Ep. 70 Your Life Your Choice! Are You Living the Life You Want?

Welcome to Soul Sisters! A 9-part series on the Grief Talk Podcast, where with my real-life sister Brenda, we offer thought-driven and inspiring topics for your soul!
 
In Part 2 of the Soul Sisters Series, we discuss the choice we make to be here and the conflict this can present for anyone (but especially light and energy workers) to overcome the darkness of sometimes our personal world and the world in which we live. We also share what keeps us going. How we all can feel inspired when facing struggle and uncertainty, regardless of our experiences, when we understand the power that we have within to shape our lives any way we want to.
 
This series is for anyone who is bereaved, struggling or wants to enhance their life with the help of angels, a spiritual practice and a deeper connection to your inner power.

TIMESTAMP:
Welcome (0:00)
Sisterhood, angels, and personal growth. (0:16)
Healing, manifesting, and sharing messages with the world. (5:13)
Finding inspiration and purpose despite challenges. (10:39)
Near-death experiences and spiritual guidance. (15:39)
Coping with trauma and grief through self-care and spiritual guidance. (21:10)
Perspective and motivation for personal growth. (26:52)
Spirituality, purpose, and afterlife. (32:26)
Grief, suffering, and the power of love. (37:51)
Empathy, spirituality, and personal choice. (45:59)
Personal power and choice in difficult situations. (52:38)

Connect with Brenda:
https://www.brendarachel4angels.com/

Brenda's book "Broken Spirit, Awakened Soul, My Journey of Healing with the Angels"
https://www.amazon.com/BROKEN-SPIRIT-AWAKENED-SOUL-Journey-ebook/dp/B0CBD3QLW8/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=Brenda+Rachel+Broken+Spirit&qid=1701376272&sr=8-1

Connect with Vonne:
https://vonnesolis.com/

Vonne's books:
https://vonnesolis.com/vonne-solis-books/

"Lessons in Surviving Suicide – A Letter to My Daughter"
"Divine Healing Transforming Pain into Personal Power – A Guide to Heal Pain From Child Loss, Suicide and Other Grief"
"The Power of Change"

Want Coaching? Book your Pre-Coaching Zoom call with Vonne at the below link to find out more:
https://calendly.com/vonnesolis/one-on-one-coaching-with-vonne-solis

Subscribe to the podcast! Share your favourite episodes! Connect with Vonne on LinkedIn and Facebook.

Transcript

Vonne Solis  0:00  
Welcome to the Soul Sisters series. Where you'll get thought driven inspiring topics for your soul! With Vonne Solis, and Brenda Rachel.

Vonne Solis  0:16  
Okay, so welcome to Soul Sisters series, Part 2 this week. I am Vonne. This is my sister, Brenda. And we are so happy to be with you bringing you thought-led, inspiring information. So welcome to the Soul Sisters.

Vonne Solis  0:36  
So last week, we covered what I'll just call here, our first insight to awakening. We talked about the influence of more traditional conventional church in our earlier lives, and how we moved on into church communities that were, you know, more metaphysical and expanded our consciousness. And we gave you a sneak peek into the work of the angels and how this influenced us and continues to influence us today. We talked about manifesting. Also, for both of us a sneak peek into how working with the angels has influenced and changed that for us, which we're going to be talking about in future episodes and really help you with that if you want to, you know, work with the angels. And basically, the fundamental truths of what has shaped us to become who we are today.

Vonne Solis  1:31  
So, welcome, sis. 

Brenda Rachel  1:35  
I love you.

Vonne Solis  1:35  
I love you! Brenda and I live next door to each other just as a little insight. And in our mid to late 60s, this is the first time in our life right? We've lived as neighbours. And we have come from complete polar opposites of experiences, personality, likes, dislikes. And yet we have found a way to arrive at a very similar point in our lives. And that's what we're sharing with you as part of the Soul Sisters series. In case you have a sibling, and especially a sister that you love, but maybe don't feel as close to and how you can develop that closeness and get along, even if you don't see that as something possible today. And also how to love and respect those differences, right sis?

Brenda Rachel  2:22  
Absolutely. Absolutely. So I'll just clarify. We don't live next door to each other in an apartment building. 

Vonne Solis  2:29  
Yeah.

Brenda Rachel  2:29  
We live next door in different apartment buildings.

Vonne Solis  2:32  
Yeah, for sure. For sure. But anyway, we ended up, the point is we ended up arriving physically, also in a very well, similar situation. 

Brenda Rachel  2:37  
Exactly. 

Vonne Solis  2:44  
Anyway, so I started the Grief Talk podcast also, just to give you a little more context, in July 2022. And one of the things I had wanted to do, since the inception of this podcast is to have my sister on to talk about some stuff that I don't really get to, I mean, I get to talk to people about it. But it's not the same as talking to someone how you arrive at different places. How you get through conflict conflict. How you get through tragedy. How you get through trauma, than with someone who is of your own bloodline, and especially a sister. So that is the the goal behind this series is also to touch on those topics that are near and dear to us. But we both have a metaphysical background. We both have worked as Angel Healing practitioners since 2006. 2006. We both certified under Doreen Virtue. And my sister, I was newly bereaved for nine months and bless her heart. She didn't want me to go to California alone.

Brenda Rachel  3:51  
I certainly didn't.

Vonne Solis  3:52  
And so she went with me. I don't know if you even really wanted to certify, but you did.

Brenda Rachel  4:00  
I certainly did. Yeah. 

Vonne Solis  4:02  
Yeah. And that's developed

Brenda Rachel  4:03  
But it was totally, totally on, not on my path. It was one thing that was totally out of the blue and completely completely has changed my life. 

Vonne Solis  4:12  
Yeah. And we'll be sharing in a future episode exactly how we got into angels. And, and a little bit more of that story certifying in California. Laguna Beach, actually, with Doreen as two sisters. There was a triplet of sisters there. They weren't triplets. But there was a triplet of sisters there. And I think that was the only other sibling 

Brenda Rachel  4:34  
Duo like.

Vonne Solis  4:36  
Yeah, trainees. And it was so cool. And we were like, isn't it cool? There's like three of them! And other people were probably like oh, they're sisters. And there's something special about sisters right?

Vonne Solis  4:47  
There's something special about sisters.

Brenda Rachel  4:49  
There is.

Vonne Solis  4:49  
I don't know. Anyways, despite our differences also want to just add that you and I have many times over the years despite how different we've been right? Have bought the same card for someone. 

Brenda Rachel  5:01  
Exactly.

Vonne Solis  5:04  
And she in Vancouver and me back east in Canada and we'll give somebody a card and it's like the same one. So anyway, there you go. I guess more alike than different. 

Vonne Solis  5:13  
So today sis, I just want to help help, share our message with the world by let's just have an you know, a nice, totally relaxed conversation as we always do. And I just wanted to talk about our current vision for the world. And the other thing I would like to share with you audience, is Brenda and I are also both authors. And I've written three books. Brenda that has written two books, and I'm going to be putting links to those resources below. But some of what actually drove me to finally you know, basically say, let's do this sis, is me reading your latest book. And I'll just show you and it's going to be flying in, but it's Broken Spirit Awakened Soul, My Journey of Healing With the Angels. And reading this book, just was like, wow! There's so many things about you, like I knew, but I didn't know. Not to the degree you kind of shared things like rafting and you know, doing all of these things in life that takes huge courage in my estimation, and a sense of adventure. So you're like the person that, I'm going on the on the rapids. I'm going on the on the trail. I'm going around that lake by myself, and I'm like, Um, okay, I'll see in the coffee shop afterwards. No trail for me. No walking around the lake. 

Brenda Rachel  6:40  
Yeah.

Vonne Solis  6:40  
Certainly not by myself. And some of those experiences were like, holy crap. I don't know if I could do it. 

Brenda Rachel  6:45  
Yeah, no, I know. I know. And now when I look at it, I know I can't do it now obviously for different reasons. But when I did it, but I had my dog. I had my trusty dog. 

Vonne Solis  6:55  
One thing we do have in common for sure, hey? Is we have how many hours have we talked about what we want for the world. What we want for people to understand to share and and have joy And have a full life because of well, basically, we we've come from dysfunction. 

Brenda Rachel  7:12  
Exactly.

Vonne Solis  7:12  
Right?

Brenda Rachel  7:13  
Exactly. 

Vonne Solis  7:14  
So I was reading your book, and as I was reading your book, and I and then I went to mine, and I went, Well, wait. What did I say? And so I thought, Well, why don't you just go. Page 17. Right where I have the little sticky.

Brenda Rachel  7:29  
Okay.

Vonne Solis  7:30  
So instead of me just sort of paraphrasing, I made notes on little yellow stickies as I read some things that were really, really impacting for me in your book. Why don't you just read what you wrote on page 17, what your vision is for the world. And then I'll, I found what I wrote in mine in Divine Healing.

Brenda Rachel  7:46  
Okay. My spiritual vision for all of humanity is that the people on this planet who have an abundance of love in their heart will share it with others. And their inner light, which radiates from this light, love will shine so brightly that those who are encompassed within their own darkness created through their own fear will be drawn towards the light. This will recur, this will create an opening for peace, harmony and unity to prevail, and a global healing to occur on our planet.

Vonne Solis  8:15  
I love that. I love that.

Brenda Rachel  8:18  
Thanks.

Vonne Solis  8:18  
And so with me, and so a lot of what I'm teaching audience in my coaching is from Divine Healing. And this is my first book that I wrote.

Vonne Solis  8:42  
So this is what I ended up writing and this was would have been back it years ago. Years ago, up to 2009. This book took me five years to write. Divine Healing. But this is what I wrote to complement what you said. Manifesting the life of your dreams is all about knowing how to set realistic goals based on heartfelt desires that remain central to your intent to holistically heal. Holistic Healing is all about developing a true appreciation for the major lessons, you have masterfully created to help you spiritually grow, some of which no doubt will come to you through suffering. By condec by connecting deeply to the more universal lessons of forgiveness, compassion, acceptance, trust and love, it is my hope that you come away from reading this book with an awareness of the incredible power you hold within to transform not only yourself, but also the world by putting into practice the divine wisdoms the angels have given to us.

Vonne Solis  9:51  
And so really why I wanted to read that is because both of us as authors over different periods of time. So I guess I knew I wanted to be a writer as a kid banging out my first, you know story on an old clunky Olivetti. But I knew that, you know, writing was going to be an intrinsic part of my life. I didn't know how it was going to come to me. And I'm not happy the way it did come to me, which was losing, you know, Janaya, obviously, in 2005, which, my daughter to suicide when she was 22. And so, all of my work that I'm just, I'll explain to you audience, all of my work since then has been rooted in my desire to basically not choose to suffer in life. That's basically it. 

Vonne Solis  10:41  
So where yours is, is I think, similar. And, and having the compassion and the kindness and the empathy and for each other, and for the world in general, right? So we can have a peaceful place of existence. So, you know, you and I have talked so many times about our work is centered in wanting a peaceful world. And here, we both know that it is possible. Well do you think, like, and how many times have I said to you, what, what keeps us going? You know, like, we came from that sort of light worker term era, right? And I don't know what people are called today. But like, and how many times have I asked you, right? And we've discussed, if we keep doing this work, and we keep holding this vision, and truly do believe that light will overcome the darkness, right? And we both believe that. 

Brenda Rachel  11:41  
Absolutely. 

Vonne Solis  11:41  
But then how do we keep feeling inspired to believe that when it doesn't seem like what we're doing and what other light workers and other practitioners and anybody. Anybody who's good in this world can't seem to overtake those dark forces?

Brenda Rachel  11:56  
Well, I think for me, it's just, I'm finding that it's what drives me. It's my purpose. It's my soul's purpose. And I've come to this point through the things that I have experienced. And so I just every morning, I just ask the angels, what is it that you, what message do you want me to get out today? Or, or, or messenger you want me to be? Or if it's just how can I, if I'm dealing with something that I want to transform within myself, to be a better light in the world? Then I always start out with having my conversation with the angels in the morning of kind of what my, what's my purpose? Not in those words, like angels, what's my purpose for being here today? 

Vonne Solis  12:46  
Yeah.

Brenda Rachel  12:47  
But just, you know, whatever it is that I'm wanting? Because it's really hard for me to want to be here with things that are going on in the world and like, all the darkness and things like that. And I know, I'm here to be a light. And sometimes I feel like, there's not a lot of receptivity to the light. 

Vonne Solis  13:07  
Yeah. And wait. I'm just gonna ask. So couple of things there to maybe help some maybe help some of you watching or listening to this. But you know, where we all get really dismayed. So I just want to say, again, a little bit different perspectives based on experiences and stuff. And I've said many times, no, I'm gonna live to 100 and maybe beyond, because I have my son and like, I don't want to bail on him. And at this point, I'm not really, I'm not really digging too deep into that. Like, do you want to be here for you or is it really your family? And like, really him and you know? But my guess is it is. If it was just me by myself, so I'm going to speak to you audience, if anyone is like Brenda, in that where, you know, you don't really have another person. You don't have a child. You don't have that. And I think a lot of us live for our kids. I'm not saying we live through them and for them without completely abandoning us. But I think a good number of people who have created offspring find a certain joy. And not everybody, obviously. I know, there's lots and lots of dysfunction and things like that. So I'm just speaking to the people that can resonate with me as a mom. Having lost one child, but even before that, I would have never, you know, wanted to be here as long as possible to support my children, right? That's the best way of saying it. 

Brenda Rachel  13:07  
Right.

Vonne Solis  13:08  
And when I feel that that person. That child is ready, at whatever age to be okay with me gone? Which is why I think a lot of parents in older age, kind of wait until that moment they said goodbye to everybody. And then pick that moment where they can peacefully just drift off and that's my dream, right? Rather than some traumatic kind of death. But speaking to the person that is alone. But even if you're not alone and feeling that way, right? Because I will acknowledge there are people who have family. May even have children. And they still feel that way for any number of reasons. What would be your sort of feeling about where do we draw that inspiration from? What does it take for us, the bottom line is what does it take for us to want to push past push past whatever darkness hasn't been eradicated by the light to still do our work? And still trust that we can have that experience.

Brenda Rachel  15:38  
Well I think it's like, you know, when I had, was laying on my the bed. My spinal decompression bed and it was my last treatment. And that was in 2014. For my back. And then I was going on to rehab from in the back back clinic. And I was morbidly depressed going there. Because I felt like I had, my it wasn't that my back wasn't getting better. But because my back, it was pretty much still in the same place eight weeks later. But I had no no purpose. So it was like, why am I getting better? What's my purpose for getting better? And I'm off disability from work again. And there's nothing. There's just nothing, no, nothing's been answered. 

Brenda Rachel  16:27  
And so anyway, I laid on the bed, and mom came to me. And she just said, I just said, or she said, Brenny, you have to get your music on iTunes. One statement and she left. Popped in and popped out. And I went, I knew nothing about iTunes, and nothing about how to get my music on there. Anyway, that gave me enough motivation from that session to forward to my back clinic, because to my five months at the back clinic, which of course on that day, I didn't know what's going to be five months. 

Vonne Solis  17:00  
But here, I just want to interject for a second. So it's not that you're you are, okay, let me phrase it. So it's like you were, mom coming to visit you. 

Brenda Rachel  17:12  
She gave me what what I'm trying to say 

Vonne Solis  17:14  
Like, were you tapping into your purpose without really necessarily knowing what that purpose was ultimately going to lead you to?

Brenda Rachel  17:20  
No. I think she was answering the question for me. Because I had been asking, What is my purpose? And I had also been saying to the angels in my bedroom, like a couple of days before that. I had stood there and said to the angels. This was in 2014 when I packed up all my stuff. Threw out all my photos. I was de-cluttering my house. 

Vonne Solis  17:42  
Yeah. Yeah. 

Brenda Rachel  17:43  
And I, and that I made a conscious choice to do that. Because I didn't know how much longer I was meant to be on the planet. Not that I was going to do anything to not be here. Just what was my life span? And so then I stood in the bedroom, and I said, angels take me home. Please take me home if there's nothing more you want me to do here or show me some way what you want me to do. And then two days later, my treatment? Mom came to me.

Vonne Solis  18:11  
Mom comes through.

Vonne Solis  18:12  
So she was an answer of what I needed because I still, at that point, there must have been a part of me that was not consciously aware that I still had purpose work to do. 

Vonne Solis  18:25  
Yes. 

Brenda Rachel  18:26  
That I wasn't done on the planet. 

Vonne Solis  18:27  
Yes.

Brenda Rachel  18:28  
Right? 

Vonne Solis  18:29  
So that's what I think is so important. And as I was saying, I can just sort of see Mom, there, Well I'll deliver the message to Brenny. And, but it's not like this long winded script that they're giving us. You know, whether it's a loved one, for people out there listening to or watching this. It's not necessarily if you're lucky enough to have a loved one come to you from the afterlife. It is like such a gift.

Brenda Rachel  18:49  
Yes.

Vonne Solis  18:50  
And the angels can come to all of us. 

Brenda Rachel  18:53  
Yes.

Vonne Solis  18:53  
That is accessible to all of us.

Brenda Rachel  18:55  
Absolutely.

Vonne Solis  18:55  
I would say accessing the energy of a deceased loved one? Not so much. It is, but because we're so you know, untrusting or mistrusting of that experience? I think we would put more blocks up around having our departed loved one come to us than maybe an angel. I would, I would say it might be easier to learn to trust in those visits. For example, I learned to trust in angelic visits. Right? And I started working with angels, right, you know, like, a few months before Janaya died. It took me years to trust her visits. Because I just didn't think it was possible. And I don't know it's a weird thing. I mean, I might be unique in that, but I doubt it. 

Vonne Solis  19:37  
But what I'm seeing is so just to recap that a little bit. When we are struggling, So to that one, one message. Which you had no idea what iTunes was. You had no idea where that would lead you. But ultimately it's led you to where you are today.

Brenda Rachel  19:55  
Absolutely.

Vonne Solis  19:55  
Right? Writing your books. Doing all your messages, your music All of that. We're not getting too deep in that but in Brenda's book? She'll go into detail in that. But the point I want to make here is that when we're in that dark, that darkest of places and not wanting to live. So I will acknowledge here and I will acknowledge for anyone also watching this, of course, I have not maintained always wanting to be on the planet, especially when Janaya died. I struggled daily, hourly with not wanting to be here. 

Vonne Solis  20:30  
So my little story similar to what you had was, so I'm floundering. So again, this is something for the audience I want you to. that we that we share with you, is we've had drastically different experiences, but struggled with similar things.

Brenda Rachel  20:49  
Exactly. 

Vonne Solis  20:50  
Not wanting to be on the planet being one of them. So what what what I'm getting at here is what it takes to find that spark within even when you're given a message such as you to put your music on You, iTunes. You could have said, No. And God knows where you'd be today, if you'd done that. And for me, in my early struggle, now, at this point, I will admit, I had been working with the angels and very trusting of them. I was less trusting of my ability to be a channel. I didn't even sit there and go, I wanted to channel. I just wanted them to basically save me, although I didn't put it in those words. I was looking for some kind of, you know, anchor to something I could trust and believe in that would ultimately make the suffering worth it. 

Vonne Solis  21:42  
And so, again, I wouldn't say I was consciously aware I was doing that. But looking back, that's clearly what was going on for me in this traumatized and shocked brain of mine. But along with that, and then the human side of that. So you with your back pain. Me with my mental and emotional suffering, it was too much to bear basically. It really felt like it was too much to bear. And so I was not able to be fully present for my son. And I wanted to be but I couldn't be. So fortunately, you know, he had his dad. And so I was grateful for that. It gave me space and time to kind of I'm not even sure but just be just exist. Exist in this abyss of nothingness. 

Vonne Solis  22:34  
And so here's my little story. So one night, so I'm struggling. Which is every day pushing myself. You know, when you wake up in the morning people? Sis? Or if you used to. Maybe don't do it anymore. But when you're in severe pain, trauma, grief, right? And you wake up and the nightmare is still there. And you just basically really don't think you can handle it. Just be, right? And then you make a decision. You make a choice to put your feet on the ground and get out of bed. And while I guess some do and some don't. And if you don't make that choice to get out of bed, I don't know what happens to those people. Because honestly, I didn't do that. So something deep within me was still pushing me to get out of bed. Brush my teeth. Shower, be clean. Do a little tiny bit of yoga. Like just I could barely move but just, ooh a little tiny. And I didn't know what for. 

Vonne Solis  23:38  
And one thing that helped me if you're in this situation right now and listening, either in pain, physical pain from like an injury or disability. Or you're in grief as I said. A bereaved dad once told me to just split my day in three. 

Brenda Rachel  23:54  
Oh, yeah, okay. 

Vonne Solis  23:55  
And so I did. And so I would like wake up and go, Okay, I only have until noon. Okay. And then at noon is like, Okay, I made it and then it would be like, Okay, I only have to like five o'clock, or six o'clock, whatever it was. And then it would be okay. I only have until you know, bedtime. 10 or 11. And but anyway, so that really helped. That's a great tip if if a whole 24 hour period feels too much to handle? Splitting it at least through your waking hours can really help because it doesn't feel that you have such a big chunk of time, which slows down. Oh god doesn't it slow down when you're in like pain and agony? Mental, emotional? Oh my god. And it's like, when is this going to end? It's only been 10 minutes. And you're like, Oh my god. 

Vonne Solis  24:42  
Anyway, this one night, I awakened and I never slept well. But you know, I awakened and I was in that you know, place of sort of awake but can't move. You're sort of kind of not pinned there, but you know, aware. But anyway, and this presence. I won't say in that one I felt a physical presence. It was just speaking to me and basically very, very, very, very, to the point. Do you want to be here or not? Very lovingly. Just very lovingly. And it was, I knew a simple yes or no. And I said, Yes. And so kinda like, if you didn't do the iTunes thing, I don't know, what would have happened if I'd have said, no, no. Please take me. Because because like you, two days earlier had been, you know, asking for answers. Well, I too, had been struggling, and really, really preoccupied with like, what it would be like to choose to basically exit. And that voice just, which was probably the angels. I'm gonna say it was the angels, just said to me it is as simple as a yes or no. And I sensed, I sensed that's all I had to do is, say, one or the other, and they would make itself. You know?

Vonne Solis  26:22  
So it's so interesting. So, I think kind of circling back to trying to help people because we've helped ourselves and I think reached a point comfortably, where we don't struggle with that anymore. I have not struggled for years with that. But it sets you on a path that I'm going to ask if you just agree with this. That this choice of, okay, I'll do this. What we're really saying is I want to live, aren't we? 

Brenda Rachel  26:51  
Well, I'm not like you in that in the respect that I still struggle with not wanting to be here. 

Vonne Solis  26:58  
Oh, do you? 

Brenda Rachel  26:58  
Oh, absolutely. But I also made a conscious decision When I tried to commit suicide in 1996 and survived. The angels intervened and I survived, that I wouldn't ever try to take my life again. 

Vonne Solis  27:14  
Right.

Brenda Rachel  27:14  
And so I know that I've got that the power within me to survive and keep going. And so but it's just an acknowledgement. It's an acknowledgement that, you know, there's not much and when I get into that place? That, well there's really not that much keeping me here. And, and because I already know, or believe. I don't know

Vonne Solis  27:43  
Yeah.

Brenda Rachel  27:43  
Because I haven't made the transition to the other side

Vonne Solis  27:46  
 Right.

Brenda Rachel  27:47  
That the other side is way more beautiful than here. I already know that. 

Vonne Solis  27:50  
Yeah. 

Brenda Rachel  27:50  
And will be everything that I can even fathom within my consciousness of how it will be. And so I struggle within myself knowing that? 

Vonne Solis  28:04  
Yeah.

Brenda Rachel  28:04  
And saying like, Oh my God. Why would you choose to stay on a planet filled with so much hatred, and animosity and conflict, and struggle and strife?

Vonne Solis  28:14  
Okay, here's a, here's a question for you though. If that's the perspective and so hang on. So here's the glass. Do you see it half-full or half-empty people? Do you see it half-full or half-empty? 

Brenda Rachel  28:32  
Well, I think it totally depends on what you know, what avenue or or what aspect I'm looking at. If I'm looking at it from a world state? You know, like there it 

Vonne Solis  28:36  
Well the glass half-empty or the glass half-full for me? That's your life.

Brenda Rachel  28:50  
Well I don't go by life. I go by what's the segments of different things that are going on in life. I don't look at the glass and go my whole life I go.

Vonne Solis  29:00  
Yeah, well, it's just a, anyway it's an example but so what what I guess what I don't want to

Brenda Rachel  29:04  
Look it. We're coming from it from two different places. And so I don't

Vonne Solis  29:07  
Yeah

Brenda Rachel  29:07  
I don't even have that kind of consciousness anymore. Glass half-empty, glass half-full. 

Brenda Rachel  29:12  
Oh okay.

Brenda Rachel  29:13  
So I just have, do I want to live in a place where I am surrounded by lots of beauty.

Vonne Solis  29:23  
Yes. And that's what I wanted to get to. 

Brenda Rachel  29:25  
Okay.

Vonne Solis  29:25  
When we are, we live on Vancouver Island, folks. So we are surrounded by ocean, mountains and forests. I mean, it doesn't get much better than this. So my question is, and this is in general. Just in very general terms. For all of us who and also I just want to acknowledge really quickly that if if you are like an empath and or even just picking up energy of places? The world?

Brenda Rachel  29:51  
Right.

Vonne Solis  29:51  
And we both do that. And it's a lot. A lot. And I think a lot, millions and millions of people have that ability and feel the weight 

Brenda Rachel  29:51  
Right.

Vonne Solis  29:52  
of the world. 

Brenda Rachel  29:52  
That's what I'm saying to you.

Vonne Solis  29:58  
But no, but let's, let me

Brenda Rachel  30:03  
Right.

Vonne Solis  30:03  
I know, but let me just ask a question here. So the question is, perspective wise, if we can, let me how do we want to phrase this? If we can, umm would it be better? I once read a thing from Wayne Dyer, that that he said. You know, he struggled with not being able in the work that Wayne Dyer did to fix the world. Have it, have his work and the work of anybody in related businesses and all of us, right? Have it really impact and basically read the world of the dark forces. 

Brenda Rachel  30:03  
Right.

Vonne Solis  30:05  
And so and I was struggling that in my earliest grief and for the first few years, and felt very much about what you're talking about. Well, you know, like, what's the point? It gets very tiring and doesn't change anything. And it feels like kind of the wars and the greed and you know, just all of that stuff. The the just the conflict in general. We're like, we're ruining ourselves is what it actually kind of feels like. But I guess what I'm not struggling, but curious about. What I'm curious about, is, well, what if, in our beautiful work that we do? And it takes a lot of effort and energy, especially when you keep at it for years. And for anybody else out there acknowledging this. Doing their work and contributing and wanting peace. Just living your life and wanting peace people? And you just don't see that? And I'm, you know, and I'm speaking to the people that have a sense of empathy and do feel the weight of the world and not are not people that just, well my world is fine. Like, you know, I'm talking about this on a greater humanity, scale of humanity here. So would the effort to just focus on all the beauty we're surrounded by? Like, when, can that be enough for for us? And in choosing to want to be on the planet or not, is it even a fair question to contemplate that that should be enough for us? Do you understand what I mean? 

Brenda Rachel  32:23  
Well, I do but again, you know, our situations are totally different. 

Vonne Solis  32:26  
I'm just talking in general terms. 

Brenda Rachel  32:28  
Yeah. Oh

Vonne Solis  32:29  
In very general, very general terms. How can this be? I haven't figured this out myself. Like I get really frustrated, like continuing doing good work. Right? But I don't struggle with being on the planet or not because I have my son. 

Brenda Rachel  32:45  
Well you have Sky.

Vonne Solis  32:46  
But if I didn't have him. So but in just very generic terms for people out there, is there, umm, because if you really didn't want to be here, you would have arranged an exit point? Don't you think?

Brenda Rachel  33:03  
Well I arranged 

Vonne Solis  33:03  
Naturally. 

Brenda Rachel  33:04  
Yeah. I arranged many exit points. 

Vonne Solis  33:06  
No, no, I'm talking now though. With this awareness. 

Brenda Rachel  33:08  
Yeah.

Vonne Solis  33:08  
Now. And being very conscious of I could end this when I'm done.

Brenda Rachel  33:10  
I have asked the angels to take me home when my purpose work is done here. And I will go and my purpose work is down here. So that is what keeps me going. And so the completion of my book in June, which took me five years to write was the last thing that they guided me to do. And so I haven't gotten my next, my next

Vonne Solis  33:44  
So that's interesting. So if and I don't want to phrase this, you know, state this for you. But I want to clarify. So would it be fair to say that what motivates you at the moment to stay on this planet? Not to just arrange and we're not talking suicide here, folks. We're just talking, we're talking at a very high conscious level. Understanding this concept that if you don't want to be here, an exit will manifest for you, and, and, you know, you're going to go. And the problem with that, is that even if we believe that, and I believe that 100%. Because that's what that force, angel showed me. If you really don't want to be here, it's as simple as yes or no. And I knew they would take me home. Maybe not that night. And it actually kind of scared me. That's how powerful that visit was. It kind of scared me. The truth of that.

Brenda Rachel  34:41  
Right. 

Vonne Solis  34:41  
So I've been very conscious of that for 18 years now.

Brenda Rachel  34:44  
And so in that fear you made the decision. No, I don't want to go.

Vonne Solis  34:48  
Yeah, well, I'm using the word fear but it was kind of scary to know it was that simple.

Brenda Rachel  34:53  
No I know.

Vonne Solis  34:53  
Holy crap. 

Brenda Rachel  34:54  
I understand that.

Vonne Solis  34:55  
I know you get it. I know you get it. So the here's the thing. So is waiting for your next purpose, assignment. Your assignment, enough to keep you here? Like, do you understand what I'm saying?

Brenda Rachel  35:06  
I do. But I'm also saying to you that for right now, I just choose to be a light worker however, the angels choose to use me daily. 

Vonne Solis  35:16  
Yeah.

Brenda Rachel  35:16  
And so I don't know how that's going to unfold. 

Vonne Solis  35:19  
Okay.

Brenda Rachel  35:20  
But like I said, it is a struggle for me to stay here. However, it like I said, in that struggle, I am making a conscious decision every day to stay here and asking the angels to show me how I can be a messenger for them. Every single day. 

Vonne Solis  35:38  
Yeah.

Brenda Rachel  35:39  
And whether it's putting something out positive on my social media platform?

Vonne Solis  35:44  
Right.

Brenda Rachel  35:44  
Or it's talking to a total stranger in a grocery store. I do my thing the way I need to do that.

Vonne Solis  35:50  
For sure.

Brenda Rachel  35:51  
And I and I don't know what the angels have in store for me. But I am absolutely willing to continue doing the light work that I was brought here to do. 

Vonne Solis  36:02  
So I think ultimately, how we come to our purpose work, and especially when we're working with higher dimensions. In our case angels. However people choose to be doing their purpose work. There, it's almost like this human struggle with when you acknowledge the soul. The contract. The purpose. And it feels so out of alignment with what we have chosen? Because we both believe we choose our experiences. As as painful and as much suffering as we go through it is the foundation of my work. It's the foundation of your work Bren. That, so we own that.

Brenda Rachel  36:47  
Yeah.

Vonne Solis  36:47  
We've chosen this. Aaagh. How are we gonna get ourselves out of this one? But I think that's the dichotomy. Is that human limitation of being able to deal with stuff that feels like just an nth. Nth of, it doesn't even exist in the other realm. 

Brenda Rachel  37:07  
Right. Right. 

Vonne Solis  37:08  
And so having the awareness of both worlds?

Brenda Rachel  37:12  
Yeah.

Vonne Solis  37:13  
And I've gained an awful lot of knowledge and awareness through Janaya's visits to me over the years. And so she's proof in the pudding that ongoing consciousness exists. For those of you who may doubt? Neither of us are here to convince you. And I've long said, and I believe that you would say the same thing. It's not our job to try and change anyone's mind or convince them of an afterlife, ongoing consciousness, infinity. Whatever you want to call it. It can only be experienced for us to interpret what that experience means and will continue to mean for us. And that has largely shaped my entire life since I was 48 years old. The age I was when I lost my daughter. Now, I believe this conceptually before that. And for example, Gary Zhukov's Seat of the Soul. I mean, I love that book. But any book I read before then. Anything to do with consciousness. You know, creating your own reality. Any of the biggies in you know, the 70s, the 80s, the 90s, all pretty much the same people. But nevertheless, I had to re-read and re-think, re-purpose every bit of that to create a new foundation for my life, because now it was a reality in my life. I didn't have to sit there and imagine an afterlife. Now, I needed to know the truth. Because I really wanted to know my daughter was okay. That Janaya was okay. Which is what most people who have lost loved ones. They want to know they're okay. And man, did I get proof. 

Vonne Solis  38:56  
So again, that is sort of for me, I think that another thing that though another reason. So I just want to, I just want to state. So if I didn't have my family and being shaped by my family, where it has become a pillar for me to hang onto, I think I'd probably be a lot like you. In the sense that I don't even know if I could like, quote, win the battle, though, of staying for the purpose. And knowing that it'd be a lot easier and different, you know, not here on the planet. So ultimately, I just want to finish off this and this is all starting by saying, you know, like our vision for the world. But it's really important, I think, to acknowledge, because anybody that's going forward, and we've had this conversation, are we going to see peace in our lifetime? I remember a time, correct me if I'm wrong, that you thought it was possible?

Brenda Rachel  40:04  
Yes, no. And I still do. And I and I think that there is such a massive, whether it's conscious or subconscious current that's happening right now. That there are changes that are, nobody, we can't see them yet, physically. So or I shouldn't say we. Maybe some people can. I haven't seen a lot of big changes being overhauled here. But I'm thinking back to like in the 60s with the hippie movement, and the free love and all that kind of ... and all you heard was peace and love. 

Vonne Solis  40:45  
Yeah, yeah. 

Brenda Rachel  40:46  
You know in the 60s. And because I was born in '53. So, old enough to understand all that whole, that's the first sort of consciousness that I was brought into that I was aware of when I, from being born. So say, 11, 10 11, 12, somewhere in there.

Vonne Solis  41:07  
Yeah. Hey, would you have wanted to be a hippie? 

Brenda Rachel  41:09  
No, it was too

Vonne Solis  41:10  
I would have been at Woodstock. That's all I want to say.

Brenda Rachel  41:13  
Yeah, I mean

Vonne Solis  41:13  
And I was a little too young, but I would have been at Woodstock.

Brenda Rachel  41:17  
Yeah no. And the only thing for me, I think, with the hippie thing was, like, I believed in the love and the all of that, but it just, it wasn't kind of the, the arena. 

Vonne Solis  41:33  
You know. I know. I know. You're tapping into the, the peace and the love and that. There didn't have to be war. 

Brenda Rachel  41:41  
Correct.

Vonne Solis  41:42  
Like fast forward decades later, here we are saying basically the same thing, but just in a different, you know, type of environment. Where war and strife and conflict, it just never seems to go away. 

Brenda Rachel  41:55  
Right. 

Vonne Solis  41:56  
But I think the other thing, and you and I have talked about this, too, is you know, there are so many beautiful places on this planet. So I do anchor myself in that beauty whenever I get kind of going down a path that like isn't feeling very healthy for me.

Brenda Rachel  42:19  
Yeah.

Vonne Solis  42:20  
And I wouldn't say it's depression. And another thing I just want to quickly say here for people who are in grief. You know, I realized in the last couple of years that I really think there's a difference between sorrow and depression. And so I looked up symptoms of depression and I don't suffer that. I literally don't. I'm, and so, but I am acknowledging that when my heart feels burdened with so much sorrow in the world and suffering, and the jury's out for me. Here's a great question on whether we do need to suffer on this planet. That we do need to get our biggest lessons through some kind of suffering. I will include anything in that. Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual. Like, honestly? You and I don't have the answer for why there is so much darkness and suffering. But I will continue to believe and I will ask you if you do, and I'm going to wager yes? That the light is more powerful? I'm not sure if there's more or less of it. If there was more of it, I guess I would think that well, the darkness would go away. So not sure if the light is more powerful, but that there might seem to be at least more darkness. And by that we just mean like dark energy. Dark forces. Anything that you know, all the things we just talked about. You know, war. Meanness. There's different levels of darkness. But anything that really doesn't come from a place of pure love, and giving and compassion and wanting respect and you know, wanting nice things for yourself and each other. To feel good emotionally, spiritually. To feel loved. Just to be kind, right? To feel loved and worthy. 

Vonne Solis  44:08  
I'm 100% a believer in anybody that can, you know, go and persecute and literally slaughter somebody else is really coming from a place of incredible fear and lack of love for themselves which, it started somewhere. I like to think every baby born is innocent. I could be wrong. But at any rate, so I anchor myself a little bit. And so this thing about the light being maybe seemingly to us less, but definitely more powerful. It kind of holds those forces in check, where they don't take over the entire world. And then so is that what we have to kind of hang on to you know? Like in those moments to look at the blue sky and look at the sunshine. And in our case, look at the ocean and trees and mountains and the gloriousness. If that's a word. The glory of the planet. I mean, do you think that's enough to, you know, and what and what we do have that's working for us? Is that enough to anchor us into wanting to well stay here I guess? And if so, and the other piece to that is, like, why is it kind of criminal in most cultures, if you don't want to stay here? For the people that exit on their own? 

Brenda Rachel  44:08  
Right.

Vonne Solis  44:08  
Let's just call it suicide. And no, I'm not advocating for suicide. But I am saying, why have we been conditioned to live here in suffering? And accept that as maybe just part of the human experience? 

Brenda Rachel  45:58  
Well if we, you know, I think it's, it it is formulated from my own belief. And my own belief is that very basic. I chose to come here. And so you know, right out of the gate. Nobody forced me to make a decision to come to planet earth. So I chose my parents. I chose the family I was going to have, and be brought up in and everything else that has happened to me in my life. And I make that very clear in my book. That when I came to understand this, there was such a freedom. Just like where I am now with my choice. It's my choice to think all of the things that I need to think about not wanting to stay here. And so I can change that that thought about how I feel about not wanting to be here at any moment. So I'm just being very frank and open and say, I have these feelings, and they're very real. And and these thoughts, because thoughts aren't feelings, and, but I do believe thoughts create feelings, that it is a struggle for me to to want to be here. And I'm the only one that can change my perspective on this. Not one other person can get inside my mind, and switch, flip the switch. 

Brenda Rachel  47:35  
So for right now, I am choosing to be here, and to live the life to the best of my ability to be a light worker. And bring the consciousness of caring and compassion, consideration, kindness, and respect, which are the five traits I follow, and just want to have the most peaceful environment I can have to live in. I think it's very important for me to recognize that I am an empath. And there are many people that aren't empaths. 

Vonne Solis  48:11  
Are or aren't?

Brenda Rachel  48:11  
Aren't. 

Vonne Solis  48:12  
Yeah. 

Brenda Rachel  48:12  
And so, and an empath is one who really feels from their soul place. Not just oh, I feel bad about what I saw on TV, or what happened to that family or whatever. I feel it. And

Vonne Solis  48:27  
Yeah, me too.

Brenda Rachel  48:28  
And I was sobbing when I was 10 years old, in front of the TV in our home. We got a TV when I was 10. And I was sobbing, watching something that was catastrophic to me. And mom came rushing into the living room and couldn't understand why I was sobbing. And I was just so overwhelmed with what was happening to in on the TV right? 

Vonne Solis  48:55  
Yeah. 

Brenda Rachel  48:56  
Like, it was like it was happening to me. So, you know, when we feel things, like you understand this. It's a, you come from a totally different place where from another person that will have an understanding, and they will feel bad that that's going on in your life. But they don't feel it from that from that soul. And you people out there who are empaths and really get what I'm saying as far as like, it just takes over your whole body. Can't help it. You don't sit there and say I want to feel this way. You just feel this way.

Vonne Solis  49:31  
I think anybody, sis, who is a channel, Brenda and I are both channels for angels. When you have been chosen to or you choose to be of service, you're going to be used for service in ways you can't even imagine.

Brenda Rachel  49:52  
Yep.

Vonne Solis  49:52  
That's right?

Brenda Rachel  49:54  
A given. 

Vonne Solis  49:55  
Right, right? 

Brenda Rachel  49:56  
Yeah. 

Vonne Solis  49:56  
And so I think we both knew at very young ages there was this innate kind of, we came to it differently. So there was this innate thing that we, we wouldn't have had as children. And we're going to be next episode talking about the dysfunction we came from. But we wouldn't have necessarily, I don't want speak to you, but I didn't have the capacity to completely understand what I was going to do. But things like banging away on the Olivetti and writing my first story and having a more free spirit. You are more the, you know, straight and narrow, right? And I'm like, just left home before I'm 16. And, you know, super trusting, just living this super liberal life. Not kidding, I would have been at Woodstock had I just been born a few years earlier. But what I want to actually say is that, again, what we're acknowledging here, and what's so cool about us being able to do this, and you know, have respect for each other's experiences. So, it well, I don't struggle with what you struggle with. So we're sort of we're not I think polarized in that. We have different reasons for choosing to remain on the planet. Both totally aligned and accepting and understanding that it's our choice to be here. And by the way, spiritual philosophy teaches this. And I came to this concept in my mid 20s. And it was just okay. I never struggled with that. I was never like, for all the dysfunction we did come from and we are going to be talking about, I don't think either of us blamed our parents. 

Brenda Rachel  51:35  
No.

Vonne Solis  51:36  
You know? The other two kids might have, but it never bothered me. It just Oh, wow. So feeling this and having experiences. I did have out of body kind of experiences when I was a child quite a bit. I didn't really understand them, but like the room would get really super big. And I got kind of really, it was weird. There was like this, something going on. But I wouldn't have understood it. But I could feel it when it would happen. And now that I look back at it, it was probably a little bit of kind of going out of my body a bit.

Brenda Rachel  52:04  
Nice. 

Brenda Rachel  52:04  
But but the thing is celebrating the differences between us, this is part of that and understanding and respecting your struggle. I appreciate you sharing that because I think there's probably a good number of people aligned with your experience. Just like there are a good number of people aligned with my experience of you know, you know, child loss and terrible, terrible bereavement. Just horrible. You wouldn't wish it on anybody. And still being faced with having to find something that makes us want to stay. I don't care what it is actually, in a sense of of what it is you do want to say, why you want to stay. The fact is we're making a choice for some reason to stay. I guess what I'm trying to say is if we're choosing to stay, damn, make the best of your day. If you're choosing to stay make the best of your day.

Brenda Rachel  53:11  
I love that. Being a poet right?

Vonne Solis  53:14  
Yeah. We've both written poetry too. But but you know what I'm saying? Because we only rob ourselves, if we choose to stay and then make it a miserable existence. I don't know. We're on getting to the top of the hour and we spent the whole time basically talking about that today. Which was not really planned. So I'm going to have to leave what we want to talk about til next episode. Which is going to be all about exit points. We're going to talk about coming from dysfunction, and how it impacts us. And you if you know you've experienced that. And basically having this desire to achieve. Which we're going to be talking about that came that from your book sis, when you say, all I have to where you state, all I have to do is believe where there's a desire to achieve. And the reason I'm sort of bringing that up now as a prelude to next episode is because it becomes very important when we don't struggle with the choice that we made to stay and do our part. As painful as some of our experiences have been. 

Brenda Rachel  54:26  
Well, I think for me, the struggle leaves and it's non non-existent when I accept that I'm, I'm the one that made the decision. 

Vonne Solis  54:37  
Yes.

Brenda Rachel  54:38  
I take full accountability, full accountability for my choices. 

Vonne Solis  54:43  
Yeah. 

Brenda Rachel  54:43  
And nobody else is making me stay here. So or you know putting the thought into my mind that I want to stay. It's me saying and making my own decision. So.

Vonne Solis  54:54  
I fully 100% agree with that. So for anyone struggling I'd invite you To think about that. We're certainly not sitting here asking you to adopt the, I call it sort of philosophy. It's a foundational principle in my life accepting I choose to be here. So if I choose to be here, I can't blame anyone else for my circumstances.

Brenda Rachel  55:20  
Right.

Vonne Solis  55:21  
I could probably create a natural exit. Even maybe a painless one. But I have found reasons to not let my suffering, right? Rob me of that. And so in basically closing this one out today, which has been awesome. Just an awesome discussion, I want to leave you with the invitation to just think about your reason for being on the planet if you choose to believe you have the power to stay here. Not robbing yourself of anything that could be considered robbing yourself of today. Simply put what you want to make of your experience that you're choosing to align with, I would say, and when you find purpose, it just kind of all comes together, doesn't it? 

Brenda Rachel  56:18  
What I was going to just add to those people who are just in a place of not knowing. Just indecision, and maybe pain. Maybe suffering. Maybe things have not gone the way that you thought they were gonna go. I would just say, if you can start your sentence with, Today I choose... and even just saying those three words, that gives, that empowers you. And it doesn't give the power to any other person over your life if you're in a terrible situation. Living situation, or you're having problems with your children, or whatever it is. Work. It could be anything. Just even just you know, finances. A lot of people are having financial difficulties right now finding homes, jobs, and all that kind of stuff. So just say, Today I choose. Today I choose.

Vonne Solis  57:16  
I love that. Today I choose. I don't use that specific phrase. But I'm much more deliberate about it now. Thinking very momentarily about what's on my plate. And I'm choosing to love every single part of my day, because I have reached a point where I'm doing what I love. But we can apply that to the parts of our days that we are going to mostly enjoy. And the ones that we really don't yet have control over such as reporting for a job you might not like or something like that. Still, I am choosing to look at this solution-oriented, I am choosing to whatever it is that brings you that feeling of empowerment. We're going to be talking about a lot more about that. I don't expect anyone to kind of grab on to that. If you're already into this type of practice, one of you know, of empowerment and creating what you want, and you have have, you know, things to actually demonstrate your success at that. You know, there are still moments that we you know, doubt and you know, mistrust or get impatient or whatever. But I just love that and I'm going to take that with me. I choose to... very empowering. It's a really great way to start tapping into your place of personal power, right? 

Brenda Rachel  58:35  
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

Vonne Solis  58:36  
Any last thoughts today? We covered a lot.

Brenda Rachel  58:39  
We sure did. 

Vonne Solis  58:40  
Holy smoly.

Brenda Rachel  58:40  
Well, I would just say that just treat yourself well. Do something good that you would not normally do. And you know, think of one thing. Just one thing that you would not normally do for yourself and just treat yourself. 

Vonne Solis  58:54  
Yeah. Because you deserve it. 

Brenda Rachel  58:55  
Absolutely. 

Vonne Solis  58:56  
So thanks again for tuning in if you're watching or listening to this. And thanks for great conversation. Ready for a latte?

Brenda Rachel  59:05  
Yeah. 

Vonne Solis  59:07  
Love you too. Okay, until next week, we are the Soul Sisters!

Transcribed by https://otter.ai