they feel inspired. How you feel inspired to work with any information you may hear in this podcast, specifically, on the coffee chats, which are solo shows. I am offering a combination of guest, solo shows, and soul sister Sundays. So, there's lots of variety to offer impacting, insightful information, as well as practical tips and strategies to help you get where you want to go. As I like to say in your journey to heal and grow. So, today's episode is dedicated to the angelic realm. 

4:43  
I want to start off by saying I'm not here to convince anybody that they should believe in angels. Not going to happen. It's something that you either experience, almost more than believe in. Because once you believe in angels you will experience them. So, it's kind of hard to convince yourself to believe in something that you can't experience. I would offer to anyone who is intrigued by the idea of either working with angels, going and having a reading with an angel practitioner, or learning more about them to become a practitioner yourself; I would just say, have an open mind. Just entertain the thought of, “Hmm, what if I really could see an angel or what if I really could be impacted or empowered by the angelic realm?” There are different realms, and I'm not going to get into that because number one, I never really studied it. I never really placed importance on realms. But at the time, I did open my life up to angels, which was about six months before my daughter passed away (she died by suicide in July 2005). So, I was a newbie to angels at that time. Specifically, today, I want to talk to you about how I became an angel healing practitioner nine months after my daughter's suicide, and the journey (I will obviously compress the information), but the journey I took to commit to that life, and a little bit of what happened along the way, to get where I am today.

6:30  
Now, full disclosure, I am no longer practicing as a one-on-one angelic healing practitioner. For many years, nine years, as a matter of fact, I did. I ran a part time business. So, I'll tell you a little bit about that and the types of readings I did and how I actually was blessed to work with the angels and have them in my life. And ultimately share their wisdom and insight with clients that they could go off and use these tools on their own. Amazing, amazing. If I were to go back and listen to any recording at that time of those readings, which I no longer have, but if I were, I can attest to the fact that when I would just check recordings to send them off to people (at that time on DVD so a few years ago), they were so empowering and impactful that there wasn't a client who was disappointed. So that doesn't attest to the power of me at all. That attests to the power of the angels. Insightfully, I don't know what the word is to call it, but just choosing their channels. And there are many of us in the world. Many, many of us in the world. And I no longer do one on one because I wanted to move into a broader reach through now what is this platform. It was books. Now a little bit of blogging. Stepped away from it a little bit and now it's this podcast. So, we are going to have episodes dedicated to the angelic realm and as I said, healing with some other unseen forces. Reiki energy, things like that. Because it's such an important part to, not, again, try and convince anybody of these forces that are available and resources that are available to them for absolutely free. More just, ‘Hey, this is what I went through. This is my experience.’ And I'm not alone. Hundreds of thousands of other people have gone through it too, in different capacities, in their life. But I thought I'd share with you how it impacted me when I went through tragedy by losing my 22-year-old beautiful daughter, Janaya to suicide, on July 26, 2005.

8:50  
So, here's my story. In this episode, I'm not going to get into the nitty gritty of the actual death. In my book Divine Healing, if we do have any listeners, viewers out there, I just want to let you know that Divine Healing - Transforming Pain into Personal Power - the first part of that book goes into detail, back in 2006 to 2010. It was originally published in 2011, but through that five-year period from 2006 to 2010, I wrote the book largely with the angels channeling a lot of it. My daughter channeling a lot of it. 2011 was final edits. It got published. I released it in 2018 through a US publisher. That book did get across Canada, in our Chapters stores coast to coast, and I was very, very proud of it. But it was only available as a paperback. So, I re-released it in 2018 through a US publisher to have global reach and also to have it as an e-book. So, for anybody that is interested, that goes through my story right from the moment I learned of Janaya's death, in the car, driving like crazy. With my husband driving to the city from the country where we lived, only to find out halfway there on the highway, that she was gone. Needless to say, it was incredibly traumatic. And we spent the next several hours outside her apartment (she lived in her own apartment in this house) dealing with police, paramedics, first responder, people who were there to try and help you with trauma. The landlord, his wife, a few friends, my mom. Everybody, but my son, who was thirteen and at his friend's next door when all this was going on. Didn't get home till after midnight. We set in about 5:30 pm to the city. So it was hours of absolutely the worst imaginable agony, you know, pain, you could ever conjure up in your brain. And I know that I'm not the only one. There's thousands and thousands and thousands of bereaved parents. There are thousands of other people who have gone through extreme trauma. Even probably worse than that. But, for the most part, many people consider losing a child the absolute worst experience you could ever, ever possibly imagine. And so, I don't know if it is. I just know it was pretty tough. Pretty darn tough for us. And so that book Divine Healing definitely chronicles all of that. All of the financial difficulties, family difficulties, relationships breaking down. How I dealt with becoming a brand-new bereaved person, not having any idea about grief at all. Working with the angels. It does go into my story much more in depth about what I'm going to share here. But it goes into all of that, to pondering the afterlife, communication with my daughter, and basically, just getting through those first few years. And then Part Two, as I said, is self-help healing practice.

12:17  
But why I'm talking about that book is because today, looking back at what was going on culturally and socially at the time (as I said I live in Canada, I don't think the States is much different; you have a few more resources and so on for my American viewers and listeners), but a lot of how we think about death and grief, how we provide support, how much support we provide, and so on. How we talk to each other, how much people know how grief-savvy they are; in other words, even just being prepared for loss of someone, it's pretty much the same. So, there is need for improvement in the way we advocate for grievers themselves, ourselves. There's much greater need for better supports. More support. Type of support. And when I'm saying type of support, having healthcare professionals truly understand what we're going through. A little side note here is that what they used to call complicated grief, which is grief that just won't go away for people, has now been officially classified as a disorder in the DSM V. And that is now known as prolonged grief disorder. The DSM is the manual that mental health professionals refer to as the foundation for diagnosing and treating different disorders. So prolonged grief is now a real thing. And I do have the disorder, along with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. But even when you look at PTSD and talk about it in terms of loss of a child, loss of another person to suicide, the information is just really, not there. So, this is a platform where I get to talk about what I want to talk about, and these are some of the things I am going to be discussing and sharing my experience. Not telling people what to do. How to do it. But more encouraging them to look for symptoms in themselves. Go get medical help. Go get medical intervention. Part of the reason, and that's going to be another show, but part of the reason we don't really seek medical help often or as much as we want to, or even when we really need it, is because we're almost certain at the beginning, they're not going to understand what we're going through. And for the most part, that is an accurate assessment. We have to teach doctors and therapists what we're going through. And that's certainly true for bereaved parents. And then we have to make sure we're working with the right health care professional who can help us with the right type of treatment to get us through what we're going through. And it was interesting, when they classified prolonged grief disorder a month ago (I just want to say this and then I'm going to move to the angels), is that they still don't know how to treat it. Okay? So, they do now have, the 'Well, you need this, this, this, this and this'. Largely, you need to be longing for a loved one gone, you need to be in severe emotional pain, and you need to have had your life disrupted in one or more ways for at least 12 months (and that's a very brief snapshot of the symptoms); that, is what you would need for a practitioner to go, "Hmm, they might have prolonged grief disorder". I'll put a link below if anybody watching or listening to this is wondering if they actually have it. It took me all of like ten seconds to go, ‘Yeah, I got it’, and decide for yourself if you want some intervention. If you can afford therapy. If you want therapy. But what they did actually say, in articles related to that announcement, was that they still don't really know how they're going to treat it. So, I think this is going to be a little bit of a long road ahead, for those of us who actually do have prolonged grief disorder, in terms of getting the support we need.



16:50  
So back to the angels. And that's why I love angels so much is because, here's my story. And I won't be brief so as to leave the important details out. But obviously, I can't focus too much and go too in-depth on certain things that were happening. So, my sister introduced me to angels a few months prior to Janaya dying. And this was a Godsend. How did she do that? Well, I had bought her a book for her birthday in December. And then she said to me right after her birthday: "You really need to get this book. It's like really great. Really great."

17:28  
And it was a book on healing with the angels. A lesser-known book by Doreen Virtue at the time. And I'd gone into this rather small bookstore and was browsing the metaphysical section and I saw this, and I thought, 'Oh, my sister loves angels. I'll buy this book for her.’

17:47  
So, when she was just, so like, "You really need this book." I went, 'Okay, fine, I'll go get the book.' And she said, "And go and get a deck of cards too." So, I went and bought both things. I went and bought the book, and I went and bought a deck of Archangel cards. Again, by Doreen Virtue. And I started playing around with them. So, this would have been around the January, February of 2005. 

18:10  
So, I had one experience where I was doing a reading. I was very, very concerned about where my daughter was. She wasn't answering the phone (and we didn't have iPhones then), but you know, she wasn't answering her phone. I was like, 'Oh my God, I'm so worried.' I was always worried about her in some capacity. And at this point, she was 22 years old, but you know, still worried about my kid. And so, I did a card reading. I thought, 'I'm going to do card reading. I'm going to do a card reading.' And the angels assured me she was okay. Just, I didn't have all the information and not to worry. Essentially, that was the reading.

18:44  
So, a short while later she actually phoned me and, "Hey mom. I'm okay. I was just, you know, with a friend for a couple of days." And I'm like, 'Oh, my God!’ And aside from having tremendous relief that she was okay, I was like: 'Man, that card reading worked. Whoa!’

19:02  
And I used to dabble in tarot readings before that for a few years, but that wasn't really my thing. So, I'm like, 'I'm sold on this'. So, I didn't really do too much more with it. I just sort of, ‘Hmm … alright, that's kind of interesting. Angels are kind of interesting, and maybe I'll consider - maybe I'll consider, that you could work with them.’ That they have this power.
19:22  
And it was more about the ability to work with them as opposed to, 'Yeah, I think (well I remember growing up and playing an angel with blue leotards in a Christmas pageant once), ‘they were Christmas ornaments'. So, they were sort of really abstract for me. So, I tuck this in my memory bank and went about being a mom and doing whatever I was doing back then.

19:47  
So fast forward a few months to the death of Janaya. The suicide. The complete shock and trauma of it. In the initial first weeks, of course, I couldn't do anything. But by, I would say late September, so August, September, maybe within two to three months, I went on a prayer board, number one. And that was again through Doreen Virtue. And I met some fantastic people that I ended up emailing with on that board and they were very, very supportive. And it was wonderful. And it was great receiving all these prayers, and so on and so forth. But it didn't really help me. And so, I found an email that made its way into my box. And it was an online angel course that Doreen was doing. And I went, 'Okay, I'll get that'. So, I got that. It arrived I think in the mail. Honestly, to tell you the honest truth, there were tapes (they must have been CDs). So, there were CDs and a booklet and things like that. So, it must have arrived in the mail, and I was so excited. And I was really committed. And that was my first sort of like 'Okay, I'm really going to learn about these angels'. So, I did. And at the same time, I tucked myself away in my room, because I spent an awful lot of time alone in those first few months. And I decided, 'Well, I'm just going to call on these angels'. And Doreen actually worked a lot with Archangels at the time. And I just naturally sort of thought, 'Well, I'll just try it, but I won't read what she says about them. I'll just sort of see if they come and visit me, and if they give me any messages’.

 21:23  
So I did that for several weeks. And I would just go in my bedroom for a certain period of the day, and just kind of - actually the room would get really cold, and I would just go, 'I just want whoever needs to come to me, come to me. And, you know, let me envision you as I need to envision you and give me any messages’.

21:43  
So, they did that. And I thought that was pretty cool. And then I thought, 'I'm going to try automatic writing with the angels'. Now this was my idea. Nobody was, you know, no, I hadn't read about it. And there was no, you know "you need to do automatic writing". 

21:56  
‘So, I'm going to try this. Now I need the physical. I'm getting it kind of mentally and emotionally and it's making me feel good.’ And it's helping me get out of bed in the morning. And it's helping me - I just think about pushing myself and I get to - I basically at that time segregated my day, so I knew that I wanted from, whatever - wake up to noon, I was going to do this and this. Very gentle. Like very, very gentle stuff. Feed the fish. Cuddle with my doggie. Spend some time with my son. Do whatever. Just get out of bed. The important thing was to just get out of bed and move a little bit, but not force myself. And absolutely make a date to work with the angels. So, this became part of my structure in my routine. 

21:56  
So, when I threw the automatic writing in, I was looking for proof. No doubt about it. I was absolutely looking for proof. And without a doubt, all of my questioning was, 'Where is my daughter? Why did she go? And how can I connect with her?’ That was it. That was my world at the time, pretty much.

23:03  
So, lo and behold this one day, I started to do automatic writing. It was only a one-time experience. It's all I needed. I sat there with my pen and paper. I was sitting on the bed. I'm all, ready. Closing my eyes and getting into that zone. And, not even knowing what was going to happen, and it was a little bit scary, I won't lie. It was a little bit scary. And all of a sudden, my hand started moving. And I thought I was writing cursive and a lot of script and whatever. And after this period (and I don't know how long the period was), but after it ended, I looked, and I was so disappointed to see I just had a few little squiggles! And I was like, 'What? What?' But it didn't matter. It was enough to show me that the power of the angelic realm could be felt in the physical and actually expressed through our physical bodies and I was sold. I was like, ‘I'm done. I'm sold.’

24:00  
Now, fast forward, it would take a few more years after me going to California and certifying (which was the next step), but it would take a few more years for me to really, really, really, really listen to them. And trust that what I was hearing for myself; for example, ‘Take this route to work today, because I don't know why’, and I'd go 'Naaah'. Just no, I didn't listen. And then I'd find out there was a huge delay making me late for work, and so on. Doing that for about a year or so, I finally, finally started to pay attention and go, 'No, no, no, you're going to listen. You've got it down. You know when they're talking. Do it, do it, do it. Follow it, follow it, follow the guidance'. So, I did! And I've been doing that for years. And as proof of (this is just a little aside for you folks), as proof of the results of what I'm getting, I have pages and pages and pages and pages of a Word document in table format, when I am asking them for something. The date I asked, what I asked for, the result I received on the date that I received it, and the type of outcome I got. And my requests are always answered. There are a couple outstanding I still have had very long term, and I have not been able to add them in the table as a completed outcome, yet. And I don't worry about that because I just realized that it's in the small things that the bigger things eventually come. But if I had to show someone proof of, 'This is what I asked for, this was what I was absolutely stressed and anxious about' (and I'm talking big things here) ‘this is the result', I have my proof. And I don't need to try and convince anybody. Like I said, this is just me keeping track. And it's kind of fun doing it.

26:06  
So how did all this start? After the online Angel course, then I got notification that there was an actual live training with Doreen happening in Southern California in April. And I knew I just needed to go. I didn't know how I was going to go. Money was tight. Honestly, we were just really struggling. My husband had lost some contracts. Well, he didn't lose contracts, but he couldn't work either at the time. He is my daughter's stepdad, so fortunately, I felt that he had a little bit more grounding to him, and he helped so much with my then 13-year-old son. He took over house duties, cooking duties, shopping duties. And just let me be the sad sorry sack that I had instantly become. But having said that I was a sad sorry sack, let's also remember, I was doing my absolute best to find a way - figure out how I could get out of being a sad sorry sack one day. Hence the angels!

27:15  
So, when I saw this, what I'll just call ATP course, which was actually an Angel Therapy Practitioner course that Doreen Virtue was going around the world teaching at that time (this is back in 2005); when I saw that there was an April session in 2006 coming up, I knew I had to be there. I was terrified. Scared to death. But I knew I had to be there. So, bless my sister's heart, she said, "I'll go with you."

27:42  
So fast forward to April, a few months later, so we're talking nine months after my daughter’s suicide, I boarded a plane from Ottawa. She (my sister) was in Vancouver, and we met up in Los Angeles. And I won't go into detail, other than to say I was absolutely terrified to get on a plane. To leave the house, go on my own, travel. Go to the States. All things that were so natural to me up until that point. I mean, I could barely get myself out the door. I was terrified. One of the reasons I was terrified is one, I had PTSD and I did not know I had it. I wasn't diagnosed with that until 2014. And two, when I entered my bereavement; when I was thrown into this bereavement (and I don't want to assume this is the same for everybody, but I've read some stuff and it sounds pretty similar, especially for parents), it's kind of like you're looking through gauze. It's kind of like everything on the one hand, is in slow motion and surreal. And the world is the world, but it's not really the world. And nothing's making sense. So, I lost like colors. They weren't vivid anymore. I could tell they were blue and green and yellow and red, and I'm looking at my flowers, but I couldn't see the color. It was just sort of muted. And the world, the ground felt really shaky. And every time I put a step down, I was like, ‘Is it going to swallow me up whole?’ and I certainly didn't trust anyone or anything. So, getting on a plane and going to LA and trusting I had to get on this shuttle to get to the hotel, and take all of these steps until I finally could meet my sister, and go 'Oh my God. Okay. Someone. She's a lifeline. Someone to anchor me' - I didn't have that anchor in person. So, my husband had done everything by GPS. He wrote absolute step by step instructions about what I needed to do. Where I needed to go. And I used that paper. I still remember I had to 'Okay, do this, do this, do this, do this, do this'. And when I saw my sister in that hotel room, and I mean I can't remember exactly the feeling, but I remember meeting her, probably in the actual room we were sharing, and just the relief of, 'Oh my God'. And so anyway, from Los Angeles, I did drive. We rented a car and we took turns driving. It pushed my limits to be on busy freeways in California and move next to another location and another hotel. Get registered for the course. And actually, be at this course. And not only just be at this course, but within an hour, two hours probably, 'Okay, you're on! Find a partner. Start channeling the angels'.

30:40  
And the whole week was like that Monday to Friday. It was basically, 'Find your partner, this time we're working on this' ... and all these different things that we did.  And so, lo and behold, despite the pain and the fragility and the vulnerability that I was in, it was a really, really, really good thing that was happening for me, because I was around lots of people. While my joy of being there was very, very subdued, nonetheless, I was grateful to be there. I had some wonderful experiences, and met friends and you know, all of this stuff. And came away from that experience (had another week holiday and so on and so forth), and came back to Canada, back to my life, which at the time was not exactly what I had envisioned. So, I was working. I have to tell you, I was working as a cashier at a grocery store 45 minutes away, because that's all I thought, for me, I could do. I honestly, I needed to work. Money had been a bit tight to that point. And I honestly, my brain was so skewed, I literally thought that working for minimum wage was going to solve all our problems.

31:59  
If I could say to anybody listening, watching this that might be going through anything similar and newly bereaved, the one thing I wished I would have had known at the time, because I was still in the first year of my bereavement, was one, that I had PTSD. And even if I hadn't had PTSD, just the effects of trauma. The trauma of a suicide. The trauma of losing a child. And for anyone else, that might be the trauma of just losing a loved one to an accident. It may be a suicide, but just losing them unexpectedly and you're just, you're traumatized and shocked. You're still in shock by all of this. All of the secondary losses popping along. The changes to the family. You're no longer the same dynamic. There's like, a whole bunch of stuff going on. So, if I could look back at that and see my life, at the time, and just know, 'Listen, everything's gonna work out. And the fact that you think that you need to contribute' - but it wasn't even contributing financially, working these minimum wage jobs. I was working first at a gas station, a local gas station in the village that was nearest to where I lived. And then I thought, 'Well, I'm going to expand my wings now and I'm going to go and work in this massive grocery store as a cashier', which I absolutely didn't like. And I couldn't even do the commute. And I was paying probably more in gas than I was making for the few hours I worked in a week. So that job didn't last much more than eight or nine shifts.

33:24  
But if I'd had someone sit me down and say to me and work with me. If I had known there was a support resource, for example, trauma specialists for grief, trauma specialists for bereaved parents, trauma specialists just for suicide survivors. If I'd known about that and had resources, and had someone try and make sense to me, or there had been books about it or just a doctor that knew about this. None of them knew what was going on. It takes very astute and very educated health professionals, and some that are even committed just to working with trauma, to be able to work with people to help them understand what's going on in the brain at that time. And so, I made all these stories and all of these things that were happening in my life and in the life of my family, like huge monsters. And I was the only one that could deal with it. And I was the one that needed to save everybody. And I was the one that was responsible for all of our survival. So, one, I wish I'd known what was going on and just, 'Oh, okay, this isn't me, this is like my brain and something's going on in my body and my brain and my mental and emotional state right now. And nothing does need to make sense right now. I don't need to make sense of anything'. So that's one, I wished I'd known that. And two, I wish that I would have been able to be more calm and centered. And just trusted. Just trusted that what I can't solve today, one day I can solve. ‘Don't need to solve everything today, and we'll always be taken care of. The way will be found. There are solutions for everything.’ And, you know, sit down and be able to discuss with my husband, ‘Here's what we're going through’. We were both going through different things at different times. He had different concerns than I had. But had we just come together instead of growing increasingly apart, because we didn't understand what the other person was going through, and because we weren't really getting the help we needed, it really created a divide in our relationship. One that we still struggle with today. We're still together, 31 years married. But it has been a very, very long and difficult journey because of some things that we missed very early on in the grief process. 

35:51  
So having this almost euphoric experience in California, and it wasn't like, 'Okay, you're certified now'. We all had to go home and do a series of readings to complete the certification process. And so, once I did all that, leaving that sort of euphoric experience, to coming back to, 'Oh, yeah, I still have the job at the grocery store. Oh, yeah, we're still in this somber, solemn environment. Quiet and deadening almost’. And, I knew my daughter was gone, but I'd had some beautiful, beautiful visits with her, and I had three very physical experiences. Visits from my daughter, right after the ATP course ended, that my sister witnessed. One was a heavy perfume odor that was just hanging over me. It happened twice in one evening. One was the movement of objects, and the other was a very piercing electrical shock in my heart that happened at a moment I happened to be on the phone with my husband, talking. Because we had no contact through the course, five days later, five, six days after not talking to him, I was talking about how my heart had been opening up. And at that precise moment, this almost shock, pulse of energy pierced my heart. It didn't hurt, but it was noticeable. And to this day, I've attributed all three of those, all happening within 24 hours - well, actually, yeah, 12 hours of each other, absolute acknowledgement from my daughter. She was with me. She saw me.

37:45  
In my previous Coffee Chat episode, I talked about how I surrendered. I made a promise and a commitment at the sacred fire ritual that we did in releasing - releasing whatever, and I had committed to releasing my pain to my daughter. And that had just happened two nights previous. And so, at the end of this course, sitting in this hotel, I mean, this really euphoric experience in California, before having to go back to the dreary and painful existence of my "real life", was the start of me making this commitment to healing. And just trying to find a way - I didn't know how I was going to do it, I didn't know what I was going to do, I didn't know what was ahead in my future. I just knew I had to go home and make some changes from this training.

38:48  
So, upon reaching home, two weeks after I had been away, I gave up the grocery store job. I just gave it up. I was like, 'This isn't aligned with me'. And henceforth, I went into a period where I started writing Divine Healing. Which as I said, took five years. Angels channeled that. My daughter Janaya channeled many of the messages for me. So, that was a fantastic experience, in which I was writing about the healing I was going through at that time. I started an angelic healing practice. And I started doing readings for people. I started writing for one magazine in Ottawa, at the time, that was dedicated to alternative health. I got clients that way. I never made it a full-time business, just a part time business. And then, what I was finding, was that as life was starting to kick in and there were some other very real basic physical things, like money, that I needed to earn to contribute to the family, the mortgage, the everything; even though at the time I wanted to be where I am today, the experiences of having to do everything I've had to do: go out and work, commute, have a part time business, care for the family, rush, rush rush just to do all of these things, and not even really balancing them. Just basically surviving. And some parts of my life were more in sync with who I really wanted to be than other parts of my life, but in looking back, in the end, they all form who we become as a whole. And throughout this whole entire period, there wasn't a day, and not an hour in any day that went by that I did not work with, commune with, and stay in sync with, the angels.

40:54  
I started working largely (and I always did work with the Archangel realm) with the fifteen Archangels, as Doreen Virtue described them, because she sort of, became my mentor at that time. She's no longer working in the angelic field, but I do credit the work she did, all of the channeling she did, all of the amazing, amazing material and content she's put out in the world that's still available for anybody to purchase (and maybe even there's some courses through Hay House that are still available that she published through them); anyway, I credit her work as giving me the start. And me, with my own foundation of metaphysics from the time I was 25 years old, to being able to formulate my own relationship with the angelic realm. See them the way I needed to see them. Have them enter my life and work with and through me the way I was meant to be a channel for them. And it was pretty powerful. I have to tell you. It was pretty powerful.

42:06  
And in those years, up until early 2015 when I finally did my last one on one reading, I had attended health fairs, psychic fairs, phone readings, in person readings, did a live workshop, did speaking engagements. I had published my first book where I was a little bit concerned to go public with the angels. But I thought, ‘Well, that's what you do, you have to'. But I must admit, I was still a little bit, 'Oooh, people might think you're crazy. Oooh'. So, all of that was in that period between 2006 and, well even 2005 and 2015. And basically, one of the reasons I had to give up the one on one was because it was taking a bit of a toll on my health. And that coincided with a period of time where I had a diagnosis of PTSD, which further made me completely overhaul my life. It helped me leave a job after a two-year disability. Retire from a full time, well actually four day a week government job. It helped me find the courage to move across the country and get back on the west coast where I'm from in British Columbia, and I now live on Vancouver Island and have done for six years. And it just allowed me - all of that allowed me to become stronger. Have more of a focal point of where I wanted to go. Although, you know, I wasn't exactly sure. And to this day, I'm still not exactly sure always where I want to go. But there for me, through all of the difficulties, and I have to say looking back, all the trauma is over. I've never again experienced such trauma. Yes, I lost my parents. I lost my dad through normal older age and illness. I lost my mom extremely suddenly through a heart attack essentially when she was 78. The shock of my daughter's biological father also dying from heart disease. Boom! That was a bit of a shock. So, all of these little shocks and bigger shocks and losses, some worse than others, they all kind of built up built up built up built up. But through it all, dealing with it and still with this commitment to healing, was my reliance on angels channeling messages to me. Sometimes for other people but I could take the same advice. Channeling stuff for myself. Just making that commitment and choosing to want to be connected and in sync with this higher vibration as much as I possibly could, still not knowing how to coexist with that really heavy, dark part of the energy that is pain and suffering with this beautiful, light, ethereal, powerful, gentle, and well-meaning angelic energy. That is where I have finally learned to coexist with the two. And more and more, it's the ethereal light, angelic, beautiful, powerful, all-encompassing energy that diminishes the darkness.

45:45  
So not one to want to not acknowledge there is darkness in the world - there's darkness in our personal circumstances. Our life. I don't think anyone gets away from the darkness at one point or another in their life. My sort of take on it was, ‘Well, if the tragedy hits, you know, younger, hopefully it doesn't hit later. And vice versa’. But at any rate, even if there are people that get through this lifetime without any tragedy, more power to them. But for those of us that have had to go through severe hardship, dark times, mental, emotional, physical suffering, also presenting very dark, heavy, low vibration energy. Succumbing to forces that might feel and seem enticing, whether these are addiction, self-mutilation do I dare say, depression. All those things that we tell ourselves and do to ourselves to keep ourselves in that darker, very constrictive place, the minute you open yourself up, and go, "What if. What if?"  That's the moment that change starts. Honest to God. That's the moment change starts.

47:09  
So, not going into too much more detail here because I've spent enough time on this, I will say, I remember clearly in 2005 2006 driving, gripping the steering wheel. Sometimes going to that grocery store job. Every day going to that gas station job. Other times not knowing where I was going. Having to pound the pavement to look for work (because I didn't go out of the house any more often than I needed to); but then those days commuting when I finally in 2009 did get that first government gig full time and I was commuting. Anyway, gripping the wheel, asking the angels for strength. Asking the angels for guidance. All of those times. I was like, 'This isn't what I want to do. This isn't my purpose. This isn't my passion. This isn't making it worth all this pain. Please angels! Help me! Help me! Help me, help me find direction. Find guidance. Have courage. Stay strong. Feel inspired. See the light. Hold on to the light’.  All of these things, and then on a smaller scale, when I lost my slippers, when I lost my keys, when I couldn't find my glasses, when I couldn't find an important document - working with the appropriate angel to help me find all that. Being terrified of having a meeting, having an interview - asking the appropriate angel to help me with that. You know, protecting my home, protecting my child, asking for miracles, asking for opportunities, just making sure a parcel found its way to me okay without any hassle. Removing all of those things that presented huge anxiety, huge challenges for me, were terrifying for me; every step of the way, every single day, I worked with those angels until I got to a point where now they're just integrated into me. Have been for a few years.
49:19  
I have my daily affirmations with them. And if I need a little bit of a boost or I need to make sure something gets to me on time through the post; if I need my son taken care of just a little bit of extra there, they're the first I call to say, 'Hey, hey, angels can you (and I might work with a specific angel), can you do this? Can you help me with this? And huge, huge, huge, huge, huge thanks’. And they always do. They always do. So, always I ask for their healing. And that's what this episode was all about. Healing with the angels.

49:56  
So, my commitment, in the very beginning, to not let my daughter down. To not let her see me suffer, as I do believe that our loved ones in the afterlife do actually see us suffer and don't want us to suffer. I do actually believe that. So, to do it for her. To not ever let her death and her choice to leave, which is between her and her God, okay? Which may or may not be my God. It may or may not be your God. But whatever that was that allowed her to leave the planet, and allows any soul to leave the planet, because I also believe we die at the exact right time we're meant to go (easy to say, harder to accept when somebody's gone that you don't want them to have gone), I have asked the angels for strength. And in all of this, wisdom, and insight, and to help me share with others what I'm meant to share. What I'm supposed to share, and what I can share. All the while continuing to learn and to feel empowered and to handle the fear. Handle the anxiety. Handle the unknown. Handle all of the things that I still struggle with. Not least, that I would still lose my other child. I mean, I'm not gonna lie, that's still, like, 'Please don't ever let that happen, but if it did, give me the strength to deal with it' (that's kind of the level I function on), the angels can help us in so many ways. With so much healing that I have often said, it surpasses any physical capability from ourselves, or anyone trying to help us.

51:55  
So that is not to discourage or discount additional physical supports: medical doctors, therapists. Reading. Doing the work. Staying committed, doing what we need to do. Exercising. Eating healthy - not having anything in our body that's not good for us. Dealing with the addiction problems. Helping us have the strength to deal and face our traumas. Our past. Our present. Doing all those things that we're required to do while we're in this human body. But knowing that we can have the angels walk with us - and for those who have great faith in God, other religious entities (I'll say it just that way, because I want to be very, very respectful), the faith. Whatever we have that faith in that can walk beside us and keep us safe and being the best that we can be in these human bodies facing some of the toughest challenges (and in another episode, I'm going to be having wonderful soul sister talks with my actual sister about what we take on in this life, why do we do it, do we contract it ourself, how to stay being a light in the dark and all that kind of stuff), but for the moment, just doing it on our own - the angels can bring us moments, if not hours, days, weeks, months and years of bliss, and calmness and centeredness, and trust and faith, that everything is happening the way it needs to happen. And when we get our lessons, we can move on.

51:55  
It's kind of like a complicated, and maybe not complicated, but maybe like there's so much to pack into that, and to end on that note might be a bit unfair even, but this is just more an introduction to the power of angels. The ability of angels to help heal us and only based on my experience of what I went through. From somebody who thought that an angel was something in the Bible and guess what, I did a Christmas concert with my blue leotards on - you know, I still remember that, and then I could hang an angel ornament on the tree; to actually experiencing them work through me, for me, and to help others, has been one of the greatest, greatest gifts the loss of my daughter has presented me with. And that's saying something. But I'm being totally, totally, totally honest about that.

54:55  
Now, angels may not be for you. And they may not be for everybody. So, don't listen to this and think, “Oh my God, I have to go work with angels. Read everything there is to know about angels”. No. It's just to encourage you that if you do find something that is more powerful than yourself, in your human being state, in your humaneness, trust it. Rely on it. Work with it. Have the faith. Because it is, in my opinion, these unseen forces and resources that are the real power in our healing.

55:29  
On that note, I'm going to wind this up. I'm going to put links to the YouTube video I have on How to Work with the Angels in Grief. If you're interested, click on that. I'll put links to my books. Also, to my online course. And I would like to invite anybody that does want to take the course with me through my online school platform, called Get Me Started - it is a 13-lesson program that takes you from your absolute worst state that you're in, which may be farther ahead than someone else - and in the 13 lessons, takes you to feeling like you can basically create the life that you want. And guess what you can. I'm offering a 50% discount on that course for anybody who does enroll through the podcast, either on YouTube or on an audio platform. And it is my way of just saying, ‘Hey, I'm there to help you’, and it is the only platform I am making available to anyone who may want to pursue one on one coaching with me. This is not Angel readings but coaching with me either as grief coaching or life transformation coaching. So that opportunity may be made available to people once they decide to work with me in in the school and you'll learn more about it on that platform if you decide to go that route. 

57:04  
Meantime, I hope that the information I share in future episodes on this podcast, or as we get going here in past episodes if this is your first time to the show, I hope you find them inspiring, impacting and practical to help you get where you want to go. Thanks again for watching.