Ep. 72 Exit Points, Near Death & Surviving Family Dysfunction

Welcome to Soul Sisters! A 9-part series on the Grief Talk Podcast, where with my real-life sister Brenda, we offer thought-driven and inspiring topics for your soul!

In Part 3 of this series, we discuss exit points, near-death experiences, soul contracts, purpose, breaking free from family dysfunction, trauma, mental health, and manifesting your best life from the power you have within to create what you really want!

This series is for anyone who is bereaved, struggling or wants to enhance their life with the help of angels, a spiritual practice and a deeper connection to your inner power.

TIMESTAMP:
Welcome (0:00)
Recap of Part 1 and 2 (0:14)
Today’s episode on exit Points, near-death experiences, family dysfunction and manifesting. (1:54)
Exit points. (4:53)
Near-death experiences at age 4. (10:18)
Death, exit points, soul contract, purpose. (17:40)
Knowing when we’ll die. (20:19)
Dysfunction, personal responsibility and spiritual growth. (24:10)
Spiritual practices, unconditional love and light. (30:33)
Childhood dysfunction and its impact on adulthood. (40:11)
Childhood abuse and feeling powerless. (48:02)
Childhood and mental health. (52:44)
Trauma, parental relationships, and your drone self. (57:57)
Manifesting a better life despite childhood trauma, choice. (1:04:31)
The power within, believing and acceptance. (1:10:36)
What’s on next episode (1:13:04)

Connect with Brenda:
https://www.brendarachel4angels.com/

Brenda's book "Broken Spirit, Awakened Soul, My Journey of Healing with the Angels"
https://www.amazon.com/BROKEN-SPIRIT-AWAKENED-SOUL-Journey-ebook/dp/B0CBD3QLW8/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=Brenda+Rachel+Broken+Spirit&qid=1701376272&sr=8-1

Connect with Vonne:
https://vonnesolis.com/

Vonne's books:
https://vonnesolis.com/vonne-solis-books/

"Lessons in Surviving Suicide – A Letter to My Daughter"
"Divine Healing Transforming Pain into Personal Power – A Guide to Heal Pain From Child Loss, Suicide and Other Grief"
"The Power of Change"

Want Coaching?Book your Pre-Coaching Zoom call with Vonne at the below link to find out more:
https://calendly.com/vonnesolis/one-on-one-coaching-with-vonne-solis
 

Subscribe to the podcast! Share your favourite episodes! Connect with Vonne on LinkedIn and Facebook.

Transcript

Brenda Rachel  0:00  
Welcome to the Soul Sisters series where you'll get thought-driven inspiring topics for your soul! With Vonne Solis and Brenda Rachel.

Vonne Solis  0:14  
So welcome to another episode of Soul Sisters. This is our third episode providing you with thought-driven, inspiring information as two sisters, who grew up in the same family with a lot of dysfunction, and have basically arrived at a very similar place in our lives with completely different experiences. And all of these episodes that we're offering you on the Soul Sisters series, are giving you snippets into what led us to become who we are today. What got us through the dysfunction. Certainly what got us through our various challenges. How to stay motiv, how to motivated. How to stay inspired, and a whole bunch of other goodies that we talked about. So welcome to the Soul Sisters!

So last week, we focused on one point of the several we were going to talk about. And that was basically dedicated to the difficulty that well, I'm going to wager millions of people right? Struggle with in terms of staying on the, on the planet. Our own struggles in, in, you know, having that conflict in our personal lives, and more generally, trying to help people who do struggle with that inner conflict, knowing that they really are meant to stay on the planet, but the body, and the mind is telling them no, no. So tune into that episode two on Soul Sisters, Part Two. And you can hear a lot more about what we had to say about that. 

So today, what we are going to be talking about is exit points. And we're not going to spend a lot of time on exit points, but we want to give you an idea of what spiritual thought and and practice sort of teach about that in general, and how to think about exit points. We're gonna both be talking about our own near death situations that we have gone through. A few in my life. My sister, Brenda, she'll explain her own experiences around that and just how to think about them in terms of linking that to exit points. And then we're going to be talking about family dysfunction. We're we're sort of building a story for you. Paint the picture of the context, the framework in which we grew up. And how you know, because all of us are absolutely right sis, conditioned by our beliefs, the practices, certainly of our parents.

Brenda Rachel  2:47  
Yes.

Vonne Solis  2:47  
Right? And really, really kind of, you have to have it within you to break away from that. So that's why we're going to be talking to real dysfunction. Which some of us can also be really embarrassed to talk about. Right? 

Brenda Rachel  3:01  
Yes.

Vonne Solis  3:01  
I mean, we know that people don't come from perfect families. But you know, you don't sit there and go really public necessarily, unless you have messages about your personal dysfunction. It's to basically just really honour that dysfunction. And we do the best we can, as you know, family members in every role. But it does play a huge role in what we struggle with as adults. And this is what we want to 100% talk about and share any of the angelic wisdom. As both Brenda and I are Angel Healing practitioners as well, and authors and provide a lot of that information in the work that we do, but also just having these conversations. 

Brenda Rachel  3:44  
Yes.

Vonne Solis  3:44  
Yeah. And we want you to be part of that. We're also going to be talking a little bit, and we're going to be coming back to this over and over and over again because it's an absolute theme. Certainly in the work I do and pretty much the work you do as well in terms of, we're just going to call it manifesting. You and I really don't think of it as manifesting. A manifesting practice in our lives anymore, because we've done it for so long. And we just now ask the angels and you know, say hey, universe, angels, we need this and we get it. 

But for people that don't have that ability, we're going to talk about throughout this series, beliefs, principles. Just just ways of how we stuck to it and believe. So, we're going to be talking about a quote that my sister has in her book, all I have to do is believe to achieve and I love that. So we're gonna be talking about that a little bit. And closing out a we're just going to teach you with when things don't go your way. And we're going to be leading off with that in the next episode. Okay, so sis, let's open up a little bit with exit points.

Brenda Rachel  4:53  
Okay.

Vonne Solis  4:53  
And how you came to sort of learn about them.

Brenda Rachel  4:58  
Okay.

Vonne Solis  4:59  
And how you think of them today?

Brenda Rachel  5:02  
Okay. So where I learned about them was in Doreen Virtue's Angel Therapy Practitioner course that we took together. And during one of the parts in her course, she was talking about exit points. And I can't remember if it was eight or nine. Anyway, there was a number that she gave and said that we had, whatever the number was, I'm going to say nine. But anyway, exit points in our life where we chose to exit the planet. And but at any time, if we'd made a decision at that time that we had chosen to leave to not leave. 

Vonne Solis  5:47  
Yeah.

Brenda Rachel  5:48  
Then divine intervention occurred. And we did not leave. 

Vonne Solis  5:54  
Yeah.

Brenda Rachel  5:54  
At that you know, pre pre-destined, pre pre-arranged time that we chose.

Vonne Solis  6:03  
Yeah. Yeah. So, so I'm just gonna say here. I'm gonna frame mine kind of in soul contracts. And so it's really interesting. And I'm, we're only bringing this up audience just for a little bit of fun here. This is not to, like, convince anybody that there are exit points. But it's really more to think about going back in your life and going yeah! Boy did I have a close call? Right? And, what if I had died? And more importantly, because I didn't leave the planet wow! What what maybe happened? What did I allow to have happen in my life? It's just kind of fun. And it kind of puts another puzzle piece. I like to think of sometimes our lives and putting puzzles in. And if this didn't happen. You know, this did happen and I'm so grateful that that didn't happen. All to say that I do believe in a silver lining with everything that happens in our life. And some things make you kind of go, wow! I was maybe I was saved for a reason? Which ties into, you know, something we talked about I think in our first episode about purpose.

Brenda Rachel  7:10  
Yes. 

Vonne Solis  7:10  
And and really tapping into that. 

Brenda Rachel  7:12  
Yeah.

Vonne Solis  7:13  
And I, I believe that we are saved to do things. 

Brenda Rachel  7:16  
Oh, absolutely. It wasn't

Vonne Solis  7:18  
Right?

Brenda Rachel  7:18  
It wasn't until I was writing my, my new book, Broken Spirit Awakened Soul, My Journey of Healing with the Angels, and actually was given by the angels, the outline of what it was going to be about. Which was my four disabilities, and my eight near-death situations. And then I realized, wow, okay, it made sense what I had learned or chosen to accept in my consciousness about exit points from Doreen. These were all my exit points. And it made it made absolute sense to me that this is what was happening. And also that I had also made the choice not to leave.

Vonne Solis  8:00  
Yeah, as you're talking, I'm thinking here about what was really interesting, and we're going to talk to you about it just coming up right next, as how we both chose one at age four. Yeah, very different. We're going to talk about that. 

Brenda Rachel  8:13  
And I didn't, I didn't realize that we were both four 

Vonne Solis  8:17  
I know 

Brenda Rachel  8:18  
until we started doing the Soul Sisters. 

Vonne Solis  8:20  
I know.

Brenda Rachel  8:21  
And we started going through our notes and stuff. 

Vonne Solis  8:23  
Yeah.

Brenda Rachel  8:23  
It's like, wow.

Vonne Solis  8:25  
Yeah. Like, Oh, interesting alignment. 

Brenda Rachel  8:28  
Yeah.

Vonne Solis  8:29  
But what I'm gonna say about that. So what was what was, what I was thinking when you were just speaking there for a minute, is that these exit points that we have. And truly, it doesn't really matter the number. But I like thought it was like five or six. You thought it was maybe nine. So let's just say there's a handful under 10, for sure. And other spiritual practitioners may have different information about that. But the thing is that I'm wondering if when we don't choose one. And and we're talking like hair's breadth, that you could have been killed. Or maybe, you know, you had an illness. A disease or something that they brought you back and oh, my gosh, you know, they've saved you and everybody's like, what? 

So I'm just wondering if the chart in our life is going one way. And then it was sort of like, and I don't know. Like, I mean, I'm just throwing stuff out here. And then all of a sudden, it's kind of like, Oops. I didn't that was. The life could have ended there. But for some reason, and all of the people and the components. I'll just call them people components, everything we do in life, everyone we meet. All the next experiences shaped us. Forced us. Influenced us. I don't know, to do another take another another path. 

Brenda Rachel  9:52  
Yes. Yep. 

Vonne Solis  9:54  
And it's just so complicated, but it's just fun to think about. 

Brenda Rachel  9:57  
Yeah.

Vonne Solis  9:57  
Just fun to think about and go, hmm. 

Brenda Rachel  9:59  
Yep. 

Vonne Solis  9:59  
And um I do have some examples in my own life. Definitely, I can share them as we get going on this. But why don't we turn to our first almost dying experiences at age four? 

Brenda Rachel  10:15  
Okay.

Vonne Solis  10:15  
I don't want to dig too deep into it. I know what mine is.

Brenda Rachel  10:18  
Okay.

Vonne Solis  10:18  
I'll start. Well mine is very simple. I nearly drowned at this heated pool called Harrison Hot Springs. And I was running around the pool. And I probably have told you this before. And Mom and mom was sitting on the deep end. And our family used to go once in a while to this pool. And it's in British Columbia. And you know, it's a lovely little pool. Anyway, I ran as most kids do from the deep end to this point that was at about, you know, maybe three quarters deep end but on the side of the pool and fell in, of course. And I fell in right by this man. Older man. I still I still remember it clearly. And I couldn't swim. And I guess I was sinking. 

And I can still just remember looking at his legs from the knees down. Because he was sitting on the side of the pool and wondering why he didn't save me. Pull me out. But here's the interesting and it went no further than that. And but my little life went before me. And I still remember. I can't tell you I remember a collage of images. But enough that that was happening in my little young four year old brain, mind. And and then whoosh! Mom pulled me out. And had she not seen me go in? 

Brenda Rachel  11:47  
Well, yes. 

Vonne Solis  11:49  
Right? But that guy

Brenda Rachel  11:50  
I might not have a sister right now. Yeah. 

Vonne Solis  11:52  
Right. And anyway, it's not for me to debate and wonder why the guy didn't pull me up. Maybe he didn't know I was actually drowning. But I knew. That's the thing. I knew. Now I didn't at that point. I didn't see a white light. Nothing like that. So but for me, it really felt like, Oh, I'm not going to be here anymore. And then, mom saved me. And of course, I got in trouble for running around the pool. Now yours.

Brenda Rachel  12:25  
Oh, okay. Well, when I was four, I went to the store with my girlfriend in a little town called Quesnel to buy some candy. And mom had given us permission to go there. And so we got our candy. And then we were heading back to her place. And normally when we did this, we would end up in her house together. But for some reason, I do not know to this day how we got separated because our houses were back to back separated by a very small fence. We were fenced in, and they were fenced in. And so there was a pathway between our two houses. 

Anyway, I went through down the path and up the stairs to her house. And well, before I got up the stairs to her house, her brother had yelled out to me Where were we. He was screaming down to me, where did you go? In a really belittling way. And I just said we were at the store. And he said, What did you buy? I think I told him it was none of his business. But we had bought some candies. And so anyway, I asked him if Holly my my girlfriend was there. And he said, Yes, she's in the house. So I ran up the stairs and he immediately grabbed me and had a butcher knife knife in his hand and put it around my neck and dragged me into the house through the big double doors that they had. Wooden doors that they had off of the veranda into his house. And there was nobody in there but his sister. And he asked his sister, or he told his sister to shut all the windows that were really high up. And so she did. And then he held me at knifepoint. Dragged me through the house. And I was screaming for mom. And then miraculously, mom heard and she saved me. And to find out more about the details, it's in my book.

So yeah. Brenda details that story a little bit, quite a bit more in her in her book. And we're not going to get into the impact, necessarily, other than to say that

I was totally

Vonne Solis  13:16  
traumatized you right?

Brenda Rachel  13:19  
Right. I was traumatized for life.

Vonne Solis  14:06  
 For life.

Brenda Rachel  14:20  
By that. 

Vonne Solis  14:36  
Yes. 

Brenda Rachel  14:36  
And yes.

Vonne Solis  14:38  
Yeah. And so would you say so we're going to talk, we don't have time to get into all the details of these near-death. What we're just saying is both of us at four years old, had experiences where we nearly died. One from drowning. And my sister unfortunately being held at knifepoint, where our mom was able to actually, basically get her out of that situation. And

Brenda Rachel  15:04  
Well get both of us now thinking about it. Mom saved both of us.

Vonne Solis  15:07  
Oh, yeah, mom saved both of us.

Brenda Rachel  15:09  
 Yep. Yep.

Never never thought about that.

Vonne Solis  15:12  
Never thought about that either. Right sis?

Holy smoly. Thanks, Mom.

Brenda Rachel  15:17  
Yeah. Yeah. Love you mom!

Vonne Solis  15:19  
And so for me, I can't say at four years old, what that exit point would have been. But maybe it was more about mom needing us to stay then us needing to be here. I don't know. I'm just throwing it out there, given that she was our rescuer in both situations. 

Brenda Rachel  15:36  
Yeah.

Vonne Solis  15:36  
That's so interesting. The other two that I had when I was 18 and when I was 30. Both of them nearly been hit by a vehicle on a crosswalk. And you know where that you feel and I believe you had a near crosswalk death. 

Brenda Rachel  15:54  
Yeah. 

Vonne Solis  15:54  
What age were you? 

Brenda Rachel  15:55  
Oh, I can't remember. In my 40s. 

Vonne Solis  15:57  
In your 40's. 

Brenda Rachel  15:57  
Yeah, I had that near -eath experience. And I had a near-death experience, rafting. Whitewater rafting. 

Vonne Solis  16:04  
So we've each gone through a few. And I nearly lost my daughter who almost got hit. She did, actually. I did lose her when she was 22. But when she was about nine, she nearly got hit on her bike by a car, a speeding car. And that was one time that it almost felt like the angels kind of moved her a little bit faster than life really goes. I wasn't working with the angels back then I just want to say. I was actually she crossed the the rode her bike across the street before I had, you know, signalled we can go together. And so I was still on my bike stopped on the side of the street watching her do this. And I literally, it was literally like being in another time element.

Brenda Rachel  17:00  
Dimension, or whatever. 

Vonne Solis  17:01  
Dimension. As something and I'm gonna go say the angels for sure saved her because it wasn't her time to go. And so how I equate that to tie in these exit points to our own personal experiences, where we've had them. And I would wager almost all of us have had, Whoa, that was a close call. Or your kids. Somebody really close to you where it's really impacted your life. And in that situation, which I don't even know if I had told you about that situation with Janaya when she was nine. She was clearly going to leave me. It just it wasn't that exit. It ended up being 13 years later. Crap! But you know, yikes. 

Anyway, so those are interesting when you look at the whole contract. The reason for being here. Purpose. And a lot of us I think, if not most of us look for purpose. And our loved ones, our kids, our partners, sometimes our siblings. They play a part in some of our purpose stuff. People go through things together, certainly spouses in some cases. And it's just really interesting. All we're all we're doing here is inviting you to think about exit points. Any ones that you could have taken earlier in your life. It's not to sit here and contemplate when the next one is going to come up, because I certainly don't do that. But I think what it left me with overall, is understanding or at least thinking about we could go at any time. 

Brenda Rachel  18:36  
Absolutely.

Vonne Solis  18:37  
 Right?

Brenda Rachel  18:38  
Absolutely. 

Vonne Solis  18:39  
And yeah, and I think that's worth considering. In how we act. In how we treat each other. And yeah, and and just basically how we can plan. So if we in the event that we do pass, we don't leave things so messy for our surviving loved ones. I do a little bit of work on emergency preparedness. And we're not going to talk about that here. What we're talking more about is having these experiences ourselves, we know how fragile life is. 

Brenda Rachel  19:16  
Absolutely. 

Vonne Solis  19:17  
And it also makes you kind of think, hmm I wonder which exit I'm really going to take.

Brenda Rachel  19:22  
Right. 

Vonne Solis  19:23  
Does it do that for you a little bit?

Brenda Rachel  19:24  
It does. It does. But also what it did to me after the last one, I became very conscious of each breath I was taking for quite some time and especially when I go to bed at night. And I just lay there and I consciously breathe in and out and go it's just the last breath I'm going to take tonight?

Vonne Solis  19:43  
You do?

Brenda Rachel  19:44  
Oh yeah. 

Vonne Solis  19:44  
Oh wow.

Brenda Rachel  19:45  
Is this the last breath? Is this the last breath? Yeah.

Vonne Solis  19:49  
That's so interesting. 

Brenda Rachel  19:50  
You know? Because one never knows when it's going to be the last breath. 

Vonne Solis  19:55  
Yeah.

Brenda Rachel  19:55  
You know?

Vonne Solis  19:56  
Yeah. We've had sudden like our mom actually did end up dying really suddenly when she was 78 and none of us expected that. But both of us believe also that we become in tune when our time to be on the planet is kind of coming to a close. 

Brenda Rachel  20:15  
Exactly.

Vonne Solis  20:16  
Our time for transitioning. And our mom certainly knew that. 

Brenda Rachel  20:19  
Yeah. 

Vonne Solis  20:19  
And I know that people in palliative. That work in palliative, or even have shared stories about their loved ones who kind of were in tune with, you know, you know, waiting to take their last breath. So they had said all their goodbyes. But you know, I just really believe thatfor most of us or some of us. I don't know, which I want to say most or some that I want to believe. I want to believe we know when our time here is, is, is done. What we came here to do, we're complete. And everything we feel, you know, kind of like it's okay to go. 

Brenda Rachel  20:19  
Right.

Vonne Solis  21:05  
And that almost sounds like and I'm talking about going naturally here or, you know, basically having that exit point. And I wonder. I'm just going to ask the question. I don't know that we can answer it, because I don't think we can. 

Brenda Rachel  21:17  
Okay. 

Vonne Solis  21:18  
But the question is, I wonder if we are able to like if we set an exit point and say, I just really want to die in my sleep peacefully. And I want to live to like 102, you know, or whatever. I wonder and because that's so prominent in my mind? I just wonder if that's the one sort of exit point stamped approved. From the council in the other world. Spirtual Council. And yeah, and just relax Vonne. Don't don't even think about it. That's that's kind of the one that you've you've literally chosen. You were just playing with the other ones. But I don't know. 

Brenda Rachel  22:02  
Well, I think it's whenever we believe we 

Vonne Solis  22:06  
Yeah, like it's a

Brenda Rachel  22:08  
 Yeah, like it's a thought

We can manifest anything that we 

Vonne Solis  22:11  
Including our exit point? That was sort of the question. 

Brenda Rachel  22:14  
Yeah. Yeah. Well, I believe that.

Vonne Solis  22:15  
Do you believe that? 

Brenda Rachel  22:16  
Yes. 

Vonne Solis  22:16  
So I'm just saying relax out there. If you want to live to 102? Great. And that's not to say for people that you know that that say, because we did talk in the last episode on a more serious note here, all about the struggles that people have. So I'm not trying to make this super light hearted. All the people who struggle, you know, with just thinking they're done. And again, you want to listen to the episode to talk about it. Especially when you're involved with your purpose work, your light work, and all of that. So I'm not making light of this and kind of going, well, what exit point. Like, where's my exit point? Where's my exit point? It's very complicated. And yeah, but it's just we're just, we're just here to, you know, inspire thoughts, right? Conversation and and just 

Brenda Rachel  23:06  
Stimulate the old brainwaves there and see what actually feels right. 

Vonne Solis  23:12  
Yeah. And also, I think it adds a bit of a respect and honour for our lives. A preciousness to what we have chosen to go through on this planet. And we're going to be talking about that next episode. The pain and the hardship and the struggle and why? And, you know, really give yourself a pat on the back. Pat on the back.

Brenda Rachel  23:38  
Pat on the back.

Vonne Solis  23:40  
For number one choosing this. Oh, God, but sticking with it. 

Brenda Rachel  23:45  
Yep. 

Vonne Solis  23:46  
Right?

Brenda Rachel  23:46  
Yep. 

Vonne Solis  23:47  
I think that's kind of where I wanted to sort of go with talking about these. We're still here. We're still we're still here.

Brenda Rachel  23:53  
Yeah. Yeah.

Vonne Solis  23:54  
Okay. And so are you if you're watching this. (Laughter).  Yeah. Yeah you actually thought you weren't you really are. Am I right? Wakey wakey. 

Okay, so we're gonna turn to dysfunction. Yeah, seriously dysfunction. And the reason we chose this as something to talk about is, as I mentioned earlier, it really shapes us. And the more the more expansive our consciousness comes, it becomes. And obviously you can, you know, add your thoughts on this as well right now. The more kinda like you just take responsibility for your life. Your incarnation and all that that encompasses. The good, the bad and the in between. So Brenda and I, were like that right sis?

Brenda Rachel  24:54  
My absolute code of conduct for how I operate is I create my own reality. 100% So there's nothing that I do not accept responsibility for in my life at this point. It took me a long time to get here, but I have no one to blame. And I blame no one for anything that has happened in my life to this point. Nobody. 

Vonne Solis  25:26  
Yeah. And we've both lived like that for decades, really. Decades. So I will, I will acknowledge and honour for those of you who are tuning into this and going, yeah, no, no. I can, you know, what about my, you know, child abuse and this. So I basically, and in my years of being a practitioner, and helping others, I always say, I don't touch those subjects. That really is something that you know, issues that are really, really just too traumatic for you to deal with as an individual in this life? In this incarnation? Then don't deal with them and if, if it's just too massive for you, for me, for you to take responsibility for something that has happened. 

And so I say that respectfully, but also coming from being a bereaved mother and losing my beautiful, gorgeous only daughter at the age of 22 to suicide, I feel that I am comfortable enough sharing how I choose to live my life, and I absolutely, still ran with that you know, or I still, I still applied that principle. Foundational, like what you said, code of, code  of how you conduct yourself. How I believe. It's so entrenched in me, I still recognize that I chose this experience losing her. And I respect and honour that this experience has happened in my life. There's no blame. We do not blame others do we?

Brenda Rachel  27:11  
No.

Vonne Solis  27:12  
I don't even blame my daughter for going. So that is a foundation of what both Brenda and I - well both you and I either teach. Share in messaging however we do our work and how we lived before. It's just when you live like that and yeah, yeah, I got it. I believe that too. And then something really happens to challenge that. Right? Like, you're not wanting to be on the planet and your own suicide attempt. And me losing my child and certainly not wanting to be here. You know. It, it I knew I knew I wasn't, I knew I wasn't going to end my life necessarily. But I had to dig deep. I had to dig deep to want to stay. But I still, still right off the bat knew and accepted, I had created the experience. I just didn't like anybody reminding me of that. You created that. I was like, you know, go away. But, so I'm saying that super respectfully if anyone is listening to this and watching this, and just going, you're just wrong, you're wrong. Okay, I am wrong. And I respect that that is not something that you want to, you know, apply or believe in for your own life. And I respect that. So when we're talking about about this, and you're the same way. A lot of compassion and empathy for people who aren't where we are in our thinking.

Brenda Rachel  28:55  
 Right.

Vonne Solis  28:55  
And just, you know, it's for me, it's all about just taking. No for me, it's all about whatever little key message. It could be three words that stick in your mind. And I have, I've had to do this all of my life since I began my spiritual practice at age 25. You can only absorb so much. And then even when, you know, you have all of that? When Janaya died and I was 23 years into my spiritual practice, I had to relearn it all pretty much. So I get it. I really, really get it. So

Brenda Rachel  29:33  
I think the one thing that I also want to say is what I understand for myself and what works for me? I'm not at all trying to persuade any other person to think or adopt any ideas that I share. This is, I have come to this understanding through my own trials and tribulations.

Vonne Solis  29:57  
 Yeah. 

Brenda Rachel  29:58  
And I have walked my own, my path my own way, and by myself. And so I'm not here to convince anybody to, to adopt these ideas

Vonne Solis  30:14  
right 

Brenda Rachel  30:14  
and practices that I that I have put in place for my life. And this has taken me a long time because I did not come into the understanding of I create my own reality until probably the 80s. 1980s. And so.

Vonne Solis  30:33  
But here's a question even on that note. Yeah, it take it took years for both of us in our and we weren't sitting there comparing notes, hey sis! We both arrived at our metaphysical spiritual practice on our own. In our own time. I was 25. And I had my own set of circumstances that that brought me to it. And quite frankly, it was becoming a mom, and at age 25, with my daughter. And you came to it your own way. And so you don't compare notes on this. But you do absorb the information, and have it, I always just love the word expand. Expand your consciousness and expand your life, the way you can and the way you are sort of guided to. And you may have some experiences that are like really super powerful. 

You know, at the time I came into contact with, you know, all of us in colour in in the spiritual realm, realm, which was the actual, I think moment I connected to higher consciousness. And I would have been about 27 at that time. But it wasn't until just a second here, it wasn't until 2006, when I was just months before we both went to train under Doreen to be at that time, we were called Angel Therapy practitioners, that my third eye actually opened. And that took losing my daughter. And my actually my third eye actually literally opened and I saw it for years. And and then eventually I didn't need to always see it, and it kind of so that's there. But you know, and other people saw it too when we were at training. So things happen to us in tiny

Brenda Rachel  32:17  
Yeah.

Vonne Solis  32:17  
tiny things which I think are the most wonderful to practice rather than, you know, be hit with something so enormous, that is life changing. But that is quite frankly, how some people choose to become aware. Become enlightened to change their whole entire life experience. And all it takes is one kind of light bulb moment and you're on that path, right?

Brenda Rachel  32:44  
And I'm just going to throw out here for those of you who, you know,  talking about third, third eye and higher consciousness and all that. So for myself, I don't even really know what a third eye is, and I've never had it open. And I've never seen anybody in a higher consciousness frame. So I'm just saying to you, it doesn't mean that if we're saying anything to you, and you're going 

Vonne Solis  33:07  
Yeah, I haven't done that yet. 

Brenda Rachel  33:09  
I haven't done that yet, it may not be your path to ever come to your spiritual awakening on this planet through anything, or some - either anything or some of the things we're saying. Because our journey is our journey. Our individual journey. And my sister will have had many experiences that I have not had, and vice versa,.

Vonne Solis  33:34  
Exactly.

Brenda Rachel  33:35  
And so, but it doesn't mean we haven't been on a spiritual awakening path here for years and years and years. So everybody has their journey a different way. And that's all I want to make sure that you understand. So we're not trying to leave you with if you've never had anything we're saying happen to you that you didn't get it? 

Vonne Solis  33:58  
Yeah.

Brenda Rachel  33:59  
No, no. You may have had totally different experiences, and fully be on your spiritual paths. 

Vonne Solis  34:05  
And I think, I'll let you speak to this really quickly. I think the overall thing in when when I think of a spiritual practice, and I think of, well, metaphysics is really just looking at life. That it's more than the physical and a ton of stuff falls into that. A spiritual practice for me is acting with the knowledge that there is more than just this human body and to treat everyone including myself, and the last one takes maybe a lot, a long time for a lot of people. But even if we start with treating others with the respect, the honour, the "I see you" that, that it's really true. I see you. And and just, you know, just honouring that we're all in this together on this planet. And it's choosing just to be the best that we can be on any given day with love and kindness in our heart. Simple terms. 

And some of us learn that as parents with the absolute love that you feel when that little babe is born. And every single parent who, you know, is obviously wanting to be a parent, and they look at that child and, my life has changed. I have never felt a love like this before. So that and I'm talking here for good parents and a well meaning and intentioned parents, of course. And so just let's keep it in that context for the moment. That that same love. Unconditional love that sometimes it takes a child for us to you know, open it up. You know, sort of engage with that. Sometimes it's a partner. Sometimes it's just like what we were talking about. Something that's happened that brings you to that. Could even be a near near-death, life experience. A near death experience. Whatever it is that brings you to that, Oh, my God. I just feel this overwhelming. It's an overwhelming, just sense of almost internal bliss for me when I'm when I'm just in that state. And because we can't necessarily always stay there, it's just having those principles of how we want to treat each other the way we would want to be treated. I mean, that's kind of a long-winded take on it. But I don't know. How would you sort of define just a commitment to a spiritual practice and because it's not all about well becoming a channel or being psychic or as Brenda says, seeing these things in another realm and communicating with someone in the afterlife. None of that which really makes a spiritual practice. What is a spiritual practice for you?

Brenda Rachel  36:43  
Well not being a mother. So I've never experienced having that first look at your baby when it's born. So all, I've come to understand, and I write about this a lot in my book, but my philosophy has basically come down to applying five traits in my life, which are caring, consideration, compassion, kindness, and respect. To treat each other with those qualities or traits. And for me, that's what gives me a sense of unconditional love for another human being. And when I'm treated, it's exchanged with me, reciprocated to me, I feel that love with the other individual. So and it's obviously, it can be anybody. It doesn't need to be a family member. I've had many exchanges, one on one where, which are fleeting. Very fleeting conversations with people which have been, where did that come from? And,

Vonne Solis  37:50  
And it's really cool, if you have a fleeting moment, with, we'll just call them a stranger. But there's something that's kind of like, I know, you. I see you. And I know, you. And the other thing I want to say is animals. Animals can bring that out in us.

Brenda Rachel  38:05  
Absolutely.

Vonne Solis  38:05  
Unconditional love, kindness. You know, compassion, and just oh my god. And I no longer here, an example is I no longer have animals in my life and Bren has a cat. But anytime I see a little muppet of a puppy, or a cat, a kitten. Doesn't matter. Any animal. You know, that brings out those same feelings in me. That, that warmth and joy because, you know, I no longer have a small child to cuddle and feel that warmth, with but any number of it. You might see that in nature. That's not the point. The point is, I think that I want to just sort of conclude this little topic on is when you are in a in a in a spiritual consciousness and have love for others. Love for yourself. Love for whatever you can in this world. And you wish, you basically come from a light, okay? Basically, it's light, and that type of energy that you just and you see it. You see it as possible. And, and when you meet someone else with that same consciousness? It's just a connection. 

Brenda Rachel  38:05  
It's wonderful.

Vonne Solis  38:06  
It's a bond of connection. And it can even be online. You know, it can be, you know, a virtual thing. It can be just, it's but it's this, it's this you have the same energy.

Brenda Rachel  39:02  
I think what I also will interject and say, and it might be for you as well. But when I've had this exchange? This quote unquote, light exchange with another human being? That I feel so much joy in my heart and walk away from from that whether it's a tiny short couple of minute conversation, or it's a longer conversation. Or it's several exchanges over a period of time? I just feel much happier in my soul after I've had that experience. 

Vonne Solis  40:08  
Yeah. Food for the soul. 

Brenda Rachel  40:10  
Exactly.

Vonne Solis  40:11  
So let's talk a little bit about dysfunction. And I decided today to, you know, be really open and honest because we've talked a lot. So we came from dysfunction of suicide attempts. Multiple suicide attempts, you know, by our mother. Well, until I was age 10 and you were about I'd say 14. And so I don't personally want to dwell on that. And one of the reasons today is because it's very complicated. And one of the reasons I don't talk and haven't talked very much about it, in my work, and, you know, on my podcast, and episodes and things like that, is because we're, we are a culture, that's very quick to judge. And because I lost my daughter to suicide, I won't disrespect her journey on this planet, and other people characterizing her as mentally ill, and what was in the genes, and so on, and so forth. You know, all that stuff. 

And I once did an interview many years ago. It was actually about a year after, no. It was actually just maybe three or four years after, after she passed and it was on a community cable channel. And I was there basically, and made it clear, I wanted to be there to just share inspiration and talk about the work I was doing and not focused at all on suicide and my daughter's passing. And they asked a couple of questions, and then edited the whole thing down to like five minutes. Where it focused only on all of these really super negative aspects of, you know, mental illness and things like that. And I said, I'm never going to do that again. So, but it is a fact that we grew up with that, you know, situation. And so we were very aware of death, right? Potential death, as well as we could understand it in our various age ranges. 

Brenda Rachel  42:10  
Well I think

Vonne Solis  42:10  
Would you say?

Brenda Rachel  42:12  
For me, and I'm pretty sure for you, but you'd have to say, we are very aware of life and impending death. Like, like, at any moment. 

Vonne Solis  42:22  
Yeah.

Brenda Rachel  42:23  
Because we never knew when we were going to come home from school or church or whatever, if our mother was going to be alive. So not for a long time after her first, or, or first couple of attempts when we were smaller. But as we got a little bit older, I can only speak for myself. But I used to cringe walking down our street, which was a very short street to our driveway, wondering if she was still there, or had been taken away.

Vonne Solis  42:54  
Yeah. And so because I was younger, I felt, and the reason I'm bringing this up is for anybody who is struggling with dysfunction. Came from dysfunction. You're embarrassed. You're ashamed about it, and so on and so forth and many other ways it impacts us to feel different. So I will say from probably the age of six when I kind of became aware of it? And we lived in a pretty typical suburb, right. A medium sized town. Suburb. Nice home, big backyard, blah, blah, blah, all that stuff. But having a parent who was in trouble, and years later, I will never diagnose another individual, but having been in touch with many different, you know, mental disorders, in trying to determine, geez, what may have been what may have, you know, what did they miss with my daughter, and just different things, okay? I, remember I said to you recently, I honestly thought Mom was dealing with postpartum depression. Which in the 50s, was not something we talked about. But six pregnancies, six years, two miscarriages in those. Four kids in six years. Then four live births in six years. It was a lot for her and at her heart, and I want to honour and respect this about our mom, is that our mother was a a a pianist. A musician. An artist. And um, she had a right to have that freedom of expression in her life. 

But for whatever reason, in her contract. Her choosing, she ended up going the route that you know, needed to be a mother as best she could. But clearly these attempts were you know, and I'm just, you know, basically saying it how I feel. You know, either her cry for help that something was wrong. Really really wrong. And at that time, there just was no help for it.

Brenda Rachel  45:08  
Right. 

Vonne Solis  45:09  
And so she went through her own journey. Which we're not going to talk about her journey. But we love her. We bless her. Respect her. And we are happy to say that she did recover when I was 10. Working with a fabulous therapist. Who understood that how they were trying to treat her I suppose, I mean, I was a kid. So I'm just and I didn't get a chance to talk to mom too much about this in her life. So had she told me this in her words, I would share some of what she said. She didn't. So I am just expecting we do know, she did say and share with us, that changed her life. Getting the right help. 

Brenda Rachel  45:45  
Yep. And then from there, she found her purpose work.

Vonne Solis  45:48  
She did. And she was amazing. And she dedicated her life to her music. She painted. She was amazing at anything she did and touched. And really, I think her artistry had been her create, creativity had been smothered by this domesticity and being stuck in a in a situation that felt so wrong for her soul. 

Brenda Rachel  46:14  
Correct.

Vonne Solis  46:15  
And I you know, I honour respect that for anyone struggling with that? Oh, my goodness. Because until you understand that you're not aligned with why you really, your larger purpose? Why you really came to this planet? And we do other things, I don't want to say as diversions. But because I think everything we do is charted and, you know, and is meant to be. But I think we can sometimes get muddled and put more importance on some things that we can either grow out of, or we need to make more space for ourselves, and don't allow ourselves to do that. 

Brenda Rachel  46:51  
Yeah.

Vonne Solis  46:52  
And I think and I think so much dysfunction comes from that. I wanted to just ask you. So giving you a little bit of context, folks, the context about our childhood, I would say that's probably pretty severe dysfunction. Right? Like not knowing if you're going to have a parent alive when you come home? That's a lot to kind of deal with, with, and both of us having some trauma. You know, experiences directly related to situations dealing with mom in respectively that, you know, impacted us. So for me, what I really wanted to ask talking about this today is, how did this dysfunction? Just really generally characterizing it because again, we're talking and trying to help people that have this. Alcoholism, you know? Abandonment, drugs, even abuse, you know. We were also both hit. You know, we weren't abused per se but you know, this, I consider spankings on bare butts, it'd be abusive today. You'd get your kids taken away today. It's embarrassing, humiliating. 

Anytime that you're as a child, being treated by a parent or guardian, where they are abusing that, that responsibility and making you feel powerless, through violence. Through abuse of any kind. Through abandonment. Through you know, just even, you know, shaming us. Through, you know, forcing you to, you know, either shut up or put up you know. There's so many numerous things that we come from as adults in our childhood. And it's it is all dysfunction. But I did want to ask you with our own dysfunction, which by the way, I personally am not making worse than any other dysfunction. But I did just want to acknowledge that I think it was probably pretty severe. How did it impact you in making, I don't want to say necessarily making choices for your life? But just how did it influe influence you as you left home? And and you know, and sort of charted your way through your adulthood? Did you let it? Did it influence you negatively? Like how did it leave you? 

Brenda Rachel  48:10  
Well, I think no, I think it influenced me more when I was living at home. And you know, at age 13, I wanted to die. I actually ran out of my classroom at school and ran underneath some bushes and just prayed. And I was very much into Christian philosophy at that time. Christian religion, and just prayed to God to please take me.

Vonne Solis  49:41  
So, so why? At 13 to even have that awareness. What what? Did you want to just escape the home life? 

Brenda Rachel  49:48  
Oh, no. Well, I was just devastated at the situation with me feeling that the whole community knew my mom was crazy and mental and um

Vonne Solis  50:01  
So did you feel ashamed? 

Brenda Rachel  50:02  
Yeah. 

Vonne Solis  50:03  
Oh you felt ashamed?

Brenda Rachel  50:04  
Yeah.  I felt very ashamed to be and also very angry because they didn't know, mom. And so I felt like it was

Vonne Solis  50:14  
What do you mean by that they didn't know mom?

Brenda Rachel  50:16  
Well to follow

Vonne Solis  50:18  
You mean the mental stigma?

Brenda Rachel  50:20  
The stigma of being

Vonne Solis  50:22  
right 

Brenda Rachel  50:22  
of being mentally ill 

Vonne Solis  50:23  
right 

Brenda Rachel  50:23  
that that she was crazy and nuts and all the other things that you would use as adjectives for somebody who was mentally ill back in the 50s and 60s.

Vonne Solis  50:33  
Well they use it today. 

Brenda Rachel  50:35  
Yeah.

Vonne Solis  50:35  
They literally that's again, why I've been very quiet about this. But interesting, I want to jump on the point that I'm six. You're you're 10. I'm seven, you're 11. I'm eight, you know, you're 12 until 10 and 14. And we had similar interpretations of what was going on around us. You would have had a little bit more awareness and real understanding. I'm a little kid and I don't know. But I did feel the shame. Oh, my God. Couldn't have sleepovers, right? 

Brenda Rachel  51:09  
Yeah.

Vonne Solis  51:10  
And like, there was something wrong. I just, I still though remember. I haven't let this impact me and where I'm really getting to this is if we've let any of this dysfunction impact us. But I still remember clear as a bell. You know, very, very rarely could I have a friend stay overnight. And more often than not, nine times out of ten, I'd have to go to a friend's place. And I was really impacted is the only word I can say, by how their houses, you know, their homes. Their home life. It's what I wanted. And I didn't have that. Now, to be clear, we lived in a bungalow. Nothing wrong with it. Our dad worked for the government, right? Brought in the steady paycheck. But the four walls don't matter. What matters is the dysfunction and the turmoil going on within us that doesn't allow us to see that. So our home became something to almost, I don't want to necessarily say to be feared, but how you were saying you would sometimes have anxiety or what what you know coming down the very short, you know, little street. It was called Elm Street. And so for a lot of years, I was like yeah, Nightmare on Elm Street? It's true. And there was even a murder suicide across the street from us. I will not name the town. Okay? But that's but but having this some foreboding. It's like a foreboding.

Brenda Rachel  52:43  
So for me. I just want to jump in here okay? 

Vonne Solis  52:45  
Yeah.

Brenda Rachel  52:46  
So because of mom's illness and me being the oldest of four kids, and it being, her being, starting having her suicide attempts at very early on. So I, at the age of eight, took over the responsibilities of being the mother in the household. So I did the cooking when I came home. I got supper ready. I did the laundry. I looked after all the kids, the other three kids, to the best of my ability. So I basically became like the second mom in the house. And so my childhood was basically

Vonne Solis  53:23  
You were robbed of your childhood. 

Brenda Rachel  53:26  
Yeah. I did 

Vonne Solis  53:26  
Robbed of it.

Brenda Rachel  53:27  
Yeah I didn't have what a person would call like a normal childhood. So I was a very, very mature eight year old. And I was left to babysit the kids like when I was 10. And well, for me. 

Vonne Solis  53:38  
Yes. So just to be so, there were four of us all two years apart. 

Brenda Rachel  53:41  
Yeah.

Vonne Solis  53:42  
Give or take.

Brenda Rachel  53:43  
Basically. 

Vonne Solis  53:43  
Yeah. At a certain point in the year we're all two years apart. 

Brenda Rachel  53:46  
Yeah. Yeah.  So anyway, I'm just saying I became sort of the mature

Vonne Solis  53:51  
You were the caregiver.

Brenda Rachel  53:52  
Caregiver of the four children.

Vonne Solis  53:54  
You were the child caregiver of children. 

Brenda Rachel  53:57  
Yeah. 

Vonne Solis  53:57  
And I would have been, the illness with our mom started right after the birth would you say of our youngest brother? 

Brenda Rachel  54:05  
Yeah.

Vonne Solis  54:06  
And so I would have been?

Brenda Rachel  54:08  
Oh, no, I'd say it was she had she was hospitalized before you and after you with her 

Vonne Solis  54:14  
So it started even before I was born?

Brenda Rachel  54:16  
Right. With her two pregnancies she lost. 

Vonne Solis  54:20  
Yeah.

Brenda Rachel  54:20  
Yeah. 

Vonne Solis  54:20  
So, so your experience was the caregiving and the responsibility and knowing at 13, I'm out. I'm out. But just having that awareness. I'm going to I mean, today, we have 10 year olds taking their life. I mean, my God. So we didn't, we didn't hear, I didn't hear the word suicide as a child in the home. Not that I can remember and I'm aware of but I was very well aware to the degree I could understand it, that mom had done something to kill herself. So the words really in my frame of reference were kill herself.

Brenda Rachel  55:08  
Right, right.

Vonne Solis  55:09  
Right? Is that how you resonate? 

Brenda Rachel  55:11  
I would say like, I never understood anything about it being a suicide attempt.

Vonne Solis  55:18  
No, we didn't talk about that like that. No. So it's just our mom kept trying to kill herself. 

Brenda Rachel  55:24  
Yeah. 

Vonne Solis  55:24  
And I can't have my friends over. Hmmm. And, and I don't even know if this is a clear memory where sometimes maybe we couldn't even go somewhere because something like of a crisis nature was going on in the family. But the whole thing was so dysfunctional. Relationships, everything. It was just a small space of such dysfunction, right? It's a miracle like that we actually came out of there without any severe addictions. I left home just before I turned 16. And I mean, I guess I could have ended up on the street. But instead, I ended up working for the phone company. I did lie and say I was 17 when they hired me and I was promoted to a supervisor. And so I guess that says something about, because I also kind of think that we choose our disposition that we're going to come into the life with?

Brenda Rachel  56:22  
Oh absolutely. We choose everything.

Vonne Solis  56:24  
Right? Like, I'm going to be a positive person in this life. And I'm going to go up against so much dysfunction. But you're also going to be a supervisor at the phone company when you're 17. Like, yeah! Like, right? High five!

Brenda Rachel  56:38  
High five!

Vonne Solis  56:39  
Brenda worked at the same phone company.

Brenda Rachel  56:41  
We worked there together. 

Vonne Solis  56:42  
Yes, we did. Anyway, we won't discuss any more about that. But we did have fun. And I moved on from there after about a year. So being that kid caregiver, and as a kid yourself? Ahhh.

Brenda Rachel  56:56  
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 

Vonne Solis  56:57  
So what has that done to you?

Brenda Rachel  56:58  
Well, it's made me a very mature adult and kind of always, like I didn't have time to, to really think too much about myself. Because I was looking after ... my primary role was to caregiver. So that's what I've kind of been most of my most of my life as a, is a caregiver. Whether it's been through, sitting through you know, listening to people just talk to me, and I needed to be just a listening ear. Or to provide counsel when I felt that I had something that that person needed to hear. Whatever. Anyway, the role for me just definitely wasn't to grow up and get married, which I had wanted to do and have children until that didn't, wasn't

Vonne Solis  57:53  
Didn't happen.

Brenda Rachel  57:53  
Wasn't part of my path. 

Vonne Solis  57:54  
Yeah. One fun thing to do, in the midst of all this doom and gloom, is, I love to sometimes just pretend I'm going above my body. And quite frankly, usually, I'm lying down when I do this. You know? With my high ceilings here. And I look at my life, you know. I just kind of look at it in pieces. Chapters almost. And kind of like, kind of, like, just make a montage. 

Brenda Rachel  58:27  
Oh, yeah. 

Vonne Solis  58:29  
Of what I've chosen. How I was as a kid. Things I love. Things and and and I you know, you kind of can do this when you have specific memories. Like I loved clothes and fashion. And I was fascinated, you know, by cutting out pristine images from the Sears catalog. And I still remember cutting them out. My living room with the right furniture. And the Mom and Dad. And the two kids. And I'd put all the different rooms, lay them out, you know, on the bed, and kind of play house like that. And that's kind of what I ended up creating in my life. 

And so you can actually quite clearly, if you go back and sort of do this thing where instead just kind of digging into your memories, but kind of taking a snapshot like a drone. Your drone self and looking down at what impacted you the most. And there's going to be a few really really vivid memories. You know, me banging away on an Olivetti typewriter typing this story. And you know, and just writer. So a writer. Somebody liking clothes. Doesn't mean I went into fashion but I have always paid attention to appearance for the most part. You know, wanted that that pristine home. And all of these things can of course cause some problems for us if we you know, don't deal with where are these things come from. And we're using that as to as a way to kind of make up for what we didn't get. So, and there's nothing wrong in creating a great life for yourself, because you don't want to repeat the dysfunction.

Brenda Rachel  1:00:18  
Right. 

Vonne Solis  1:00:19  
But what I'm getting at here is, have we dealt with the trauma of that in our lives? I'm not sure I did.

Brenda Rachel  1:00:29  
Oh, I'm complete with the trauma now.

Vonne Solis  1:00:32  
Yeah, well, I'm not saying I am or I'm not. I just didn't make the trauma a part of my adult life. Honestly, I didn't. So I would agree with you. I don't feel like I'm sitting here, anything incomplete. But both our parents are also gone. So there's not much you can clean up and clear up with them anyway, if you were incomplete. But I just don't think that impacted me to the point I couldn't, you know, choose you know, like. How do I want to say this? Like, a better life. 

Brenda Rachel  1:01:08  
Yeah.

Vonne Solis  1:01:09  
Not get stuck. And do you know what I mean? I just

Brenda Rachel  1:01:11  
I do I do. And I guess for my part, like, I had a wonderful relationship with mom and dad. Both of them. 

Vonne Solis  1:01:18  
Yeah.

Brenda Rachel  1:01:18  
Right until they died. 

Vonne Solis  1:01:20  
Yeah.

Brenda Rachel  1:01:20  
So mom didn't live near me when she died. But I talked to her every day for months. 

Vonne Solis  1:01:26  
Yeah.

Brenda Rachel  1:01:26  
Because I was waiting for surgery and except for the day, she died. And we had made an arrangement the day before that we wouldn't talk the next day, because we were just saying the same thing over and over. And then that was the day she died. So for that I'm a bit uh

Vonne Solis  1:01:43  
But wait, wait. Interestingly, I have to say I did talk to her. And unlike Brenda, even though I lived within an hour of mom, I wasn't the one talking to her every single day, every single day. So it was kind of it's kind of like a nice sharing that I did get to have that conversation that afternoon. 

Brenda Rachel  1:02:00  
Exactly. Exactly. So I'm just saying. So for me, I don't feel that I, I had a great relationship with both my parents. So that was never a problem, although we didn't live in that either of them live in the same city as me. But

Vonne Solis  1:02:15  
So here's a question. Do you think that and I don't want to simplify this. We are coming to the top of the hour too, as we talk about this. But do you think that not blaming your parents, our parents, your parents, our parents, for well we certainly can't blame anyone for illness? Right? But the way the illness was handled was quite traumatic. Right? By dad and, you know, there was just a lot going on. But not blaming our parents, do you think that frees us to just go and live our our best life instead of getting muddled by, you know, all of these things that simply put can kind of sometimes force us to choose, I don't want to deal with this. I am so pained and hurt by this. I'm just going to blur it out. And we do that through many devices, addiction, you know, just so - numerous things. 

Brenda Rachel  1:03:21  
Well, for me, it's just, I don't feel and I never, it was never part of my consciousness to blame mom or dad for anything that happened in my life. Just wasn't part of my consciousness.

Vonne Solis  1:03:30  
Yeah.

Brenda Rachel  1:03:31  
Not even until I became aware that I chose everything that happened to me in my life anyway. But yeah, so.

Vonne Solis  1:03:39  
It it is complicated. Again, we're just talking. You know, thinking as we're talking and just inviting you to think about your own situation. If it has impacted you. Stalled you in any way.

Brenda Rachel  1:03:53  
Or also if you're in a situation right now.

Vonne Solis  1:03:53  
 Yeah.

Brenda Rachel  1:03:53  
And the situation hasn't passed. 

Vonne Solis  1:03:54  
Yeah. 

Brenda Rachel  1:03:58  
And you have an opportunity, maybe through what we're sharing, is to say, oh, you know, like you have an opportunity at this juncture, to maybe do something or think a different way about what's going on in your life with with whatever situation. And just, you know, just know that there's more than one way to look at something.

Vonne Solis  1:04:21  
Absolutely. And there's more than one way to do life. My strongest influence, I think, for me, was that I must have developed a sense of independence as a kid. 

Brenda Rachel  1:04:31  
Oh, you were very independent. 

Vonne Solis  1:04:33  
And

Brenda Rachel  1:04:34  
and you 

Vonne Solis  1:04:34  
I was?

Brenda Rachel  1:04:35  
Oh yeah, you were very independent.

Vonne Solis  1:04:36  
And very, very strong spirited. And I wasn't gonna let anything get me down. Hence that's why I left home just before my 16th birthday. And has helped me live a life that very often has gone outside the color lines in decades that things weren't really you know. Like I was a single parent In the 80s, and it was still frowned upon in the 80s, literally. And I just never let anything hold me back. And that has served me extremely well having my most life changing experience happen. Which was losing my my daughter. I want to kudos, give credit here, kudos to having my son who is a wonderful support. He's 31 now. But losing my only daughter you know, that has been the most devastating and challenging experience I've taken on in this life. 

Brenda Rachel  1:05:41  
Yeah.

Vonne Solis  1:05:42  
In every, in every area, including my spiritual thought. And my my spiritual foundation is what I want to say. And I think that choosing this dysfunction family model helped me really survive what I've survived the last eight years and brought me right where I am today. So I want to say on that note that it has brought us to what we do today, and it's in its various ways. We were not held prisoner to it, which a lot of people are right? A lot, well what what I guess what I want to say is like a lot of people blame their parents and their family dysfunction for how it ruined their life. And I couldn't be any other way than the dysfunction that was shown to me. 

Brenda Rachel  1:06:36  
Mhh. Mhh.

Vonne Solis  1:06:37  
And, um

Brenda Rachel  1:06:39  
Right.

Vonne Solis  1:06:39  
And so, you know, and this all sort of ties into not only self-responsibility, but also understanding that we have the power within us. And this goes right back to our first episode we did together when we talked all about like church influences and things like that. Things that really influenced us as children to understand and then and then as young adults, I should add with with more spiritual type, but still Christian related principles in that that under, helped both of us, we were saying in that first episode, about how we understood the Source. The God. The Creator. That something really was much bigger than us in this human life, but we still have the power within us to tap into that, and create the life we really want. 

And so I want to move in as we close this one out and tease you a little bit for the next episode in talking about choice. So we can choose basically the more awareness that we have what we want to be impacted and influenced by. Good, bad, right? Take the easy way out. Take on the challenges, right? See the glass half full, half empty. You know, all of the opposites that we're presented with, throughout life. And you talk a lot about this in your book as well. Being presented with the, the opposites. 

Brenda Rachel  1:08:07  
Yeah.

Vonne Solis  1:08:07  
Do you talk about them as opposites?

Brenda Rachel  1:08:09  
Contrast.

Vonne Solis  1:08:10  
So we do get to choose what we want to be influenced by and manifest the life that we and that's why I'm gonna go back to the word manifest. And manifest the life that we want, until we get to the point where we basically just put the order in and basically, let it come to us, as it needs to be delivered to us. When we're ready for it, by the way. But just touching briefly, because we're going to start with this next episode, on this whole concept of manifesting and believing, okay, maybe I can have a better life. Maybe I don't have to let my childhood impact me this way. You know, maybe I do want more than my illness. Maybe I do want to move beyond my grief. You know, take any any number of life experiences or events. There's millions of them. So we're going to tease you a little bit with where we're starting in the next episode, where my my, this is my sister. So why don't you read, read what it says.

Brenda Rachel  1:09:15  
Okay. It says, All I have to do is believe where there's a desire to achieve.

Vonne Solis  1:09:22  
And you wrote that in your book, and I just loved it because it's true. All you do have to do is believe that you can achieve when you have the desire to do so. And I'm paraphrasing on that one. And that has been a foundational piece since my start into a spiritual practice and understanding metaphysics in my mid 20s as I was both pregnant and you know, became a new mom. And interesting fact is, I did have a lot of trauma going on in my life when I was expecting Janaya. It brought me to the unity Unity Church. And I literally thought I was going to lose her while I was pregnant. And that, interestingly enough, brought me to this need and desire to go to Unity. And I didn't know what I was going to find at Unity Church, but I embraced all of these, you know, principles. They felt, right. And as you embrace information. As you personally want to grow and expand your life, expand your consciousness, you'll know when you're hearing the right messages.

Brenda Rachel  1:10:36  
Oh absolutely. What happens for me is it just resonates within me. I feel light. I feel bright.

Vonne Solis  1:10:42  
Yeah.

Brenda Rachel  1:10:42  
And I know it's right.

Vonne Solis  1:10:43  
You feel like you're at home. For me, I sobbed when these messages first started to open my mind and my heart and I knew my my baby was going to be okay. And I committed to be the best person I could. I wouldn't have seen it back in those years as evolved. But that's exactly what I was choosing. To tap into my agreement for this incarnation where I was going to evolve to the best, and to the most that I could before I leave this planet at 102, dying in my sleep. 

Anyway, we want to leave you with that thought. That you can create the life you want, right? What do you want to know your closing words on that, for people watching or listening to this? 

Brenda Rachel  1:11:35  
Well, I guess the one thing I would say is, you're never too old to set to set a goal, and to say to yourself, or when I say a goal is something you want to achieve. And so it doesn't have to be big and lofty. It can just be I want to get up and feel happier today, or, or whatever it is for you. And just really understand that that comes from a place of A) knowing you can have it, but like believing you can have it and expressing you can have it and accepting that. And so it is. Today it is here and now I have received it. And so as if it's in the present moment you're receiving whatever it is you're asking that it's here now for you. And not something that's going to happen three months down the road, or, or six months down the road, or when you change something in your, in your being. We can create whatever it is that we want if we, whatever we desire, in any given moment, for anything that it is that we want, that we want to achieve. But we have to believe it. We have to really come from a place of, I absolutely believe I can have this. Otherwise, it won't happen.

Vonne Solis  1:12:59  
And I'll just add that you deserve it.

Brenda Rachel  1:13:01  
Yeah.

Vonne Solis  1:13:02  
And you get it when you're ready for it.

Brenda Rachel  1:13:04  
Right.

Vonne Solis  1:13:04  
And we'll teach you how to do that in our work through all the various platforms, and formats that we work.

So I did want to just say that next week, we are going to be opening with this idea, again of talking a little bit more on this ability to create what you want. And none of these quick fixes like you know, there's a secret. No, there's not. And the things, and pain specifically, that we're going to be having, opening up a discussion about that many of us choose. My case, it's been mental emotional. My sister Brenda, it's been a lot physical. I'm not going to say there hasn't been mental and emotional because you get mental and emotional pain from physical illness. Which that's your whole area. Mine is the the bereavement. And the and while Brenda's bereaved as well, interesting again, because we come from these polar opposite experiences. I'm the one that is in the, you know, you know, the painful, painful grief of the loss of the child. And Brenda has obviously experienced loss of a niece and the grief and we give credit and respect and you know, in grief, you know, in all of our situations. But more the physical, which I haven't had to deal with.

So we bring you know, a well rounded you know, array of experiences of pain and suffering to this idea of what do we need and want to let go of to choose not to be stuck there in some cases, or accept that we are there in this life. And maybe one day we won't be. So we're going to be tapping into a lot of different sub-topics related to that next episode and I do hope you tune in. And until then we are the Soul Sisters!

Thanks for watching. Thanks for listening.

Brenda Rachel  1:15:14  
Bye.